# Eowyn and Faramir relationship



## RangerStryder (Apr 14, 2010)

Do you think Eowyn really love Faramir, or she just married the dude for convenience?

Do you think that Faramir's pity towards Eowyn can really lead to loving her despite the fact that everybody (esp in Rohan after that PDA; crying at Dunharrow) knows she's longing for the chieftain of the Dunedain?





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## Bucky (Apr 15, 2010)

*Re: Love*

Why the questions?

Haven't you read the chapter?


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## Starbrow (May 4, 2010)

I may love and want to marry Viggo Mortenson, but in reality, I know its impossible and it's only hero worship. Therefore, I will be happily in love with my husband. I believe Eowyn realized that she really didn't love Aragorn and that true love was close at hand.


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## Bucky (May 5, 2010)

Starbrow said:


> I may love and want to marry Viggo Mortenson, but in reality, I know its impossible and it's only hero worship. Therefore, I will be happily in love with my husband. I believe Eowyn realized that she really didn't love Aragorn and that true love was close at hand.



I know I'm weird, but there's only one woman in the world for me:

My wife. 

And, thankfully, vice-versa.


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## HLGStrider (May 13, 2010)

Having been on the Eowyn end of a loving from afar situation, I've always fiercely defended the fact that what she felt for Aragorn was truly love. I also know that if you love a man who gives you no hope (and Aragorn gave her no hope) you reach a point where you have to choose to move on, to turn that love into something else. True love does not always have the need to possess. When in love for the first time with an unresponsive "just friends" type, I fervently believed that he would be best off with me and did the best to convince him of the fact. He responded by saying I was like a little sister to him and running off to join the military. Him slipping through my fingers was the most painful experience of my life, but eventually I had to learn to accept it and start looking for other things to pursue. 

Eowyn's pursuit of choice was honor in the battlefield (and death; I see no indication from her actions that she expected to return alive). When death failed her, she reached the point of acceptance and at this point, I truly believe she was opened to real love again, and it is quite possible she also still loved Aragorn, though not in anyway that would've ever come between Faramir. As I said, true love has no need to possess. I believe she wished him well and wanted him to think well of her. It wasn't a "I don't care what that jerk thinks of me; I did better" sort of ending. It wasn't an, "Oh well, second place prize is this dude" sort of ending either. 

While I always thank God my story had a different ending than Eowyn's (I love my Marine!!!), I understand Eowyn's and I don't think it is fair to devalue either her loves.


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## Starflower (Jul 8, 2010)

Hmm. 


> Thus Aragorn for the first time in the full light of day beheld Éowyn, Lady of Rohan, and thought her fair, fair and cold, like a morning of pale spring that is not yet come to womanhood. And she now was suddenly aware of him: tall heir of kings, wise with many winters, greycloaked. Hiding a power that yet she felt. For a moment still as stone she stood, then turning swiftly she was gone.



We have to remember that Eowyn lived a very sheltered life, meeting Aragorn must have been a shock to the system! He is very well described here, tall, wise, full of power... I believe it is this that attracted him to Eowyn, not Aragorn-the-man but Aragorn-the-heir-of-Kings. Thus it was not 'real' love, I do not mean to diminish her feelings but love is not fulfilled until it is reciprocated - which she did not experience until she met Faramir. 
I agree with Elgee in saying Eowyn did not think of Faramir as 'second best' in any way, it was just that she was now in a position to re-evaluate her life and feelings and found Faramir responsive to her, whereas Aragorn has quite firmly told her that he does not feel the same.


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## Halasían (Aug 23, 2010)

I think examining this thread started this year says a lot about why Tolkien discussion on this board is comatose....

Post #1:


RangerStryder said:


> Do you think Eowyn really love Faramir, or she just married the dude for convenience?
> 
> Do you think that Faramir's pity towards Eowyn can really lead to loving her despite the fact that everybody (esp in Rohan after that PDA; crying at Dunharrow) knows she's longing for the chieftain of the Dunedain?



Followed immediately within a day by Post #2:


Bucky said:


> Why the questions?
> 
> Haven't you read the chapter?



Then finally three weeks later, Post #3 comes & is mostly references to one's real life loves and on crushes on the LotR movie actors. A week later, HLG tried to steer it back toward a Tolkien discussion, but by then I'm sure the original poster had forgotten about this question thread, and probably blew it off after the first response. Just sayin'


Basically Eowyn just wanted to be with a hot Dunedain man. Ranger #27 had the hots for her, and maybe saw his chance when Aragorn shunned her affection, but his honour kept him in his place, and he couldn't compete with the Royal Steward of Gondor.


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## Confusticated (Aug 23, 2010)

Well I've always liked to look beyond the text and speculate about what might or might not have gone on behind the scenes.



> Do you think Eowyn really love Faramir, or she just married the dude for convenience?


She loved him, but not the same as she loved Aragorn. 



> Do you think that Faramir's pity towards Eowyn can really lead to loving her despite the fact that everybody (esp in Rohan after that PDA; crying at Dunharrow) knows she's longing for the chieftain of the Dunedain?


Yes. 

If someone feels they love someone then they do, and it can't really be judged.


