# Unusual magical weapon thread



## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 19, 2002)

I am essentially bored, I figured we needed to think of strange magical weapons.

1) enchanted toothpick
2)Anti-matter salad tosser
3) Potato pealer ofdeath


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## Ragnarok (Jan 19, 2002)

A Fully Automatic Scope IR Night Vision Voice Activated Fece-Throwing Monkeybot.

What's a monkeybot you ask? Well, it's not quite a monkey, and not quite a robot. To answer your question, I don't know.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 19, 2002)

the nuclear forkbot


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## Talierin (Jan 19, 2002)

Let's see, some wacky weapons from the brains of Aerin, Morwen, and I:

The Wedgie Machine
The New and Improved Asthamatic 2000 (we're not too sure what this one does)
The Evil Flying Blenders
The Stove of Death!!!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 19, 2002)

the flesh- digging spoon of evil albino bunny guts
the sorry game of doom
The flesh eating corpse (that is serious and i know it wasn't mine)


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## Beorn (Jan 19, 2002)

The Wrath of the Parakeet!
Tal's Stick of Moderation
The Evil Perch (If you want the whole, halfway interesting story, PM me).
Shrieking birds
The One Eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater!
The clock that only counts down to 1 (ya know the clock on the bomb that stops at one).


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## Eomer Dinmention (Jan 20, 2002)

Yeah how bout this 

A eye scanned, Finger Scanned, Voice activation, key padlocked nuclear gun that shoots a letter saying that your dead YEAH BEAT THAT


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## Aerin (Jan 20, 2002)

Hey, The New and Improved Asthmatic 2001 is my secret weapon!


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## Eomer Dinmention (Jan 20, 2002)

Yeah i got another one 
its called the Milange 

Its a device that shoots out cans of liquid that contains Orange Juice and Milk Lol EEEWWwwwwww


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## Beorn (Jan 20, 2002)

Cir's stereo, and a CD that has one track playing :



> Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!


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## Rian (Jan 20, 2002)

Mornings are no longer safe with:

The Coffee Pot of Death
The Flying Evil Waffle Iron
Killer McMuffins from Outer Space


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 20, 2002)

Tiny pickle spoon
short pink hobgoblins
suffocating lingere


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## Talierin (Jan 20, 2002)

The Attack Dove!!!
The Stick That Goes 'Twang'


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## Rushlight (Jan 20, 2002)

I am never bored by visiting this site! You guys are just too much fun. So far my favorite is "suffocating lingerie"......only because I have suffered underwear that binds and is uncomfortable all day. Ewww! Nothing worse than a bad bra.

Rushlight


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## Aerin (Jan 20, 2002)

Yes, bad bras are evil... 

How about...
The Alarm Clock of Doom
The Strangling Sheets
The Shoe-That-Somehow-You-Always-Stub-Your-Toe-On
The Thing-That-Goes-Crash-In-The-Night

Hm, I'm having too much fun here!!


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## Talierin (Jan 20, 2002)

AND HERE IT IS!!!!! THE WORST WEAPON OF ALL!!!!! DUM-DUM-DUM!!!!

The Chia Dog Of Dread!!!


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## Eomer Dinmention (Jan 20, 2002)

i got another one

Smelly sock shooter

Condensed Milk with Orange, Apple, Pineapple and Tomato juice lol shooter


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## Beorn (Jan 20, 2002)

The Computer!!!!!!!!!

The automatic, hypothetic, antibiotic, erratic, spasmatic, electronic, psyonic, meiotic, mitotic, erotic lawnmower...


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 20, 2002)

I know rushlight like this one time...I'll stop.

the non-existent nothingness


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## Rushlight (Jan 20, 2002)

Does everyone know what a Chia Pet is? After a discussion in another thread about the proper definition of "pants" (trousers vs. underwear) I'm just curious.

But "non existent nothingness".........pretty heavy duty stuff there, Dark Queen of Mordor. 

