# Middle Earth Wedding Ceremonies



## Saucy (Apr 15, 2004)

This is just something i have been musing at,
In the Lotr's books alott of people get hitched within the end of the novel. But the wedding isnt really described so we can only guess on how the weddings occur.
Do you think they have vows?? and wouldnt the vows be very different for each race i cant imagina a dwarf saying the same sorta vow's has an Elf.
and what do they read from, i mean they dont have something like our bible?
Also did dwarfs get married at all?
 

I mean even when we saw the weddings illustrated in movies they werent fully understandable, and PJ's impression of it isnt alaways fully informative. Not to mention the hobbit wedding appeared much like our own weddings, Aragorn and arwens wedding was totally hard to translate because it was sorta a wedding / crowning/ honor the little hobbit folk party thinger.

Also arent weddings something that occurs within a relgieon, or should be. And the ceremonies are differnet considering what religeon you are. I assume each race is like a religeon so.

well if you can make anything out of powersauces bibbley babbley feel free to express ur thoughts.


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## Lantarion (Apr 15, 2004)

*Very* interesting question! I haven't really even thought about it. 
I suppose Tolkien must mention marriage and the affiliated ceremony/-ies somewhere, in some of his essays or earlier writings perhaps (unveiled only for those with the cash and patience to wade through the HoME ).. Personally I don't think I've ever come across anything mentioning weddings in M-e, but as I understand it Tolkien goes into some depth about the social customs of the Quendi, or at least the greater strains of them, so he has probably mentioned their wedding procedures as well.

Hobbit-weddings probably would be much like our own, because when you think about it, Western and Hobbit culture have lots of similarities, probably stemming from the fact that both are materialistic and consumption-based societies. Most western weddings will have the actual wedding ceremony (which I think _is_ always connected to religion, i.e. in this western context either Christianity or Judaism), but followed by the 'reception' where consumption of food and drink is wanton. 
From what Tolkien tells us of the customs and manners of Hobbits (which is quite a lot), they are a folk very much immersed in the meals and celebrations of events both great and small, so a Hobbit-wedding would, in my view, be a spectacularly large event.
But I don't think Tolkien ever does mention Hobbits adhering to any religion (or any other race for that matter, from what I've read).. I think because Tolkien in 'The Silmarillion' goes into such depth about _the_ 'true' gods of Arda/Eä, any religion contradicting that would seem to be a bit of a fallacy in the eyes of the reader, and the motives behind purposely creating a religion contrary to the true one presented (i.e. a very actual 'heathen' belief) would have to be questioned. (In this sense I think Tolkien's Middle-earth is rather limited, too much in fact, that different religions are not even in existance, and there is a great lack of diversity in that respect; it is almost impossible for us to imagine a world without religions, because such trouble and strife has been caused over the differing types)

But I don't see why matrimony should be necessarily or strictly linked with religion. In our world it is almost always the case, it's true; but atheists get married as well, and have celebrations and events commemorating the event. I think it is the same with Hobbits, though I may well be wrong.

As for Men, I feel somehow that they do recognize the Valar; as a Númenórean nation I think at least Gondor (and Arnor) would have upheld the worship or at least the belief of the Valar and Eru, as it was such an important part of the lifestyle of the people of Númenor.
And of Elves I have no doubt that Tolkien meant for the reader to see them as Valar-revering people, as their fates and lives are so directly intertwined.


Again, very interesting topic!


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## Confusticated (Apr 15, 2004)

I can tell you a little that Tolkien wrote about the marriage of elves. First the two often picked eachother in childhood. There would eventually be a meeting of the two families and the betrothal was announced. The two exchanged silver rings. There is then at least year's time in which they may publicly return the rings and call it off, but this not happen often, the elves do not error in such judgement! If this did happen though, the rings were emlted down and not used for such a purpose again.

