# FBI Tracks Down TTF Member



## Urambo Tauro

FBI Tracks Down TTF Member

Yesterday was an interesting day at work. I was in the back when I was informed there was someone to see me. I came up front, where the special agent introduced himself and we went to a nearby office. He showed me his FBI credentials and explained the situation. A suspicious notepad had been found, containing strange writings that proved unreadable. I recognized the notepad because it was _the one I lost a few days earlier_.

Time for some backstory....
About three years ago, when _TLOTR_ hype was at its peak, I was also at the peak of my.... nerdiness.  You see, I even took time to figure out how to write with Tengwar. I learned about different modes, and how they applied to writing with different languages. It was difficult, but to help in learning how to write with Tengwar, I used it in everyday writing. This is where the notepad comes in.
I tend to be somewhat forgetful, and often write short notes to myself. Whenever I wrote myself a reminder, I would use Tengwar. It was fine because I was the only one reading the pad. Of course, I would sometimes use the English alphabet for things I had to read quickly. But I continue to use the Tengwar sometimes, no particular reason.

So the agent hands over a photocopy of every page from the notepad I had lost. It turns out, the original was being held in Washington, DC, where it was being studied! Fifteen experts could not interpret the "strange writings", due to the fact that it wasn't Arabic, nor was it Albanian, nor Russian....

The curious notepad also contained a sketch of a house (a doodle on my part), as well as a phone number to a car dealership and a VIN number (I recently bought a car), and to top it all off, a page with numerical law-codes pertaining to knives/blades (important info, because I collect swords)! Next to each law-code number was a short note, like "airport" or "school" (sections specific to special areas). These details, grouped with the "unreadable script", created a very alarming situation, the reason I was being questioned.

I told the agent I would be happy to translate or explain anything of question. I told him about where this "strange writing" came from. I went over the sheets, briefly explaining every one, and gave him a chart to take back to the translators to interpret the entire document. He was relieved at the false alarm, telling me that this is what happens 99% of the time. Shopping lists written in Arabic are found all the time! But apparently this is the first using Tengwar. He informed me that although I may or may not get my notepad back, I will at least get a copy of it.

Guess what they are adding to their list of known alphabets? 


So what was in the note-pad?
A doodle
Dealership directions & car information (how they tracked me down)
Law-codes to study
Christmas gift list/wish list (Tengwar)
Bible study notes (Tengwar)
Things I wanted to look up on the internet (Tengwar)
Interesting movie quotes (Tengwar)


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## Maeglin

Wow, that is an incredible story! I must say that I'm quite impressed at your ability to fool 15 expert interpreters. Well I'm glad everything is alright, its just a shame that there was never any report of this strange finding on the national news, that would have been even more exciting!


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## Noldor_returned

I think we might have to start keeping a closer eye on you...good story though. So which government agency are you going to hoodwink next...Interpol, Scotland Yard?


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## e.Blackstar

That is absolute craziness.  Funny, though.


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## Hammersmith

Noldor_returned said:


> Scotland Yard?


Scotland Yard would never be hoodwinked. They're such experts at misinformation that they claim their headquarters are hundreds of miles north from where they actually are.

But that's a brilliant story! You should get in touch with a news agency and make thousands. I very much enjoyed it.


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## Elbereth

Nice to see our government is spending our tax dollars so responsibly. And the hunt for Osama continues....


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## Arvedui

If WM hadn't banned such discussions, I would have said quite a lot about how much you allow your government to interfere with your lives. But as he indeed has banned such things from TTF, I will refrain from such comments.

Nevertheless: scary!


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## Uminya

Could always discuss it at www.projectevil.com ... don't worry, I'm not a moderator there


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## Beorn

Please definitely bring this over to PE!

- MB


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## Wonko The Sane

How did they find your notebook anyway?


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## baragund

Whoo-Hoo, it's Wonks!!! 

Another long-lost pillar of TTF returns! It's so great to see you here again. How are things going and how do you like married life? Any arguments yet over leaving the cap off the toothpaste or leaving the toilet seat up? 

Hope you take your hat and coat off, prop up your feet, pour yourself a nice hot cup of cider and stay a while...


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## Elbereth

Sorry...didn't mean to stir up political discussion...I was merely being sarcastic.


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## Urambo Tauro

It's back! The agent came by work today and dropped off the note-pad.
(Not planning any hoodwinks so far.  I think I'm being watched.)