Rushlight


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 20, 2002)

yeah...i think i gave someone a present like that,oh well

the lethal paper cut


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## daisy (Jan 20, 2002)

Yes, I am lucky enough to know about chia pets - I even owned one. Someone, somewhere is now a billionaire....

What about a sick baby cloth poo diaper sitting under a pile of clean laundry with a sock stuck in it???? LETHAL.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 20, 2002)

I hate to seem bothersome but were gettin slightly off topic...
the perilous corridor of qutips


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## Rushlight (Jan 20, 2002)

.......sick baby poo diapers. Ewww, Daisy, you are truly unleasing the worst of the worst. Combine that with the Dark Queen's lethal paper cut......yikes. 

Rushlight


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## Beorn (Jan 20, 2002)

The kernel of popcorn of the land of the evil kernel of popcorn


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## Eomer Dinmention (Jan 21, 2002)

*Eomer runs through the hall "i got one i got one i finally thinked of one, its called the GUN it SHOOTs these BULLETS which are really deadly, man i am so smart lol"


Nah i got one its called Bookster 

It shoots Hard Leather LOTR Books lol cool


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## Kit Baggins (Jan 21, 2002)

Beware the Evil Custard! 
It knows everything  ... 

LOL, sorry, that's a joke from the stories I've written  !

~Kit


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## tookish-girl (Jan 21, 2002)

A friend of mine wrote a play with Evil Cheerleaders in it, so you could have Evil Cheerleading pom-poms!

Oh and the Cheesegrater of Destruction, never get on with cheesegraters.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 21, 2002)

The Pom-poms of death ,NOOOO!


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## Rushlight (Jan 21, 2002)

Wait, wait!!! I got it!!!

THE HORROR OF THE EVER EXPANDING WAISTLINE!!

or......how about killer peanut butter so thick it glues your tongue to the roof of your mouth permanently? (that might solve the expanding waistline problem)


Rushlight


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## Talierin (Jan 21, 2002)

The Killer Peanut Butter is caused by a nasty trick of the Evil Voodoo Peanuts. You must eat PB with Jelly to stop that.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 21, 2002)

The face of Bashiki


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## Rushlight (Jan 21, 2002)

......peanut butter and jelly is also referred to "choke and slide" where I come from.

Rushlight
big fan of choke and slide sandwiches, thus, the horror of the expanding waistline.......


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## Kuduk (Jan 21, 2002)

Some items to outfit the Dark Queen's office (from her own catalog)

The Pen of Purple Poison Peril
The Telephone of Telepathic Terror
The Desk of Doomed Desperation
The Fax Machine of Frantic Fear
The Water Cooler of Wasted Workers
The Paperweight of Ponderous Plots


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## Rosie Cotton (Jan 21, 2002)

The Sock Eating Dryer of Doom
The Invisable Insect (heard, but not seen)
The Dog That Can't Stop Barking (and lives at my house)


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## Talierin (Jan 21, 2002)

The Pillsbury Dough Boy-No matter how many times or how hard you poke him in the stomach, he still giggles. Isn't that scary?


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## Lorien (Jan 22, 2002)

One extremely large blown up poster of ozzy osbourne/Marilyn manson/alice cooper all together.....heheheh.....beat that....


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## Rushlight (Jan 22, 2002)

Ok, how about an extremely huge poster of ozzy ozborne, marilyn manson, alice cooper AND the Pillsbury doughboy????

Rushlight


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## TulKas Astaldo (Jan 22, 2002)

The um... Holy Grenades of Death or something... Dunno. Anybody used to chat on the Utopia forums?


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 22, 2002)

How do you guys know my office interrior!


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## Kuduk (Jan 22, 2002)

> How do you guys know my office interrior!



Well, Your Highness should remember to shut down her Palantir before she leaves for the day! (Or at least cover it with a cloth so no one can peek in.)


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 23, 2002)

Curses dammit! 

I'll have to rember to do that!


