# Character switching. . .



## HLGStrider (Jun 22, 2003)

The idea of this game is to take a character from anywhere. . .a recognizeable, easy to make fun of book, movie, or pop-culture character. . .and fit him into a scene of the Lord of the Rings or Silmarilion in place of a LotR character. . .

At The Prancing Pony meets the Pink Panther.

Frodo hissed to Barliman, "Who is that strange man in the corner staring at me?"
"Him. . .well I don't rightly know what his real name is, but around here we call him . . .the Inspector. . ."
The Inspector glanced about and called Frodo over. 
"I am luking for a hugh-bit. . ."
"A Hughbit?"
"Yes. . .I am luking for a hughbit."
"I don't know what a Hugh-bit is!"
"YOU ARE ONE YOU FOOL!"
"OH! Hobbit!"

Frodo went over and danced on a table, finally falling off. 

"Oh the old fall off a table and disappear ploy!" the Inspector said. 







That could've been done a lot better. ..blah. . .you get the idea.


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## Eriol (Jun 22, 2003)

"There comes a time when the environment in an inn becomes almost unbreathable: sweat and smoke combine resulting in a nauseous smell. This is also the time when the alcohol begins to gnaw at the mind of the guests, tormented by fear, greed and nervous tension. And when this time approaches, the Ranger's senses wake up and revolt.

James Bond suddenly felt his own tiredness. He always knew when his body and mind were exhausted, and always acted accordingly. The mere conscience of his own tiredness lifted his mind above the boredom and the detachment, two feelings which could result in dire mistakes.

He casually turned his back to the center table, and lit his pipe. The hobbit was still singing the nonsensical song that seemed to gain the favor of the patrons. For a while, Bond observed the strange spectacle of the singing hobbit and his midget friends. He could see and feel other eyes looking at the same direction, with less friendly intentions.

He dropped his eyes to his own boots, and at that precise moment there was a commotion. While his head was instinctively lifted, he still caught the sight of the plates rising in the air, as the hobbit dropped to the floor -- but never reached it!

"The fool!", Bond muttered. He got ready to spring into action..."



(A shameless rip-off from _Casino Royale_'s first chapter...)


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## HLGStrider (Jun 23, 2003)

Twas quite good. . .You don't have to do the same scene as I do, however. . .though that is quite a good one. 

Hmmmmmm. . .What next? Replace Sam with Martha Stewart in the rabbit and Gollum scene?


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## faila (Jun 23, 2003)

> _Originally posted by HLGStrider _
> *Twas quite good. . .You don't have to do the same scene as I do, however. . .though that is quite a good one.
> 
> Hmmmmmm. . .What next? Replace Sam with Martha Stewart in the rabbit and Gollum scene? *


 No no martha stewart would have to be Souron, well all know shes the incarnation of evil and is actually behind Sadaam (this will be funnier if you had of watched conaan O bryan)
same scene as above, Aragorn Replaced with: Donatello (the ninja turtle)

Donatello felt slightly out of place, he was only a teenager and he was green in a bar, watching frodo and sam, frodo it seemed had a bit too much to drink. Sudenly frodo disapeared, and appeared near donatello in the corner.
"Whats up Dude" donatello said
Frodo replied "are you blind, can you not see?"
donatello was confused by this question.......



ok that was stupid.


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## VioletFalcon129 (Jun 27, 2003)

The turtle thing was funny. 

ok, this might not exactly fit, but........

Sauron and Frodo just watched a little kids show on shareing.
Sauron: you heard what the talking tomato said! sharing is nice. SO SHARE THE RING STUPID HALFLING!

that was really stupid. it was funnier when i said it before. oh well


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## HLGStrider (Jun 27, 2003)

Actually, that wasn't that bad. 

I spent awhile trying to think up how to replace Elrond with Mr. Rodgers, but I couldn't figure it out too well. . .


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## HLGStrider (Mar 16, 2004)

I really want to let the class comedians have another wack at this baby. . .I still think Mr. Rodgers would make a good Elrond. . .


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## Melian_the_Maya (Mar 17, 2004)

*Winnetou of Gondor*

From his high stone balcony, Lord Elrond the Halfelven watched the comings and goings of Rivendell as was his habit. However, his gaze had been attracted that morning to the arrival of a new visitor. Black was his steed, but noble in build, with a proud head, with steamy nostrils in the perfumed air.

The rider of this steed had black hair in which sometimes the sun brought blue shades. His cheekbones were high, his stature was Elven-like, yet his face bore the unmistakable signs of tiredness, so unlike the Firstborn children of Eru Ilúvatar. The gaze of the black eyes, black as cherries in mid July was only pointed ahead of him and as he reached the inner yard, he dismounted the great black steed and tended to it himself.

The Lord Elrond smiled slightly, a twitch around his withered lips. There were few Men on Middle Earth to whom the horse that bore them thus far would have meant this much. He watched with a sudden inner light the stranger who climbed with much agility the stone steps and paused proudly in front of the Lord of the Elves in Rivendell.

"Winnetou, son of Inchu-Chuna, steward of Gondor, greets Elrond the Halfelven, Lord of Imladris!" said the man gravely, his hand performing the known wave, from the shoulder to the side, that was the Apache greeting.

"Winnetou is of course welcome in Imladris" spoke the Lord Elrond, his gaze passing swiftly over the guest. "It has been long since the sons of Gondor have come this way. What brings the son of Inchu-Chuna here?"