Well, it turns out that someone at work had found it outside on the ground and left it on my boss' desk. (I had no idea; all I knew was that it was missing. I figured I would find it in my car or at home somewhere.) So my boss showed it to a friend of his (ex-FBI). As we were closing for the week-end, boss had a phone call-- "we need that note-pad!" He asked them to come Monday morning, and sure enough, someone came in (rubber gloves and all), dropped the note-pad in a plastic bag, and took off.

That night, (about 3am-ish), someone from the dealership (where I bought my car) woke to a pounding at his door! The FBI took him and questioned him. "This guy bought a car from you. Who is he?"

At this point, I still had no idea that any of this was going on. The next day, Tuesday, is when they tracked me down.


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## Maeglin

Wow, poor guy that sold you the car, being woken up at 3 am....and all for naught...how anticlimactic for him.


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## Ermundo

Wow........................................................................
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Cool but are you seriously telling the truth or is this just an amazingly coincedental blooper of nature (no offense meant)


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## Urambo Tauro

(none taken)
Yes, this actually did happen. I have the special agent's business card and a property-returned receipt that I signed when he brought my note-pad back.


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## Wonko The Sane

I don't think I should say anything really...but this is just astounding. *zips lips before she gets herself in trouble*


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## Mirelena

*ponders* I wonder if there's a Klingon fan somewhere who's had the same experience....  Why does nothing interesting like this ever happen to me? 

So. What did your boss say???


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## Urambo Tauro

We both had a good laugh about it. But, other than that, we were just blown away that it had come so far. Apparently, they were on the verge of sending out everyone they could spare (had they not found me first). This thing really had them worried. It was found at work, so all of my co-workers would have been questioned. Maybe my family and friends, too. It's a good thing they were able to trace it to me before things got even more interesting.


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## Wolfshead

Makes you look a right weirdo, though - writing in Elvish, and everyone learned about it


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## Wonko The Sane

Wolfshead said:


> Makes you look a right weirdo, though - writing in Elvish, and everyone learned about it



I dunno, it might be seen as cool. There's a girl I work with who has a tattoo in Elvish because she thought it was um...trendy.


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## Annaheru

Just great: first arabic, now tengwar. My dastardly secret organization has been using tengwar for years in our plans to take over the world- now we might have to invent our own alphabet . . .


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## Wonko The Sane

Annaheru said:


> Just great: first arabic, now tengwar. My dastardly secret organization has been using tengwar for years in our plans to take over the world- now we might have to invent our own alphabet . . .



Try Klingon.


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## Ermundo

HOLY ****


Man Urambo, life has been cruel to u lately hasen't it.

P.S I know how to read Arabic but I don't know what I'm saying when I read it. (Weird, huh)


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## GuardianRanger

It's a good thing you were not writing fiction in that notebook. Espeically some kind of drama/adventure/spy novel type of story.


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## Wolfshead

Wonko The Sane said:


> Try Klingon.


Nah, there must be more crackpots that've written suspicious notes in Klingon. They've probably already got that clocked


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## Wonko The Sane

Wolfshead said:


> Nah, there must be more crackpots that've written suspicious notes in Klingon. They've probably already got that clocked



Dwarvish! Or use the Tengwar to write in a different language. They'd know the characters, but not the language.


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## Wolfshead

Wonko The Sane said:


> Dwarvish! Or use the Tengwar to write in a different language. They'd know the characters, but not the language.


Welcome to _Wonks' Guide To Tricking The FBI And Fast-Tracking Yourself To Prison/The Loony Bin_


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## e.Blackstar

Wonko The Sane said:


> Dwarvish! Or use the Tengwar to write in a different language. They'd know the characters, but not the language.



That is a fantastic idea!


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## Wonko The Sane

Wolfshead said:


> Welcome to _Wonks' Guide To Tricking The FBI And Fast-Tracking Yourself To Prison/The Loony Bin_



Hey man, where do you think I'm posting from?

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my Halidol.