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## Gary Gamgee (Jan 23, 2002)

The toliet paper of Mordor

One roll to rule them all


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## Valar (Jan 23, 2002)

The papery paper of paper cut doom!
The fire to destroy all tolkiens work! NOOOOOOOOOOO
A sword.............Woops already been done


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## Gary Gamgee (Jan 23, 2002)

Hmm a toliet in a french camping site to you


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 23, 2002)

You people are evil, i don't insult your homelands ever! 
And since i leave my plantiri uncovered, what else can you see prefribly in my room, and if you've seen my chambers do you like the color of the walls


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## Kuduk (Jan 24, 2002)

A little hard to tell with all those posters of Manson and the Doughboy but I really like the 'black on black' motif!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 24, 2002)

that's a lie! i'm not gothic at all! I have none of those on my wall.my wall's are a deep burgendy, HA your wrong


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## Kuduk (Jan 24, 2002)

Well, I must apologize then, Your Highness. All that soot from Orodruin must have clouded my vision. But I suppose 'burgandy on burgandy' is just as nice, if not better. 

It must be rough, being a non-goth in Mordor!

Oh, here's another item for the Mordor catalog:
the Lampshade of Laughing Lunacy


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 24, 2002)

not that hard..really it's more pleasant than most think.By the by, I do have a palace in rhun that isn't as, what was the word you used,"Gothic."


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## Beorn (Jan 24, 2002)

Kuduk, you use "gothic" as a stereotype. Gothic, as closest to your use of it means, "Of or relating to a style of fiction that emphasizes the grotesque, mysterious, and desolate."

Being gothic doesn't mean that black is used a lot.


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## Kuduk (Jan 24, 2002)

Ah, my dear Mr. B! Thank you for that most enlightening lesson. But I ask you and Her Highness to tell me when did I ever actually use the word 'gothic?' In fact, I didn't mean to refer to anything 'gothic' at all during my poor attempt to describe Her Highness' walls as being 'black on black.' The closest I came to saying 'gothic' is with the term, 'non-goth,' and in this instance I was simply referring (and deferring) to Her Highness's own initial usage of the word in her own vehement denial that she was 'not gothic.' If I offended anyone who consider themselves 'gothic' or who may like 'the grotesque, mysterious, and desolate' or who may be descended from Goths or who just like black as a favorite color, I sincerely apologize.

Now, if you'll please excuse me, Mr. B. I've just received a press release which may interest Her Highness, especially if her Palace of Rhun needs more furnishment...

PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENT:

The Numenorean Technology Group, the number one name in Middle-Earth communication devices, is pleased to announce the arrival of the Palantir 2002, the first all-weather, self-cleaning seeing stone!

Recently featured on the cover of the Gondorian Times, the Palantir 2002 is not only the latest model of that venerable brand but also the first model to take full advantage of our recently restored partnership with the highly talented artists at Eregion Associates. 

In response to our dear customers' feedback (thank you, Mr. S!), we have added several new features including an all newly-designed harder-than-diamond fireproof outer shell and new security devices to foil potential 'stone-jackers.'

To celebrate this momentous event, NTG is offering, for a limited time only, a choice of either free caller ID or free caller ID blocking for a period of up to one year (local laws and restrictions may apply).

In addition, new customers will also receive with each purchase a beautiful, deluxe carrying case made of the finest Umbarian leather (while supplies last).

The Palantir 2002 is a must acquisition for the ambitious, upwardly mobile Middle Earth executive. If you want to have it all, you gotta see it all!

So hurry to your nearest dealer and place your order now for the Palantir 2002*!


(*Not compatible with 95, 98, 2K, Linux or any other non-NTG apparatus)


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 26, 2002)

so i might've used the word goth, you did sort of imply the term goth by saying "black on black" and mentioning disgusting artists like Manson.


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## Beorn (Jan 26, 2002)

I informed you because you implied that persons living in Mordor would be Gothic. I also should have criticized Tar too, but I felt your offense of classifying an area as populated with Goths was worse than Tar's saying that she is not Gothic.

Nice comment about Windows 95, 98, 2K, and Linux...