"Manitou, the Great Spirit, has spoken to the Apaches of Gondor, my lord. Winnetou and his brother have had dreams, my lord, dreams of the End coming." Elrond's gaze deepend, but no word came out of his lips. The Indian went on, his keen eyes ever on the Lord of Imladris. "Winnetou dreams he is hunting buffalos, going towards the East and he shoots a great, strong bull, which would please his father. But then the sky to the East burns and then is darkened, as if all light has been drawn from the world. And the darkness comes menacingly towards Winnetou's home of Minas Tirith. And from the West then, the voice of the Great Spirit speaks to Winnetou, his son:

"Look for the Tomahawk that was broken
In Imladris it dwells;
There shall be councils taken
Stronger than Morgul spells.
There shall be shown a token
The Doom is near at hand,
For Isildur's Bane shall waken,
And the Halfling forth shall stand."

Neither my father, Inchu-Chuna, nor the white Medicine Man Klekih-Petra could undo this riddle, thus Winnetou took the path that lead to Imladris and let then the councils be taken and the Doom denied!"

So spoke the Apache as he proudly stood in the yard, his head high and his eyes burning. But Lord Elrond did not speak right away, for in his mind the greater picture was assembled and he pondered it was not right to give council to this traveller at that time. The Halfling had to stand forth first.

"Winnetou will forgive me if I do not speak at once. The councils shall be taken, but in a short while, for more guests are to come and much is to be spoken of. I offer Winnetou my house to rest in and my food and water for him to eat and drink. As for my knowledge, he shall have some of it when the time comes."

The noble Apache nodded slightly and said, his voice still low and melodious, his accent hardy yet musical.

"Winnetou thanks the Lord Elrond for his hospitality. He will wait here, as the Lord asks, but not inside the stone prison will he rest. For the Apache is a son of the preerie and only there will he rest his head. So it was spoken. Howgh!"

And the Indian saluted the Halfelven Elrond once more and turned. The Lord of Imladris watched as he indeed curled up to sleep next to his faithful steed, away from the main path into Rivendell. And from the stone balcony, Elrond the Halfelven gazed again at the comings and goings of Rivendell and Middle Earth as was his habit...


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## Rangerdave (Mar 17, 2004)

Clayton Moore as Aragorn.

(scene: on the banks of the Silverlode after escaping Moria)

*Aragorn:* Tonto, get the up. We must reach the safety of Lorien before nightfall.

*Legolas:* Look! Mr Stubble: I'm not going to tell you this again! My name is Legolas LEG-O-LAS! Not Tonto, not Keemosabe, LEGOLAS!
Got that Whisker-Boy!



 
RD


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## HLGStrider (Mar 19, 2004)

Melian's seems wrong to laugh at. . .it's convincing but it isn't. . .hmm . . .I don't know.

I like RD's for humor. . .though a bit less convincing.


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## Melian_the_Maya (Mar 19, 2004)

Yeah, I noticed... well, my humorous writing is very deficient from all points of view. I just thought that Winnetou would make a good Boromir-ish type of character, he is less likely to be a traitor, anyway.


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## Ambartur (Mar 19, 2004)

Cosma Kramer could definately be somebody, although I can't think of anyone right now. Plus, if I were to make it, it probably wouldn't be that funny...But I suggest that somebody could make Kramer be somebody...


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## Elessar II (Mar 19, 2004)

In the bowels of Fangorn Forest, Legolas senses a foreboding presence and speaks his apprehensions to his companions. 

"I feel we are being shadowed," Legolas suddenly says. 
"Whom do you suppose it is?" Gimli questions.
Legolas discloses his suspicions to his comrades.

Suddenly, a twig snaps. The three companions freeze.
"He approaches", Legolas whispers.
"Do not let him speak," Aragorn replied, "he will put a spell on us."

Swiftly, the dwarf, elf, and man spin around, brandishing their weapons. 
The stranger suddenly appears from out of nowhere, the sunlight shining brightly from behind, concealing his features.

With a yell, Gimli hurls his axe at the villain, and Legolas lets an arrow fly. The stranger easily dodges the two projectiles.
Aragorn whips out his dagger, and with a rapid movement, flings it at the foe, just as Legolas lets another arrow fly.
As the dagger travels towards the strangers head, he suddenly spins to his left, avoiding the dagger, but moving right into the path of Legolas' arrow.

At that moment, sunlight blinds the companions eyes, a swift flash of movement is seen and a grunt is heard. Several moments pass without a sound. The sun suddenly passes behind a cloud, and the company looks around in bewilderment. The stranger is gone!

As the three comrades slowly move toward the spot where the stranger was last seen, a slight rustle is heard from behind, and the company madly whirls around.

A voice is heard. 
"Your honor", it says as the man behind the voice suddenly reaches out and hands the arrow back to Legolas.

The company looks in astonishment from the arrow to the face of the stranger and then back to the arrow.

"How did you do that?" they cry in utter bewilderment.

"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." the stranger replies. "Savvy?"




Ah, don't groan. I know it's pretty pathetic, but as my family is now watching POTC, it's rather hard, right now, for me to think of any character besides Jack Sparrow   .


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## Starbrow (Apr 7, 2004)

You know that scene at the end of the Sound of Music where the Van Trapp family is escaping over the Alps. Now imagine the soundtrack for the movie playing in FotR. "Climb Every Mountain" as the Fellowship tries to cross Caradras. "My Favorite Things" as they go through Moria.

Just a thought.


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## HLGStrider (Apr 9, 2004)

Interesting point:


Seven children + Captain+ Maria= nine
Fellowship= Nine

So. . .which one is Maria?


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## Starbrow (Apr 9, 2004)

Pippen, of course. He's the one always getting into trouble.

How do you solve a problem like Pippen?

Many things you know you'd like to tell him.
Many things he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say?


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## HLGStrider (Apr 11, 2004)

Brilliant! APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE!

Hmmm. . .does that mean Merry was Captain Von Trapp?


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