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## Sarah

Reminds me of an episode of American Dad. In this particular episode, someone is writing letters into the CIA in elvish. Of course the CIA's top codebreakers can't figure it out. The main character, Stan, walks in on his son and his friends LARPing (Live Action Role Playing) in the basement. Stan notices on one of his son's cards is in elvish. Stan says "Hey, that looks like the letter's we've been getting!" Stan's son explains that it's elvish and he and his friends translate the letters. Apparantly the guy sending in the letters is threating to blow up factories and technology, etc. to create a Middle-Earth in the here and now. They catch him at the Sci-Fi Con where the threatener is in the process of debating Star-Wars vs. LOTR. (saying things like Frodo could kick Luke's ass). Throughout this whole episode, Stan has been berating his son for being a geek, and it turns out that his geekiness saved the world. Does stan admit it? No. After they catch the guy, Stan says that he at his son are at a car show instead of the Sci-Fi Con.


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## Wonko The Sane

Sarah said:


> Reminds me of an episode of American Dad. In this particular episode, someone is writing letters into the CIA in elvish. Of course the CIA's top codebreakers can't figure it out. The main character, Stan, walks in on his son and his friends LARPing (Live Action Role Playing) in the basement. Stan notices on one of his son's cards is in elvish. Stan says "Hey, that looks like the letter's we've been getting!" Stan's son explains that it's elvish and he and his friends translate the letters. Apparantly the guy sending in the letters is threating to blow up factories and technology, etc. to create a Middle-Earth in the here and now. They catch him at the Sci-Fi Con where the threatener is in the process of debating Star-Wars vs. LOTR. (saying things like Frodo could kick Luke's ass). Throughout this whole episode, Stan has been berating his son for being a geek, and it turns out that his geekiness saved the world. Does stan admit it? No. After they catch the guy, Stan says that he at his son are at a car show instead of the Sci-Fi Con.



I haven't seen that one, but I like the one where the dad turns his back garden into a detention camp for all the other people on the street. That American Dad is seriously messed up.


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## Bethelarien

I've seen that one. Very funny.

Maybe I should stop writing in Dwarvish now. Seriously. I jot notes to myself in Dwarvish all the time. That makes me slightly nervous.

But only slightly. Ah, what the hell. If the FBI wants to come after me, let them come.


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## Ermundo

I should start watching American Dad more often. I can't believe I missed such a good episode.


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## Wonko The Sane

Bethelarien said:


> I've seen that one. Very funny.
> 
> Maybe I should stop writing in Dwarvish now. Seriously. I jot notes to myself in Dwarvish all the time. That makes me slightly nervous.
> 
> But only slightly. Ah, what the hell. If the FBI wants to come after me, let them come.




It depends on what you're writing to yourself. If it's things like "Must kill neighbours and co-workers, must kill neighbours and co-workers" then you might be in trouble.


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## Wraithguard

I leave you guys for a couple of months and look what happens... well a funny and familiar story nonetheless. I got a two hour lecture on the dangers of Dwarvish and the Black Speech. So now I take notes in Greek.

On a side not I should be back on TTF full time now.


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## AraCelebEarwen

I still can't find my own notebook, but I think it just got mixed in with everything else.  It's just lists of words and things though. Really wish I could remember where I put it..... Hadn't exactly ever put anything in there but a few notes, quotes and other things. Made it a little easer to find words that I was looking for when writing things that needed a little something more.



Wraithguard said:


> On a side not I should be back on TTF full time now.


 
*tries to figure out wether or not that needs another 'e' or if he's just trying to confuse people* 

Just as long as that sponge stays away.  Evil things they are! Tries to trip us well meaning members of the welcoming community... *pout*

=^.^=

edit------
yeah, alright, that sounded a bit cold...  It'll be good to have ya back dude. I think we still have your seat saved.


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## e.Blackstar

Wraithguard said:


> On a side not I should be back on TTF full time now.



*m'ria can't contain her excitement*


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## Bethelarien

Wonko The Sane said:


> It depends on what you're writing to yourself. If it's things like "Must kill neighbours and co-workers, must kill neighbours and co-workers" then you might be in trouble.


LOL! Unfortunately, it's nothing nearly that exciting.


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## wizard2c

Annaheru said:


> Just great: first arabic, now tengwar. My dastardly secret organization has been using tengwar for years in our plans to take over the world- now we might have to invent our own alphabet . . .



Aha! As a wizard....I heard that........."cool" tale


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## wizard2c

Wonko The Sane said:


> It depends on what you're writing to yourself. If it's things like "Must kill neighbours and co-workers, must kill neighbours and co-workers" then you might be in trouble.