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 26, 2002)

I always need criticsizim! 

The letter opener of injustice


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## Kuduk (Jan 27, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Tar-Ancalime _
> *so i might've used the word goth, you did sort of imply the term goth by saying "black on black" and mentioning disgusting artists like Manson. *



Did I? I didn't realize that. I was just drawing from previous posts (Manson was mentioned in one as well as the Pillsbury Doughboy. By including the Doughboy, does that mean I was implying you were a baker?). Plus I was just imagining that a Dark Tower-like palace in Mordor near a volcano would probably have a lot of soot on its walls. Hence, 'black-on-black.' Also, it was meant to be sardonic (Can anyone tell me what black on black looks like and how it would be different from just black? It's kinda like saying the control knob goes to 11 instead of 10 (ref. Spinal Tap)).



> _Originally posted by Mike B _
> *I informed you because you implied that persons living in Mordor would be Gothic. I also should have criticized Tar too, but I felt your offense of classifying an area as populated with Goths was worse than Tar's saying that she is not Gothic. *



Again, I'm not sure how my comment would relate to Mordorian demography. I was needling (in gentle fashion, hopefully) Her Highness for sounding so defensive in her denial of being gothic. In fact, I was quite surprised to see her use the term which never occurred to me until it came up. 

And given both of your responses, it is apparent that the term 'Gothic' carries a lot of baggage for you both. Has it really become so derogatory now? Obviously it has several meanings and connotations, but as applied to contemporary popular culture, I always thought it was meant to be a pithy descriptive of style like Punk rock, trance, hip hop, etc., but otherwise neutral in its judgement of good or bad. From your postings, it seems that Goth and Gothic are now used to slam people, which is too bad. Yankee was originally meant to be a derogatory term for Americans (and oftentimes it is still used that way), but I would submit that most Americans wouldn't be too miffed to hear the word (unless, of course, you're a Red Sox fan).

Mike, in your very cathartic Pet Peeve thread I mentioned that there often seemed to be a lot of over- and mis-interpreting of people's words on this Board. I think that's the case here. While I really don't think any offense was intended by anyone to anyone, if you and Tar have somehow taken offense (which indeed it seems you have), I will (once again) say, I sincerely apologize.

Oh, and um...anyone in need of a used palantir?


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## Uminya (Jan 27, 2002)

I agree. Gothic archtecture is quite lovely. I listen to those so called 'freaks' but my room is not decorated in black...rather, a large portion of one wall is covered by an American flag and the others are decorated with WWII pictures...Don't stereotype people by their tastes in color, music, or whatnot.

The Uber-Evil Spork of Fastidiousness


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 30, 2002)

it is near some volcanoes but i redecorated (never hire an orcen decorater). And I aggree I love gothic archetecture as well.


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## Kuduk (Jan 30, 2002)

*Speaking of gothic architecture....*

The Supersonic Transporting Toilet of Flying Buttresses


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 31, 2002)

coffers of maddnes
note: when going on a latin trip to search for arcitecture,you never look at a building the same way again


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## Eomer Dinmention (Feb 2, 2002)

The rock 

Its a big rock that only strong humans can carry. its a devise where you ask them to carry it and as they do they break their back


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## Tar-Ancalime (Feb 2, 2002)

scientific, eomer !


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## Eomer Dinmention (Feb 3, 2002)

Mines a good one i like it.

I got a new one.

ITs called THE WHOLE.

Its a gun that shoots wholes in the ground lol


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## Adrastea (Feb 3, 2002)

I got one... IT is The Killer Brick Telephone..and when you answer it a...somehow..A brick comes hurtling out of the phone and hits you on the head..ok now I think this is the worst one yet


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## Eomer Dinmention (Feb 3, 2002)

Its called DA BLACK KILLER

ITs a rubber band that shoots out black permanent markers that draw insult on your face


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## Adrastea (Feb 3, 2002)

I just got write this...

Tal And Aerin and a Mac...NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Now that will kill anyone.....


