# The Prologue for adventure



## Ol'gaffer (Aug 4, 2004)

Wrote this a while back, I found it again and polished it up a bit. If people like it, I might write more.

Prologue 

When in may, long ago. When the normal life within civilization held no more interest to me, I found myself often dreaming of high mountain tops, deep and lush forests with streams that traveled through them from the roots of the mountains to the wide open sea. With little to call home, I gathered my things, which were few at that time, and decided to explore the unexplored. 

I left my home town of Surrey, a small town in the more northern parts of England, at a late night in June. The sparrows nested and chirped their melody of the night as I strolled out of the town into the open country road. The sky was clear, without a shred of cloud to be seen for miles, and I followed the big dipper, not caring where following it would lead. My worries were few, and mainly consisted of bandits and animals, I cared not for food as I had the required skills to hunt and fish. What little time I had spent with my family in my youth, I had learned as much as I could from my late father, talents that I knew would one day be required.

I knew the local environment well, having trotted in the forests many a time in my youth, and could easily find my way through the forests and hills toward the larger plains far to the south. While not knowing exactly where to go, and for how long. I found my path taking me as far south as London, I decided to find a traders vessel to take me away from my homeland. 

While my travel down south was uneventful, with nothing more occurring than a case of sore feet, I arrived in late July to the bustling port town of London. For a person from such a small town as mine, London was a sight which I stared at in awe for a long time. The town was full of life, merchants from distant lands sold items I had never seen before, taverns where full of life, as people marched in, and mainly, were dragged out. Women wore the latest of fashions, which drew the attention of the sailors, having spent long times at sea, very well. 

I found my way from through the alleys and crowded streets, to the open harbor, where numerous ships had been docked. Massive galleons with as many masts as four to a ship, swayed to and fro in the calm harbor waters. Crew members unloaded cargo and carried new on board, all under the dutiful eyes of the captains. One ship especially took my eye. A galleon as well, this one sported a beautiful woman in it’s front hull, “The White Squall” it’s plaque read. 

I seeked out the captain of the ship, he was a tall man, of great stature and build. With short brown beard and hair, his left eye covered with a patch and a smoke that never seemed to go out. His voice was growling and as low as if it was spoken through a barrel. His walk was steady, with a slight limp in his right leg, which oddly did not affect his formidable posture at all. 

The captain of the White Squall, a man called Carlton Hawkings, was my first real encounter of men at my voyages, which had only just begun. He allowed me to board his ship, they were to break port for Europe the next morning, “when the winds are right” he said. He showed me to my cabin, a privilege, he let me understand, which is rarely handed to normal landlubbers like myself. That night, I opened my journals to begin a record of my journeys, and what journeys they were to be. 

The next morning, the cold, but gentle morning wind blew east. The anchor was hoisted and the sails raised, as the White Squall slowly at first, then picking up it’s speed, led us out of the London harbour, and out to the great open sea. 





Commenting and critizism is most welcome.


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## greypilgrim (Aug 4, 2004)

You walked all the way to London and hooked up with a pirate. Not a bad start....


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## Kelonus (Aug 16, 2004)

I enjoyed reading it. It is a start to something that can be good. If you plan on writing more for it, don't step away from the form of it, if you get my meaning.


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## HLGStrider (Aug 17, 2004)

Well, I would suggest you let us know more of what is happening and when and with whom. It happens too fast. 


My assumption right away is that the character is a human male somewhere around nineteen. . .but this is never stated. It could be a female. They could be older. We don't know much at all about them. 

I also don't know when it happens. Some of the words suggest an older time, but some of the tone suggests a younger time. This could be anywhere between 1500 and 1900 as far as I know. 

I also think we need to get more into the lust for adventure. Is it really boring at home? The character has a late father. Is his mother also dead? No siblings? No friends? No one behind who will miss him? Does he ever plan to return home? If so after what? If not, where does he plan to go?

All of this would make the piece much richer.


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## Kelonus (Aug 17, 2004)

That is true. Why didn't I catch on to that??


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## greypilgrim (Aug 17, 2004)

HLGStrider said:


> My assumption right away is that the character is a human male somewhere around nineteen. . .but this is never stated. It could be a female. They could be older. We don't know much at all about them.
> 
> I also don't know when it happens. Some of the words suggest an older time, but some of the tone suggests a younger time. This could be anywhere between 1500 and 1900 as far as I know.
> 
> ...



I think she's around 19-21 years old... female because the Captain is the first encounter with a man our character has had on her voyage. 

It feels like maybe the late 1800's, or the early 1900's. 

I think she is leaving her homeland in search of adventure, taking her aquired knowledge and skills to help her along the way.


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## HLGStrider (Aug 19, 2004)

The only reason I caught it was taking a brain racking fiction course this summer. If I hadn't I would've just given a vague "more detail would be nice" comment.


When I read first encounter with men I thought at first that men meant human and that we were dealing with an elf/hobbit/other creature. The idea of it meaning male is illogical to me. After all, there is mention of a late father. There has to have been some males in this persons life if she didn't grow up in a nunnery.


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## HLGStrider (Aug 19, 2004)

A bit of a suggestion:

This is told in a memior/journal form. It would not be unfitting, therefore, for it to start out formally with either, "In the year of our lord 1776" or "In the same year following that in which the great Sir Francis drove the Spanish from our sacred isle" something that would quickly give us an idea of the when and where. Or you could swiftly present the characters age, "In my nineteenth summer" rather than the vague "when I was young."

Also it is not unusual for a character to give a brief summary of their appearance, character, habits, plans, dreams, in a first person piece like this.

For one thing it can easily give unstated insights into the character. If a character states that he was "not yet to full manhood" or makes some comment about a weakness to the shoulders you can suggest some insecurity as to physical strength/prowess. If the character talks boastingly of the strength of their youth you can suggest ego. If the character is plain and to the point you can suggest matter of fact personality. You get the idea?

Perhaps describe the day you left home. It had to have some emotions involved. It would interest people and give you the idea if the idea is to, as I said, get away and never come back or to get away and then come back.


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## HLGStrider (Aug 19, 2004)

greypilgrim said:


> I think she is leaving her homeland in search of adventure, taking her aquired knowledge and skills to help her along the way.


AH! Another huge point. What knowledge? What skills? We see she/he can fish and trap but what else? What has the character been doing the last, presumably, twenty years of his life? Can he read? 

He sets out very firmly without a lot of naivette. Seems a bit unusual to me. 

Also, if it is a female, I don't think the premesis is logical. There simply weren't that many women in this time period that could/would do what this character has done. If it is a female you have to make it more of an issue of escaping a female role. It can't be so matter of fact.


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