That's why wizards always carry portable laptop shredders for notes of intent to.........well I shall say no more...................


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## Firawyn

I'll be darned...that's freaking awsome. I tend to fall more onto Quenyan, acctaully...I wonder if the FBI has got that one down yet!!


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## Erurainon

Urambo Tauro said:


> It turns out, the original was being held in Washington, DC, where it was being studied! Fifteen experts could not interpret the "strange writings", due to the fact that it wasn't Arabic, nor was it Albanian, nor Russian....



Was it REALLY in Wash, or are you making it up so it looks cooler?
http://www.hjo3.net/orly/gal1/orly_rock.jpg


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## Urambo Tauro

Well, the agent told me it was sent there; I didn't have any reason to doubt him.

I'm a bit surprised that they were willing to wait _two days_ before they could get the note-pad. 
They called on Saturday, then waited until Monday to get it. After that, they had only a few hours of studying it before they sent it to WDC.

If it were me, I might have held on to it longer to try to figure it out. After all, I was only using the Tengwar _alphabet_. The lanuage _itself_ was English, not Quenya or Sindarin. If you were very good at cryptograms, you could figure it out.


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## Jesse

That is one cool story!


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## Rosalee LuAnn

I dont post much around here, especially not anymore, but when I saw the title of this thread I was curious. I laughed out loud--my family all looked at me strangely, but they're pretty much used to it by now. I often randomly burst out laughing when reading things--usually books, of course.  

(At the end of RotK... "Do you think you killed him with that apple, Sam?"... it makes me laugh so hard every time... at least, I THINK thats what he said... hmmm. Time for a re-reading... hooray!  

Wait, I don't have time for that.  

I don't even have time for THIS. I'm supposed to be doing homework. Thats depressing.)


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## Urambo Tauro

Well, it's been a year.
I've managed to keep my nose out of trouble since then. That is, I haven't _lost_ anything. But I still write Tengwar a lot. I can fluently write it, but I still have to read it letter by letter. Or, tengwa by tengwa.


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## Thorin

That story is just hilarious!

We have a spy who flummoxed the FBI on our very own forum!


Way to go!

Let this be a warning for all those who feel the need to write in Elvish or Klingon!


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## Starflower

A little off topic.. but I work for a translation company, that is we provide translations in various languages for public organisations (police, healthservice etc). Once I got a request to translate a suspicious blogpost in a language noone ever heard of before... turns out to be Klingon. And I tell the police officer, sorry, it's in Klingon, no can do. And the officer asks 'where do they speak Klingon then so I can get it done'


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## Urambo Tauro

That's the fun thing about invented languages (or alphabets): their obscurity.

How did you recognize it as Klingon? And did you tell him where they speak it?


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## Starflower

the wonderful world of the Internet... lol but also there's a Star Trek geek person at the office. 

Well, I had to let the poor officer down gently and tell him 'You do realize sir that this is an _invented language_, i.e. noone speaks it 

Oh, to imagine the country's security is in the hands of these people...


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## Firawyn

Starflower said:


> Well, I had to let the poor officer down gently and tell him 'You do realize sir that this is an _invented language_, i.e. noone speaks it



Some people speak it!  The Geeks.

That reminds me of a book quote: the story was about these kids who go to a summer program for people who wanted to do homework all summer. The part that I was thinking about was one character mentioned something about only geeks would to 'that', and the other character replies - "This is f*cking geek HQ you know!" 

I would say the same about TTF, actually.


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## Urambo Tauro

Ten years.

It's been one decade since that day. Ain't it funny how time flies? I realize that I haven't been an active member on this forum for some time. Life happens, I guess. Anyway, I was going through some old boxes the other day and found my old notepad, and the old FBI receipt. It got stained at some point, but is still legible.







After my chat with the FBI, I immediately started using a new one, leaving this original unaltered as a souvenir. Here are a couple of sample pages. Instead of translating them for you, I'll just post the images as a fun puzzle for anyone who's interested.






During the time that I was using this pad for notes, I was in the middle of re-reading The Hobbit. There are some things that Tolkien mentions in passing that caught my eye, and I would jot down the page number and a quick note for later research. The page on the left is a good example of this. The page on the right is not Tolkien-related. It is a movie quote that I liked, and felt compelled to write down.

_(Wow; has it really been seven years since my last post? I even remembered my login password!)_


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