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## Eomer Dinmention (Feb 3, 2002)

CD frisby. One of those things that Xena has.


The Walkman of Death. 
Its a walkman. When you put in the ear phones in your ears a finger comes out and gives you a wet willy lol


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## Tar-Ancalime (Feb 3, 2002)

The quills of death and utter destruction


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## Beorn (Feb 3, 2002)

(Beorn whispers to Chippy: only Tal uses a Mac...)


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## Valar (Feb 3, 2002)

The really embarresingly HUGE mobile phone, that gets you laughed out of wherever you go.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Feb 3, 2002)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!not the mobile phone


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## Adrastea (Feb 5, 2002)

opps...sorry Aeirn.. (Thanks Mike)


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## Tar-Ancalime (Feb 10, 2002)

The Nail file of antioch(or the pin in the holy hand grenade)


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## Uminya (Feb 11, 2002)

Perfectly Normal Beast Boullion...

A tangy taste to tantalize terrestrial tongues!


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## Eomer Dinmention (Feb 11, 2002)

An opera singer lol hahah


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## Gary Gamgee (Feb 11, 2002)

A chair that makes u sit down for too long giving incredible pain in the small of ur back.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Feb 11, 2002)

You people have so big of imaginations.


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## Nimawae's hope (Feb 11, 2002)

How about this:
1) The bloodthirsty white rabbit (rips heads off)

2) The evil kitchen butter knife (tries to stab your vegetables, giving them very bad bruises)

3) Carrot-top from those stupid long-distance commercials (makes you go screaming into the darkness) 



Avoid these like the Plague, and don't lose your head! (Hey! there's something else to avoid! The Plague! AHHH!!! I'm turning purple and pussy!!!!)


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## Gary Gamgee (Feb 11, 2002)

A bus that never stops.


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## Uminya (Feb 13, 2002)

The Talisman of Somewhat-Decent Grammar!

Makes you at least attempt to speel words right and place them in right order the.


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## Eomer Dinmention (Feb 13, 2002)

THE STUCKER

Its a device that sucks you up and pushes whole body into a beer can lol


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## Tar-Ancalime (Feb 13, 2002)

*laughs uncontrolablly)

the(du,da,dum)orange peeler!


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## Eomer Dinmention (Feb 14, 2002)

were you laughing at mine Tar


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## Nimawae's hope (Feb 14, 2002)

Maybe she's laughing because she is WAY too tired!! Kinda like ME!!! 

How about the great Procrastinator Controller! You know, that's the thing that makes you put off writing papers until the night before its due. And then you're never able to get to bed that night, because by the time your done, its time to go to school!!!

Sorry!! I am WAY out of it today. In fact I'm not sure that I am making any sense. Who here is running on pure adrenoline!! MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Mar 31, 2002)

and this one...This is the best thread! Well it ranks up there..newayz.

I've had alot of time to think of weapons that are stoopid(I spelled that wrong on purpose):

those annoying tights you where to easter sunday church that are way, way to short for you. (in other words)The tights that are way too short


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## Eomer Dinmention (Mar 31, 2002)

yes this was a really good thread.

Too bad no one has posted in this since your gone Tar.
Everything was boring without you. 

I tried to make clones of you blowing up orcs but it wasn't the same lol jk

The PJ shooter.

Its a gun that shoots mini PJs at ya lol


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## Tar-Ancalime (Mar 31, 2002)

Yes, Dengen was glad to have me back(duh), kemmy, boern, you, Tal, although I think elessar was allittle bit mad that reoko came back with me.

The White out...makes your thoughts dissapper...note this is a common practice in mordorian tortchur chambers


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## Nimawae's hope (Apr 1, 2002)

YAY!!!! SOMEBODY IS DIGGING UP ANCIENT THREADS!!!! ENCORE!!! ENCORE!!!!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 1, 2002)

I dug it up...I needed something to relate to


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## Eomer Dinmention (Apr 1, 2002)

A machine of knowledge

Its a machine that fills your brain with knowledge. It keeps on feeding your brain until your brain blows up.