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## Halasían (Jul 17, 2018)

This Essay on Eowyn has some great insights in to the character. I don't agree with everything Laineth has written here, but it is worth a read-through.


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## Ithilethiel (Jul 18, 2018)

Halasían said:


> This Essay on Eowyn has some great insights in to the character. I don't agree with everything Laineth has written here, but it is worth a read-through.



A very interesting read Halasían. Thank you for posting it.

As you, I do not totally agree with all stated within the review but it is a very thorough and thoughtful argument which puts forth many salient points.

My biggest argument with it has to do with the use of the term, _toxic masculinity. _The term in itself is sexist and prejudicial. The fact that Eowyn is raised in an atmosphere of masculinity in an age of war is obvious. That the behavior of Rohan's warriors (of which all males of a certain age can be variously included) is _toxic _I do not agree. How should such men have behaved? As accountants or computer programmers?

I believe in discussing Tolkien's writings we are wise to be cautious of attributing either female or male characterizations of the modern age. All such generalizations attempted in comparisons of one time and place to another will invariably cause errors of judgment to be easily made. Adding social constructs to Tolkien very often adds an unnecessary layer of disharmony to an already full and intricate tale. That does not mean it is impossible to have such discussions only that it is detrimental to allow prejudices from perceived personal or societal frameworks to imbue the conversation.

As a young woman attending university I have been more than consistently indoctrinated into the feminist ideology of today yet I am somewhat of an anomaly for I protest it. I do not see the contrived and collected evilness of men behind every tree. Am I sensitive to inequality? Of course, but I do not seek it at every turn.

Equality to me implies that all individuals are offered the opportunity to define their genderhood (small "g") in ways that bring them a life of wellness and completeness. Happiness is never guaranteed nor is superiority based on the subjugation of others conferred.

I apologize for taking this conversation far afield of the OP's question. It is a debate I usually wouldn't have entered into if it had not been for the more recent intriguing posts. So in way of setting it to rights I will respond but briefly.

_Do I believe Eowyn truly loved Faramir?
_
In short, yes. I believe she loved Faramir but _not _Aragorn. She both lionized and idolized Aragorn but in her rapture of him there was no room for the man. I can crush on someone and call it love but that does not make it so.

So I see her infatuation of him for all the many reasons we observe in their encounters as little more than an obsession. She sees him as a glorious and appealing means to an end. He holds the golden ticket for her escape from the tediousness of her life, from the cage she believes she inhabits. How true is that still seen today to disastrous results? Her intentions are not pure nor are they honorable.

They are not loving for there is the stain of selfishness in them. And I am enough of a romantic to believe there is no room for selfishness in love. She does not love the man Aragon, she loves the idea of him.

In Faramir she confronts a man in many ways similar to herself. He has grown up a warrior but one always in the shadow of his older more renowned brother. He too has had to suffer the insignificancy of his place within the big picture. But unlike her he permits for his compassion, it is the hallmark of his personality. She chooses a cold marble like mask to conceal her frustration and ire, he the courage of his true character.

I believe it is the kindness and compassion that Eowyn confronts in Faramir that finally shatters her illusions about herself. He, who has endured so much yet has lived his life with such grace and sincerity. Through his unselfish love of her she begins to recognize the truth within herself. It is not instantaneous as she is a too proud person and enlightenment comes slowly. But eventually, through Faramir's gentle yet firm urgings is she at last able to live her life authentically and let drop her mask becoming capable of entering into a true and mature love.

I guess my answer wasn't as short as I thought it would be.


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## Gilgaearel (Jul 18, 2018)

RangerStryder said:


> Do you think Eowyn really love Faramir, or she just married the dude for convenience?



Of course her love was real.
Her first love towards Aragorn was an idealized love, towards the King and not that much towards that man as an individual.
Her love for Faramir was the pragmatic one. The love towards the man himself. Not towards what this man represented.



> Do you think that Faramir's pity towards Eowyn can really lead to loving her despite the fact that everybody (esp in Rohan after that PDA; crying at Dunharrow) knows she's longing for the chieftain of the Dunedain.



He didn't pity her due to her unrequited love towards Aragorn. He pitied her because he saw a young woman in her prime being so lonely and so disoriented after almost losing her life in the battle field.


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## MrsEowynBrandybuck (Jul 27, 2018)

Eowyn should have ended up with Merry.


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## Gilgaearel (Aug 14, 2018)

Eowyn should have ended up with Glorfindel. He killed and was killed by a Balrog ( but he came back ) and she killed a dragon and the WK. I think that these two would have had a lot in common to make the perfect bad ass couple. ha ha ha

Except of course of the fact that Eowyn was mortal while Glorfindel wasn't but then again this makes her achievement even more valuable and so probably she would have been "rewarded" somehow by Eru for her braveness.
I can't imagine a better match neither for Eowyn nor for Glorfindel.


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## Halasían (Aug 15, 2018)

Eowyn would have ended up with Halbarad, Aragorn's wingman. But he got killed at Pelennor so it left the door open for Faramir to swoop in on the hot blonde.


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## Deleted member 12094 (Aug 15, 2018)

LOL

Trickssy, falssse !


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