# Things The Fellowship Never Did



## Wolfshead (May 27, 2003)

Here's a neat little idea I've had for a good thread. Hopefully it'll be successful, and if it is, we could maybe compile a Top 10 List of Things The Fellowship Would Never Do 

Ok, so basically, we're looking at all those things the motley crew of vagabonds that were heading towards Mordor never did during the book, for example, you never see them going to the toilet, nor is it mentioned.

So, I'll start, with just one for now.

They never complained about blisters - these fat hobbits, leave home and walk and walk, yet never do they complain about sore feet. Anyone imagine Sam going, "Gandalf, when can we stop? My feet are killing me!"?

I'm now going to be corrected and be told there is a complaint from the hobbits, and that I have forgotten... but that's life, I suppose  

So, yeah, everyone else think 'em up


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## Peacemaker (May 27, 2003)

no no I don't recall the hobbits ever complaining, and I agree that makes no sense! and also, the whole bathroom thing.......every single book I read when I finish it, I put it down, somebody asks me what i thought of it, I look at them, and say as serious as can be "they never went to the bathroom. not once."


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## Wolfshead (May 27, 2003)

That's one of the things I don't like about a lot of books - they're far too pleasant. My favourite author is David Gemmell, and ocassionally his characters relieve themselves against a tree, or something to that effect first thing in the morning


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## Peacemaker (May 27, 2003)

well they do have t relieve themselves somehow.......they're obeying the call of nature.....making a miniature Niagra falls..........ACK! I have a nasty mind.....


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## BlackCaptain (May 27, 2003)

Well besides the going to the bathroom thing, I noticed that ... Umm... They never took showers. Suriously! Do they not have oil glands? 

Also they never:
- Blew their noses
- Cleaned their ears
- Brushed their teeth

I could never go for like, a week without cleaning my ears! Haha... But that's probly just me...


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## Peacemaker (May 27, 2003)

augh, it's so gross to think about this.....I woulda NEVER been able to go w/ them on that quest-mission-thing..........


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## Gandalf_White (May 28, 2003)

This is good stuff! 

eeewww! Those dudes were sicko no showers, no teeth brushing, no toilet!    

They never change their clothes or wash them either!


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## Gary Gamgee (May 28, 2003)

I reckon Aragon farted alot re Frodo's 'one of the dark agents would have looked fairer and smelled sweeter'


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## Niniel (May 28, 2003)

Guys you're so disgusting! What I wondered about is that they never had problems getting food; at least not in the beginning of their journey. You'd say it's impossible to take it all wit them, but it never says they went to kill some deer or a rabbit, or how they cooked it when they had found something.


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## Peacemaker (May 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Gary Gamgee _
> *I reckon Aragon farted alot re Frodo's 'one of the dark agents would have looked fairer and smelled sweeter' *



oh GROSS!!!!!!!!  that is SO SICK!


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## BlackCaptain (May 28, 2003)

Haha. You'll also notice that no where does it mention Gimli's mother. I wonder where he came from... Sears? K-Mart? Bluelight specials are always good...!


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## VioletFalcon129 (May 28, 2003)

I know something they never did, at least not often enough. They hardly( if at all) fed thier horse/ponies! poor animals! if i'm wrong( a habbit of mine) go ahead and point it out. 

Raen


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## BlackCaptain (May 28, 2003)

Actualy your right! Yay Falcon! But it barely ever mentions when the Fellowship eats either. We're just to assume that they did in fact eat.


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## Wolfshead (May 28, 2003)

And not once do they mention the pleasures of the opposite sex  You'd think these grown men would hunger after a little action once in a while


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## Peacemaker (May 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by BlackCaptain _
> *Haha. You'll also notice that no where does it mention Gimli's mother. I wonder where he came from... Sears? K-Mart? Bluelight specials are always good...! *



ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also it never seems to rain....hm......bright sunny weather? all the time? count me in, who cares how bad they stink........