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## Beorn (Apr 1, 2002)

That one person that always comes in and ruins your plans...


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 1, 2002)

Those are all so good!How can I compare???

a Coconutne day the shall replace the uses of strong horses in movies forever!


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## Nimawae's hope (Apr 2, 2002)

Ah yes!! The limbless warrior who threatens to bite your knees off...very dangerous you know.....


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 2, 2002)

hahahahahahahahhahahaha!
The witch with the fake nose who weighs the same as a duck


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## Rangerdave (Apr 2, 2002)

Captain we have a negative colossal space wedgie off the starboard bow.

Red alert
Sheilds up


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 3, 2002)

*disgruntled look*
you do that!

The weggie of eternal peril

for those of chastity: the ladies of the castle antrax


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## Nimawae's hope (Apr 3, 2002)

*Face turns red from laughing so hard*

OOOOOOO!!! GOOD ONES!!!

The cute little blood-thirsty white rabbit.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 3, 2002)

hahahahah!

The joke of death: It's soo funny they die when they hear it


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## Eomer Dinmention (Apr 6, 2002)

The Scratchmaphone.

Its a machine that makes a black board. It takes out a fake hand with long nails. It then scratches the black borad for ever until your die of pain.






AAAh i hate when people scratch the Blackboard.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 7, 2002)

The bed decorations of doom:NOte they are not nice to sit on during earthquakes


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

Ooh, ooh ooh!
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm,
Explosive comb?? nah, I'm no good at this!!
 
Um, homing bees! (as in other than missiles, or pigeons!)
HOMING BEES OF DEATH!!
Dandelions! Um, slight change...
Alergen releasing dandelions!! (said in a really fake chinese accent)*I WILL RELEASE THE POWER OF A THOUSAND DANDELIONS!*
teehee, really stoopid, I know!!


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

The dandelions make anyone sneeze violently and swell up if they have not had the remedy before-hand! YUH!!
ANybody wanna buy some dandelions???


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## Gary Gamgee (Apr 7, 2002)

the mouse mat of jam


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 7, 2002)

right...

The forbidden word: IT(screams)


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

THE PENCIL OF PERIL!!
It's reeeeeeeeeeeaaaly sharp!
-so what elvish?
But, its reeely reeeeeeeeely reeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllyy sharp!!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 7, 2002)

was that used already???


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

What, my pencil?? Aww, I thought I was being original!!
No, the forbidden word should be.....
Y*Y! *gasp!*
No, don't do it! YAY! *shreek! gasp!**faints...*


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 7, 2002)

a couple pages back...It think theyy had something on items for office wear in the dark queens catolog


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

Only 34 more posts, i'm just posting this to make up posts...
um, the Mouldy Cheese!...
The Scorching saddle! (a saddle that waits for a stranger to get on it then.....*flame*...barbecue! Not the horse, mind, just the rider... anti horse-theft device)

35 posts to post on the forum...
35 posts to post!!
If one of those posts should happen to get posted...
34 posts to post on the forum!

Phew!! STill SOOOO MANYYY!!!


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

Aww, man!! It's just something my friend would say, that's why I put it....
No more ideas from me!
Ohh, one more..
REEAAALLLY hot thai curry!! Oh, no, that's not a weapon, got that one in the fridge... bummer!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 7, 2002)

that's thrilling!


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

no, serously, it's hot! I wasn't allowed any cos they said it's burn my mouth out.... I didn't have supper.


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 7, 2002)

j/k


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

Yuh, I know, it's just fun to play offended!


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

Wouldn't it be fun to have a forum chatsite?? Then all this useless chat could go there and it would be a whole lot faster!!
Anyway, back to the topic..
Food that swells in your stomach and gives you indigestion! um, no.
Rabid mice.
Barney the Purple dinosaur!! Oops, that one exists...eek!


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## elvish-queen (Apr 7, 2002)

30 more posts!! 29 now anyway... Talk to me! I could be a senior member before tomorrow (don't know about you, here it's 7 30 pm)
I'm going to the beach tomorrow!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 7, 2002)

hi...since u r soo egear!


