# Open for business...



## brookhollow (Dec 14, 2005)

Alright, let's say that the following four restaurants have just recently opened up for business in the Shire: Cracker Barrel, Starbucks, Buffalo Wild Wings, and Krispy Kreme. Which one of the four will do the best business and why?


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## Wolfshead (Dec 14, 2005)

Starbucks, because it's the only one that's been powerful enough to penetrate the UK market. And seeing as the Shire is somewhat similar to rural England then we have our answer 

When I buy coffee, though, I prefer Costa Coffee - owned by Whitbread, who my dad used to work for, and has shares in...  Plus they have the coffee franchise on our university campus.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Dec 14, 2005)

Judging by the Cracker Barrel menu, I'd say that the good old-fashioned down home cookin' would be much closer to a hobbit appetite — _Starbucks in the Shire???!!_ Good lord! 

But nobody can do justice to hobbit appetites like real hobbit cooking! (Except at the Prancing Pony of course... )

Barley


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## Hammersmith (Dec 15, 2005)

I somehow think that whichever opened would be owned by Saruman...


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## Alcuin (Dec 15, 2005)

Barliman Butterbur said:


> Judging by the Cracker Barrel menu, I'd say that the good old-fashioned down home cookin' would be much closer to a hobbit appetite — _Starbucks in the Shire???!!_ Good lord!
> 
> But nobody can do justice to hobbit appetites like real hobbit cooking! (Except at the Prancing Pony of course... )
> 
> Barley


Country ham, grits, and turnip greens!


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## brookhollow (Dec 15, 2005)

Even if Starbucks doesnt win out, can you imagine caffienated hobbits? Middle Earth will never be the same.

And I have to admit, the Cracker Barrel menu is a big selling point. Greens, grits, ham, and other down-home food (chicken livers, dumplins, and corn bread) would probably go a long way. I haven't voted on this one yet, jury's still out for me.


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## e.Blackstar (Dec 15, 2005)

Cracker Barrel has hobbit-y cooking, but Krispy Kreme might appeal to them too.


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## Hammersmith (Dec 16, 2005)

Cracker Barrel is a no-no. We don't have grits in England, no sane Englishman would go within the doors of a shop selling grits, grits are plain nastly, ergo hobbits would run a mile from said grits.

Now I can see a Harvester starting up in Hobbiton...


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## Barliman Butterbur (Dec 16, 2005)

e.Blackstar said:


> Cracker Barrel has hobbit-y cooking, but Krispy Kreme might appeal to them too.



Don't get me going on Krispy Kreme! It used to be that I was safe, because the only stores were in the outlying sections of Los Angeles. In fact it used to be that I'd have to go onto the UCLA campus because they sell them there in the Cooperage. I could resist that, because of the gasoline, wear and tear on the car, and the $8 parking fee. But now they've put in little (and some not so little) Krispy Kreme _bakery stands_ with _daily delivery_ in all the Ralphs' and Albertson's markets, and even Rite-Aide! Now they're within a three-minute driving distance of _where I live_ — *help!!!*  **shaking with fear at the thought of giving in...**

As for grits — I didn't even know what grits were until I was stationed in the Deep South in the Air Force for two years. They serve 'em automatically with your breakfast eggs, bacon, toast, orange juice and coffee. Not only did I learn to love grits, I learned to cover 'em with a couple of fried eggs over medium, and drowned in Tabasco Sauce! Hobbits would go _mad_ for that! They'd get over any culture shock in a _big_ hurry! 

Barley the Carboholic


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## e.Blackstar (Dec 16, 2005)

Oh Barley, don't be so negative. Krispy Kreme donuts are your _friends_...far better than dry manky old cake donuts.


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## brookhollow (Dec 16, 2005)

I know grits are completley foreign to hobbits. So is coffee ( I think), and donuts, and hot wings. If there is one thing we all know about hobbits, they won't turn good food away, even it is unheard of (or queer as they say in the books).


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## Garwen (Dec 25, 2005)

The Cracker Barrel has good food. 
Hobbits would love that.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Dec 25, 2005)

e.Blackstar said:


> Oh Barley, don't be so negative. Krispy Kreme donuts are your friends...far better than dry manky old cake donuts.



This being Christmas Day, we went over to my father-in-law's house with prepacked deli — cold salads and hot chicken — and two boxes of a dozen each assorted Kristmas Krispy Kremes — and we shall _not_ discuss how many I may or may not have eaten... 

And to Brookhollow: Bilbo indeed served coffee to Gandalf and the Dwarves in _The Hobbit._ So somewhere in Middle-earth (probably in the hot subtropical regions of the South Farthing) there are functioning _coffee plantations_ not otherwise mentioned...

Barley


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## e.Blackstar (Dec 26, 2005)

> and we shall not discuss how many I may or may not have eaten...


And you loved it, we all know you did. If "it's all about how you treat yourself and others"  then you're treating yourself (mentally, at least) very well. Krispy Kremes are the epitome of _tastyness_.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Dec 26, 2005)

e.Blackstar said:


> ...you're treating yourself (mentally, at least) very well. Krispy Kremes are the epitome of _tastyness_.



With my waistline and prevailing physical condition, I was not treating myself well at all. And there comes a point (you are probably still very far away from it in your young life) where _guilt_ trumps _enjoyment_... 

Barley


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