# Advice: Don't write like this...



## Hobbit-GalRosie

I just found the most hilarious page with the MOST TERRIBLE ANALOGIES ever on it. I haven't laughed so hard since...actually, it was just since I was looking at those crazy avatars whence I chose my own, so last night, but that's not the point. Anyway, I just thought it would be a nice page for all the writer-types on the forum to look over for a good chuckle, and some reassurance that no matter how bad they might think they are, they'll never be THIS BAD.

http://funnies.paco.to/writingTips.html

My exact thought process upon reading "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't." was as follows:

..............................................

?????????????????????????????????????????????????

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!


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## e.Blackstar

Heh heh! Hilarious!


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## Urambo Tauro

It's vaguely reminiscent of a web page somewhere filled with terrible analogies!


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## e.Blackstar

Urambo Tauro said:


> It's vaguely reminiscent of a web page somewhere filled with terrible analogies!


 
Ahahahahahahahahaha! *reads UT's post again* Ahahahahahahaha! *collapses on the floor laughing* Ahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ahem...too true.


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## Wraithguard

Indeed. Some of those are... odd to me.


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## Raithnait

hee!!! I love those! "John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."


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## Elorendil

*laughs really hard* That's great! Definitely an example of how not to write, just like burning the turkey is an example of how not to start a fire...


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## Hammersmith

Those are rather parodical...I felt the touch of Pratchett in many. In the right context (such as one of his books) they could be fantastic.


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## Hobbit-GalRosie

Hammersmith said:


> Those are rather parodical...I felt the touch of Pratchett in many. In the right context (such as one of his books) they could be fantastic.



Oh my gosh, I didn't think of that. I wouldn't be surprised if at least some of them are like that intentionally. I would love to see more of this kind of things in ingenious fantasy parodies like Pratchett's.


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## e.Blackstar

Hah! You're right, Hammersmith, very Pratchett-y! I hadn't thought of that!


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## spirit

> Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.


  Oh dear...


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## ingolmo

THOSE WERE WONDERFUL!!!!    
Where do you get sites like that??!!


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## Hobbit-GalRosie

Well, that was on this site:

http://funnies.paco.to/

Under the factual heading. The other super-duper extra-special gem of that section was the history of the world according to student bloopers, everyone in the world should read that or they haven't really lived, but almost all of them are good, or at least the ones I've read. Probably have to post that student blooper thing in the Stuff and Bother section which I don't usually bother with, it'd be a service to humanity but it's decidely off-topic.

Other randomly humorous sites not at all related to this are http://www.engrish.com/ which probably everyone knows already and http://www.amiright.com/ which is probably the best (or at least largest) collection of misheard lyrics on the web. They also have parodies and sections making fun of bad real lyrics and ideas for bad oh hold music (example: Van Halen's "Jump" for a suicide hotline) and all sorts of other good stuff.


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## Hobbit-queen

Heeeee, heeeeeeee! Great!

 "Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze." 
(nice visual) 

I loved these...haaaa,heeeeeh,whaaahaaheh,heh,heeeeeee!


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## Astran

yup the bowling ball -one is the best imo  Thats the humor i like


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