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## Nimawae's hope (Apr 8, 2002)

The Gift of Gab: What your best friend has to torture you with when you have WAY too much homework to do....AAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! NO LET ME GO......MUST FINISH PAPER!!!!!


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## Beorn (Apr 8, 2002)

Your English teacher!!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 8, 2002)

your math teaccher who hands out refferals like candy


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## elvish-queen (Apr 12, 2002)

WARNING-ADDICTIVE!!!
FOOD: of all fattening types eg chocolate!
This is probably already mentioned, but hey, it's a BIG bummer when you're trying to get down to 38/37kgs!! (I weigh 40, so it isn't such a huge jump... I weighed 46 last year November, and then the dietician told me to put on weight... RIGHT!!) But I'm sure you didn't need to know that!


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## Elfarmari (Apr 12, 2002)

(do pets count?)
The Giant Wombat (no chocolate cookie is safe from him!!)

The Purple Petrifying Penguin (can turn anything into disgusting purple gelatin)


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 12, 2002)

the.........the......the....dot!


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## Aerin (Apr 14, 2002)

The infamous Stick of Beating - to be used on wayward sisters and dads, but not mums!


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## Eomer Dinmention (Apr 14, 2002)

THee Zombie Machine.

Its a huge machine that sucks up your brain. It then controls you to run into poles until you die lol


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## Ice Man (Apr 22, 2002)

A perfect magical item would be a magical feather pen, it would not need to be inked and it would only write over the places you wanted it to, so then you wouldn't need to worry about it getting your fingers and clothes dirty.


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## Talierin (Apr 22, 2002)

My personal army: Giant Military Squirrels


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## Tar-Ancalime (Apr 22, 2002)

REally tal!

the nonexistent weapon...so deadly it can't even hurt you!


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## Nimawae's hope (Apr 23, 2002)

Giant Military Squirrels? Hmmmm....I think it fits you Tal!


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## Talierin (Apr 23, 2002)

*nods* Yes yes, me likes squirrels!


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## Nimawae's hope (Apr 23, 2002)

You likes the giant squirrels and me likes giant beavers!!!! We fit don't ya think!  


Greatest weapon of all time: The Tickle Stick


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## Wonko The Sane (Jan 13, 2003)

Mind control toothpaste!

(From Elgee's ridiculour story!)


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 13, 2003)

Yay! GO wonks! you ressurected this! Yay!

OMG! OMG!

The suffocating toga


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## Mablung (Jan 13, 2003)

The almighty "Toilet Brush of Warts"


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 13, 2003)

the outstandingly briliantly white usage of colurfuller misspelled adjetives!


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## Aerin (Jan 14, 2003)

Wowzers, I had forgotten this thread even existed...

Let's see:

Titanium Alloyed Spork (My personal weapon.. not to mention favourite )
Hell Kitty
Hairbrush of Death
Oscillating Fork of Peril
Tae-Kwan-Do-Dos of Doom (Doom on you, doom on you, doom on you... )

Enough of the workings of my weird mind... *evil laughter is heard*


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## Mablung (Jan 14, 2003)

Plasma Breath Mints
Electric Marmowagon


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 14, 2003)

the man- eating plant!


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## Wonko The Sane (Jan 15, 2003)

The Titanium Alloy Kitty

Magic Throwing Frosted Flakes

Chinese Fighting Muffins


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## elvish-queen (Jan 15, 2003)

Wow! When was the last time I saw this thread???

Um... the... Grasshopper of power!
(sorry, that one's lame, it's just this thing my bro says..... *in chinese accent* "You must have patience, young grasshoppa!". Very lame, I kno)


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## Wonko The Sane (Jan 16, 2003)

The Horseshoe Nail of Doom.
*insert forboding music here*


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## Mablung (Jan 16, 2003)

Neonticketotron
Ear Wax Catapult


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## Wonko The Sane (Jan 16, 2003)

Finger Paints of Destruction


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 16, 2003)

the underwear gnomes!


