# Princedom can't buy me love



## Inderjit S (Mar 12, 2003)

Laws and Customs of the Eldar tells us:



> The Eldar weeded for the most part in their youth and soon after their fiftieth year. Laws and Customs of the Eldar; HoME 10





> Marriage, save for rare ill chances or strange fates, was the natural course for all the Eldar… Laws and Customs of the Eldar; HoME 10



So, barring one or two exceptions, Elves usually got married, but looking at the list of Finweans who actually got married, the list is staggeringly short, which makes me wonder, why did so few of the Finweans marry?

O.K, let’s start with the children of Finwe. Feanor, was married to Nerdanel, Fingolfin to Anaire and Finarfin to Earwen, Telerin princess. Of Finwe’s two daughters, Findis (Whose name was not Sindarinized, due to her not leaving for M-E) Lalwende, no husband’s or children are mentioned. So, there are no mega love problems for the first generation Finweans, but it seems that the second generation Finweans were quite unlucky in love.

Lets look at the sons of Feanor. Out of all sevens sons, only three were ever married



> Maedros (Maedhros) the eldest appears to have been unwedded, also the two youngest (twins, of whom one was by evil mischance burned with the ships)….Other’s who were wedded were Maelor (Maglor) and Cranthir (Caranthir). (Plus of course Curufin, father of Celebrimbor.) Of Dwarves and Men; HoME 12




Then if we look at the children of Fingolfin, only Turgon was married, to Elenwe, a Vanyarin lady, whilst Fingon, Argon and Aredhel were unmarried. ( Of course Aredhel was later forced into marriage by Eol. That marriage wasn’t of free consent.) 

Note: The names given here are their Quenya names. 



> Findekano (Fingon) had no wife or child; neither had Arakano. (Argon) The Shibboleth of Feanor; HoME 12


Now, let’s move onto to house of Finarfin. They aren‘t as bad, with half of Finarfin’s children, Galadriel and Angrod being married, whilst the other two were unlucky in love, with Finrod loving Amarie, a Vanyarin woman and Aegnor loving Andreth, a Beorian wise woman. But still this conveys some kind of taint upon the house of Finarfin, as two of them couldn’t find love for some reason or another, though doubtless Finrod was re-united with Amarie after he was re-incarnated. 

Or what about the children of Orodreth, son of Angrod Gil-galad and Finduilas? Gil-Galad, never got married in the three thousands years or so that he was king, and Finduilas’s first love, Gwindor, was captured, whilst though her and Turin loved each other, his fate and that big fat dragon Glaurung came between them. 

So, why did so few of the Finweans marry? Maybe the shadow of the death of Miriel, which was said to be the begging in the marring of the Noldor/Aman, so maybe that effect it?


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## Ithrynluin (Mar 12, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Inderjit S _
> *So, why did so few of the Finweans marry? Maybe the shadow of the death of Miriel, which was said to be the begging in the marring of the Noldor/Aman, so maybe that effect it? *



I see it as great misfortune upon their houses, caused by the deceits of Melkor, and the Curse of Mandos.
Or simply strange fates (Aegnor) or terrible disasters (either Amrod or Amras).


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## Celebithil (Mar 12, 2003)

No proof or anything but being important in the war against Morgoth they may not have wanted to put their family at risk or treat them unfairly. They may have seen it as irresponsible to take a wife and then spend so much time of fighting or planning or something. There would also be the risk of hostages and other things that could be problems when dealing with spouses/children.


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## Beleg (Mar 13, 2003)

*Finduilas’s first love, Gwindor, was captured, whilst though her and Turin loved each other, his fate and that big fat dragon Glaurung came between them.*

LoL.
*
The Eldar wedded for the most part in their youth and soon after their fiftieth year. They had few
children, but these were very dear to them. Their families, or houses, were held together by love
and a deep feeling for kinship in mind and body; and the children needed little governing or
teaching. There were seldom more than four children in any house, and the number grew less as
ages passed; but even in days of old, while the Eldar were still few and eager to increase their
kind, Fëanor was renowned as the father of seven sons, and the histories record none that
surpassed him.
The Eldar wedded once only in life, and for love or at the least by free will upon either part.
Even when in after days, as the histories reveal, many of the Eldar in Middle-earth became
corrupted, and their hearts darkened by the shadow that lies upon Arda, seldom is any tale told of
deeds of lust among them.
Marriage, save for rare ill chances or strange fates, was the natural course of life for all the Eldar.
It took place in this way. Those who would afterwards become wedded might choose one
another early in youth, even as children (and indeed this happened often in days of peace); but
unless they desired soon to be married and were of fitting age, the betrothal awaited the
judgment of the parents of either party.
In due time the betrothal was announced at a meeting of the two houses concerned, and the
betrothed gave silver rings one to another. According to the laws of the Eldar this betrothal was
bound then to stand for one year at least, and it often stood for longer. During this time it could
be revoked by a public return of the rings, the rings then being molten and not again used for a
betrothal. Such was the law; but the right of revoking was seldom used, for the Eldar do not err
lightly in such choice. They are not easily deceived by their own kind; and their spirits being
masters of their bodies, they are seldom swayed by the desires of the body only, but are by nature
continent and steadfast.
After the betrothal it was the part of the betrothed to appoint the time of their wedding, when at
least one year had passed. Then at a feast, again shared by the two houses, the marriage was
celebrated. At the end of the feast the betrothed stood forth, and the mother of the bride and the
father of the bridegroom joined the hands of the pair and blessed them. For this blessing there
was a solemn form, but no mortal has heard it; though the Eldar say that Varda was named in
witness by the mother and Manwë by the father; and moreover that the name of Eru was spoken
(as was seldom done at any other time). The betrothed then received back one from the other
their silver rings (and treasured them); but they gave in exchange slender rings of gold, which
were worn upon the index of the right hand.