At the appointed time of the wedding there would be a feast for the two houses to celebrate the marriage. The mother of bride and father of groom joined the hands of the two and said a blessing. The name of Varda was spoken by the mother, and name of Manwe by the father (you don't have to bother about who exactly these are, just know they are god-like divine beings held in reverence by the elves). And the name of Eru (God) was spoken, a thing seldom done. The two give back their silver rings (and treasure them) and now exchange gold ones, which are worn on the index finger of the right hand. Among some elves the mother of the bride gave a gift to the groom and his father gave a gift to the bride.

But, it is said that:



> But these ceremonies were not rites necessary to marriage; they were only a gracious mode by which the love of the parents was manifested, and the union was recognized which would join not only the betrothed but their two houses together. It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete. In happy days and times of peace it was held ungracious and contemptuous of kin to forgo the ceremonies, but it was at all times lawful for any of the Eldar, both being unwed, to marry thus of free consent one to another without ceremony or witness (save blessings exchanged and the naming of the Name); and the union so joined was alike indissoluble. In days of old, in times of trouble, in flight and exile and wandering, such marriages were often made.



No real wedding needed for marriage... as things should be! 

Off hand I am not aware of anything that tells us about the weddings of other races, but I think it is likey that the first Men who came in contact with elves in the elder days and who were great freinds of them going on to become the Numenoreans, would have taken similar traditions. These might have been held onto by the faithful and have eventually reached and lasted for a long time in Gondor.


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## Niniel (Apr 15, 2004)

In the 'Laws and customs among the Eldar' (HOME 10) there is a lot about weddings among the Eldar.
A short excerpt:
'In due time the betrothal was announced at a meeting of the two houses concerned, and the betrothed gave silver rings one to another. According to the laws of the Eldar, this betrothal was bound then to stand for one year at least (...). During this time it could be revoked by a public return of the rings. (...) After the betrothal it was the part of the betrothed to appoint the time of their wedding (...) Then at a feast, again shared by the two houses, the marriage was celebrated. At the end of the feast the betrothed stood forth, and the mother of the bride and the father of the bridegroom joined the hands of the pair and blessed them. For this blessing there was a solem form, but no mortal has heard it; though the Eldar say that Varda was named in witness by the mother and Manwë by the father; and moreover the name of Eru was spoken. (...) The betrothed then received back one from the other their silver rings; but they gave in exchange slender rings of gold, which were worn upon the index of the right hand. Among the Noldor also it was a custom that the bride's mother should give to the bridegroom a jewel upon a chain or collar; and the bridegroom's father should give a like gift to the bride.
But these ceremonies were not rites necessary to marriage (...). It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage.'
Well, you should read it yourself, it's very interesting.

Edit: I see Nóm beat me to it... well better twice than not at all.


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## Saucy (Apr 16, 2004)

well thank you for the grand explaination on the elves  
i am still curious though about the men,
i mean if Aragorn waited so long to marry Arwen, it would of been nice to hear how the events went about. but lacking of such detail is what can be expected from a male writer, i mean if Tolkien was a female i expect the novel would of been much longer and gone on about the color of the outfits, the weather, the emotional desperation *sigh* (heaven forbid)  


but its nice to try and imagine,
has for dwarf weddings i figure it would be somewhat much like shakespears taming of the shrew, when the couple getting married are both of a vulgar personality and neither of them are to anxious to be there.


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## Starflower (May 7, 2004)

well in teh case of Aragorn & Arwen, it has to remebered that Elrond was considered great among Eldar, so that would make Arwen an elven-princess. That was the reason why Elrond did not want two of them to marry before Aragorn was proclaimed King of Gondor. so thei situation was probably a bit special, their engagement was longer than most peoples as they were both longlived. As to their wedding ceremony, it was probably very formal and oldfashioned, maybe going as far back as the earliest Numenorean ceremonies taught them by the Eldar themselves maybe... 

Of the Dwarves, I would imagine them not having a formal wedding ceremony, but somethign akin to two young people getting betrothed, then leaving the comnnunity for an appointed time ( maybe a week, a month or something) then come back and would see a king or an elder to confirm their marriage... then everydody would drink a lot of beer and get really drunk


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