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## Devushka (May 31, 2003)

Well most of these things are about hygeine, is there anything else? oh! i know: they almost never refreshed their weapons. i mean, do the arrow appear by themselves? does orc blood wash off swords automatically??? and do axes stay sharp all the time? i know these are magical weapons, but they can't be THAT low-maintenance.


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## Gandalf_White (May 31, 2003)

They are very heartless they never talk about their families.

They never have any fun. Why don't they go swimming or play tag?


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## Gary Gamgee (May 31, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Peacemaker _
> *oh GROSS!!!!!!!!  that is SO SICK! *



okay okay nicer ones.

There seemed to be no sport in ME at all. Not even a measly game of rounders. No one, except gollum, hunted or caught any food. AND they went right through a year and didn't celebrate Christmas 

ps I think there was mention of Legolas collecting used arrows.


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## goofoofighter (Jun 1, 2003)

Yeah, he recieved new arrows at Lothlorien, and picked up orc arrows after the battle at Amon Hen where Boromir died, but those two are the only mention I ever completely remember hearing...

They rarely mention eating and drinking, but heck I would leave out a lot of that if I were writing a book. That kind of necessary stuff makes for really super-boring repetition, believe me. I've read some where they keep mentioning it...

But in either case, just like with everything else, (sorry if this sounds kinda bad, I dunno if it was mentioned or not) when do they find time to go to the bathroom? I mean, I don't think they could squat behind a bush in Moria or anything... *lol*

Did they not have Bill when they tried to cross Caradhras, and then have him again when they were headed to Moria? That went unexplained in both versions of the movie, I know.


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## Wolfshead (Jun 1, 2003)

> _Originally posted by goofoofighter _
> *Yeah, he recieved new arrows at Lothlorien, and picked up orc arrows after the battle at Amon Hen where Boromir died, but those two are the only mention I ever completely remember hearing...*


 Didn't he collect them after the fight with the wolves as well?


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## Chymaera (Jun 1, 2003)

> _Originally posted by goofoofighter _
> *
> But in either case, just like with everything else, (sorry if this sounds kinda bad, I dunno if it was mentioned or not) when do they find time to go to the bathroom? I mean, I don't think they could squat behind a bush in Moria or anything... *lol*
> 
> *


 I think that Hobbits get rid of their bodily wastes by magic thereby never having to squat behind a tree 

That was in Concerning Hobbits wasn't it? 


heheheehee 


When they bathed at Crickhollow there was no mention of any other fixtures, but Copper tubs, right?


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## CelebrianTiwele (Jun 1, 2003)

::smack:: GROSS!!! ya but one thing about the movie that made me laugh was the way Legolas went thru all of Helm's deep with a full quiver of ELF arrows and he shot almost constantly. Also, did anyone notice shadowfax's reins? they were white. you could see them in Gandalf's hand when he descends into Helm's deep...


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## Helcaraxë (Jun 1, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Peacemaker _
> *ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*



Whats ROFL


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## Kailita (Jun 1, 2003)

Rolling On Floor Laughing.


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## Ledreanne313 (Jun 1, 2003)

My Idea about the bathroom situation: Of course they went to the bathroom! But just think about it...reading a great book and then all of a suddne Legolas, Fair elf prince puts down his bow and crosses his legs while jumping around saying 'I need to go to the bathroom...'And I do not think that it would be a pleasure readng about them having to go to the bathroom. So I'm sort-of glad that the book never mentioned anything.

Anne


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## CelebrianTiwele (Jun 1, 2003)

i agree with anne. it would be unbelievably boring.


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## Devushka (Jun 1, 2003)

yes, those descriptions in the books would be boring, and i agree that tolkien was right not to put them in. 

but here we are just mentioning quirks like that kind of stuff for fun. 
i think most people agree that the books would have been worse with all that, duh...


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## Wolfshead (Jun 2, 2003)

> _Originally posted by CelebrianTiwele _
> *i agree with anne. it would be unbelievably boring. *


 Yeah, but that's not the point...