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## Wonko The Sane (Jan 16, 2003)

The Corset of Extreme Laziness


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## Éomond (Jan 20, 2003)

The Laffing Spork, one hit will make you laff to death

The Crying Foon, one hit will make you cry to death!


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## Wonko The Sane (Jan 21, 2003)

A new superhero called simply:

Blender Man!


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 21, 2003)

the middle finger

the other guy


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## Éomond (Jan 21, 2003)

Pro Wrist Slashing Knifes

Super Sonic Arrows


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## BlackCaptain (Jan 25, 2003)

Your voice:

Nee! Nee!
I shall taunt you a second time!
Shrubery!


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## MrFrodo (Jan 25, 2003)

Th one and only .........


Socko of Terrible Pain.......it doesnt kill you but makes you wear it...........No NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Battery of super energy............a zap and you'll jusy keep running


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## Tar-Ancalime (Jan 25, 2003)

Boredom!


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## Rangerdave (Jan 25, 2003)

Foolish mortals.

Tremble before the awsome power of the........





HAMSTER DANCE GRENADE

Muwahahahahahahaha



_R_D


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## Wonko The Sane (Jan 29, 2003)

Distance.

The evil that is slowly killing me.


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## Éomond (Jan 31, 2003)

The Holy Hand Grenade! 

Super-Sharp-Throwing-Paper


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## Wonko The Sane (Feb 3, 2003)

Muffins.


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## Ecthelion (Feb 3, 2003)

Behold the almightiest weapon that can bring even the strongest man to his knees...........................................................













A full baby diaper!!!!!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!


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## Wonko The Sane (Feb 4, 2003)

Bran.


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## Aulë (Feb 4, 2003)

The 32 Psycho Hypnotic Badgers of the Apocolypse!!!!


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## Wonko The Sane (Feb 4, 2003)

Snaga's blue jeans.

They're killer! I mean it!


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## Éomond (Feb 8, 2003)

Annoyance.

Sick Stick


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## Wonko The Sane (Feb 9, 2003)

Pirranha Tadpoles


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## Aulë (Feb 9, 2003)

Wonko's Cooking


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## Wonko The Sane (Feb 9, 2003)

It's true!! I don't know how to cook things.

But it's not that I do it badly....just that I don't know how.

When I do sit down and concentrate and work from a recipe my food ALWAYS turns out killer!

And I make GREAT Macaroni and Cheese from scratch! No Kraft for me! 

Unusual Magical Weapon: Snaga's Razor. It's wicked!


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## MacAddict (Feb 11, 2003)

My unsual weapons are each of my 10 Boomer-Books. (those of you who have played Ty The Tasmanian Tiger feel free to laugh your head off)Boomer-Book, Flamer-Book, Frosty-Book, Zappy-Book, Zoomer-Book, Multi-Book, Infra-Book, Mega-Book, KaBoomer-Book and Chrono-Book.


~MacAddict


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## Wonko The Sane (Feb 11, 2003)

Snoop Dogg's hair


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## e.Blackstar (Sep 20, 2005)

*recklessly issues a *bump**  

Ha! This is a wonderful thread!

I'm especially a fan of the 'Ni!' CD, and "The 32 Psycho Hypnotic Badgers of the Apocolypse!!!!"


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## Daranavo (Sep 29, 2005)

My friend has several old console games and he collects them. One of his prized possessions is the old Nintendo Dragon Warrior 4 game. I have watched him play this many times. Well, one of the main characters in the game is a Merchant (I forget his name). Well, during the last big fight against the big boss, all of his guys are getting creamed. Well, he selects the merchant to use and fight with. This merchant does not possess raw fighting power, he does however possess some unique abilities. He can trip and cause a critical wound, or he calls out in a time of need and 100 merchants come out of the wood work to attack. He also fumbles his sword and can cause a critical wound. The merchant ended up killing the beast and winning the game for him. It was quite funny to watch.


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