Also, among the Noldor, it was a custom that the bride's mother should give to the bridegroom a
jewel upon a chain or collar; and the bridegroom's father should give a like gift to the bride.
These gifts were sometimes given before the feast.
(Thus the gift of Galadriel to Aragorn, since she was in place of Arwen's mother, was in part a
bridal gift and earnest of the wedding that was later accomplished.)
But these ceremonies were not rites necessary to marriage; they were only a gracious mode by
which the love of the parents was manifested, and the union was recognized which would join
not only the betrothed but their two houses together. It was the act of bodily union that achieved
marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete. In happy days and times of peace
it was held ungracious and contemptuous of kin to forego the ceremonies, but it was at all times
lawful for any of the Eldar, both being unwed, to marry thus free of consent one to another
without ceremony or witness (save blessings exchanged and the naming of the Name); and the
union so joined was alike indissoluble. In days of old, in times of trouble, in flight and exile and
wandering, such marriages were often made.*

The above passage tells us about the marriage customs. On closer inspection we can see that a lot of ritual items were missing from the status of Noldo princess in Beleriand. 
i think you explained yourself the reasons pretty well. Even at that time marriage between men/elf would have been considered unlawful. And we can see that it is only in exceptional cases that elves/men have been bonded togather although there must have been romantic feeling between the two races. 


*Now, let’s move onto to house of Finarfin. They aren‘t as bad, with half of Finarfin’s children, Galadriel and Angrod being married, whilst the other two were unlucky in love, with Finrod loving Amarie, a Vanyarin woman and Aegnor loving Andreth, a Beorian wise woman. But still this conveys some kind of taint upon the house of Finarfin, as two of them couldn’t find love for some reason or another, though doubtless Finrod was re- united with Amarie after he was re-incarnated.* 

It wasn't there fault that they couldn't marry. Elves usually married along with physical bonding and perhaps in the case of Finrod, theyu hadn't reached such a state and weren't wedded. Perhaps it might have been that the Vinyamar lady Finrod loved didn;'t love him back and so due to that grief he vowed not to marry. 
As for Agenor, perhaps his love for the Beorian lady wasn't great enough for the vala to give them permission. There is a huge difference in the life span of Elves and Men. And Elves usually didn't remarry. (feanor's father was an exception) 
As for Fingon i have often wondered the reason, but i think its one of the unexplainble things that Tolkien left untouched. 

Anyway wonderful research Inderjit.


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## Gil-Galad (Mar 14, 2003)

Celebithil,I agree with you,there were more important things than marrying.I think that the oath of Feanor's sons was the main reason for that.They all were totally committed to their oath and no woman could stop them or marry them till they achieve their aim.To have the silmarils back.


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## Inderjit S (Mar 15, 2003)

Im talking about finding love in AMAN-not Beleriand.


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## Maedhros (Mar 15, 2003)

I have always wondered about the first sons of Fëanor and Fingolfin. Maedhros and Fingon were never married. The only first son of a Ñoldorian prince to marry was Finrod, but that was after his re-incarnation.
It's funny but I would thought that those two if they wanted to, could have found wives. It makes me wonder.


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## Inderjit S (Mar 15, 2003)

> It's funny but I would thought that those two if they wanted to, could have found wives



Yep-I agree, esp. Maedhros. I think one who is named 'Maitimio', one of beautiful bodily form would've been a hit with the Elven laydies? Maybe one of them had a lover, that we don't know about?



> It makes me wonder.



Lol. I hope you're not implying, what I think you are.


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## Maedhros (Mar 16, 2003)

> Lol. I hope you're not implying, what I think you are.


Nope I'm not. I remember reading stories about Fan fics of the Sil, and it disgusts me the way the portray Maedhros.
There is this cool Lay of Maedhros


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## Inderjit S (Mar 17, 2003)

Oh... the old "evil son of feanor" rubbish?


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## Maedhros (Mar 18, 2003)

I would say the great son of Fëanor.


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