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## Devushka (Jun 2, 2003)

EXACTLY. it's true that it'd be boring, but that's not the point of the thread. 

it's NOT debating creative literacy, it's just for amusement!!!


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## BranMuffin (Jun 16, 2003)

Waht about sleeping they didn't do much of that either. Would be wierd if three or four pages were blank in a book due to the characters sleeping. Maybe everyonce and a while a couple "z"s or maybe they talk in their sleep. Oooh sleepwalking I wonder if they did that.


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## Niniel (Jun 16, 2003)

It would be very dangerous to sleepwalk in Moria I suppose...could actually be exciting if someone did it.


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## HelplessModAddi (Jun 19, 2003)

Do Elves _ever_ go to the bathroom?


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## Wolfshead (Jun 20, 2003)

I don't know. And when they die, never does it mention the stench of a body whose stomach and innards have been sliced open...


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## Evenstar373 (Jun 20, 2003)

In Hellms deep Legolas says that hewas going to get arrows or somithing like that. Pippin sings Bilbo's favorite bath song so Hobbits take a bath.


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## Devushka (Jun 21, 2003)

none of them really practiced reading. i mean, elves are a highly knowledgable people and keep all the records, but it rarely mentions reading. hobbits, too, i suppose.


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## Evenstar373 (Jun 21, 2003)

your right! it said something anbout a museum but no libary


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## Ol'gaffer (Jun 21, 2003)

So far this is what I've compiled:

1) They never showered
2) Never complained
3) Never released any bodily fluids
4) Never spat
5) Never cursed
6) Never had headaches or nervous breakdowns
7) Never argued
8) Never overslept
9) Never snored
10) Never stepped on *anything*


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## Wolfshead (Jun 21, 2003)

They're perfect people, really, in a perfect world, where all the good guys are valiant and noble and the bad guys black and devious...


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## Devushka (Jun 21, 2003)

which is weird, because most entertainment that is like that with the stereotypical roles gets boring after a while and people put it down... but lotr is still going strong! always will, baby!!!


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## Evenstar373 (Jun 22, 2003)

Sam and gollum fight and He isnot black or noble just between

Does cures yoe count?


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## e.Blackstar (Jul 1, 2003)

1) They never showered
2) Never complained
3) Never released any bodily fluids
4) Never spat
5) Never cursed
6) Never had headaches or nervous breakdowns
7) Never argued
8) Never overslept
9) Never snored
10) Never stepped on *anything*
I'll have to remember this. I'm writing a story, and they are NOT perfect, but still.

So far they have cursed, spat, stepped on things, had headaches, overslept, snored, bathed in a river, complained, and argued. Oh, and vomited. (they were flying on dragons)


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## Wolfshead (Jul 3, 2003)

When you think about it, these LOTR characters are sickening, aren't they?


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## Veramir (Jul 5, 2003)

This is prolly more relative to the film as you can actually SEE the characters on the screen, but... THEY NEVER HAD A SHAVE! I mean elves had no facial hair AT ALL, and Aragorn maintains the 3-day-stubble look the entire time... but HOW!? Gimli obviously couldn't give a crap!
just a thought!
~V~


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## Wolfshead (Jul 6, 2003)

Good point. I think it's been established that elves don't have facial hair (apart from that guy with the beard at the Grey Havens), but Aragorn, very good. He never shaves!


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## e.Blackstar (Jul 7, 2003)

Did ANY of the Elven arrows miss? Either at Helm's Deep or Legolas?


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## Devushka (Jul 7, 2003)

well, that and the fact that he never seemed to run out of them. you know, four into this orc, two into that orc...and yet a full quiver, still


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## Wolfshead (Jul 8, 2003)

Magic


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## Devushka (Jul 8, 2003)

you know, the whole book has a magical premise, so these sort of things could just be the sort of stuff that just figures itself out magically in tolkien's world


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## e.Blackstar (Jul 8, 2003)

well, yeah, I suppose, but it still digusts me.

Does anyone ever trip, either?


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## Devushka (Jul 8, 2003)

in the movie the hobbits have quite a few blunders


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