# If The Film Was Directed By Me



## TheDarkElf (Oct 13, 2002)

Hi, I'm bored, and its left me wondering what is different between the books and the film. So with all my creativeness and lack of sleep, I've written an alternative ending to the film. Sort of an out-take:

LOTR: Frodo leaves for Mordor 
Frodo sits in the boat, glumly looking back at the woods. Sam appears on the banks of the river. 
"Frodo!" 
"Sam, don't try to follow me, I'm going alone!" 
"I know you are!" There is a pause... 
"Aren't you meant too say your coming with me?" 
"Yes, but I don't want too" 
"What????" 
"Well, according to this, we get into all sorts of trouble" Sam shouts, holding up the LOTR book "But this is the film, it might be different" 
"I've seen Titanic, these directors don't mind killing off main characters anymore. I'll see you back at the Shire!" 
"Sam!!! Get your scrawny little *** over here now!" 
"Sorry Frodo, I'm going home" Sam walks away. Frodo stands in the boat, waving his fist "You ungrateful little ****!!!!!" 
Suddenly an arrow flies past and hits the boat, tipping Frodo into the water. "Arghhhhhhhh" 
"Cut!! Somebody save Frodo before he drowns" sighs the director. "Legolas, shoot the orcs, not the hobbits!" 
"Sorry, but he looks a bit like an orc..." 
Frodo is pulled out of the water. "I am soooo the good looking one in this film" 
"With a face like that?" 
"Shut it, you arrow firing freak" 
"Dwarf" 
"Hey, who are you calling dwarf?" shouts Gimli


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## YayGollum (Oct 13, 2002)

That's good, but if it was directed by me, it would be all about Gollum, of course! The scene where Gandalf tells Frodo about Gollum's past wouldn't be deleted. The whole thing would have Gollum narrating, always ranting about nasssty hobbitses and stuff. Great idea, right?


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## ltas (Oct 18, 2002)

Any other scenes you would have directed differently?


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## YayGollum (Oct 18, 2002)

Me or him? Well, that's all I would do in the first movie. There's a lot more craziness I could do in the next movies.


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## ltas (Oct 18, 2002)

> _Originally posted by YayGollum _
> *Me or him? Well, that's all I would do in the first movie. There's a lot more craziness I could do in the next movies. *



I was trying to encourage TheDarkElf to write more of his stuff. 
But the idea of Gollum narrating... WOOOAAAH!!!! - that is SUCH A great idea!!!! Seriously! Like, the entire story from Gollum's point of view... Vow. It's so easy to imagine the story from Elf's, Hobbit's, Man's or Dwarf's perspective, but to have a whole different vision of the story seen through the eyes of a disliked and hated creature... To get into his mind... 
And narrating it would be a real dream job for any actor, too.


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## Legolas_lover12 (Oct 19, 2002)

that would be kool to have it from gollum's POV. and i liked that scene. LOL. titanic. ROTLFMAO write some more.


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## YayGollum (Oct 23, 2002)

Yeah, that dude needs to get back here. oh well. Yay for Gollum narrating! It would be cool to have the thing narrated by the Hero.


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## Legolas_lover12 (Oct 24, 2002)

LOL. wutever u say .............


hero ....now THAT'S funny


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## YayGollum (Oct 25, 2002)

Not funny, but true. Very easy to figure out if you read LOTR. Gollum was the only one to destroy the One Ring, right? Right. Instant Heroship! Yay!


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## Legolas_lover12 (Oct 25, 2002)

LOL. frodo was the one who took the ring to mt. doom and everything. gollum was the one who wanted to eat bilbo. how rude!!


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## YayGollum (Oct 25, 2002)

Yay for messing a thread up just to talk about Gollum!  The Mods got rid of the Gollum Fan Club, so it's their fault!  Anyways, so what if Frodo did most of the work? He went crazy and couldn't destroy the Ring. Gollum did. So he's the Hero. No doubt about it. Also, Gollum was only kidding about eating Bilbo. You can't tell that he was just messing with him? Well, maybe that's just some crazy idea of mine. oh well.


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## Muppsatan (Oct 28, 2002)

ya gollum true hero frodo got hmm? well frodos just strange ? gollum tryes to kill frodo but instead he make the ring fall down and then he has to be hero whitout him sauron would rule our world!


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## YayGollum (Oct 28, 2002)

Right. Except for the part about Gollum trying to kill Frodo. He only bit his finger off to get his security blanket (as I like to call the One Ring to Gollum) back. oh well. YayGollum!


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## LadyGaladriel (Oct 28, 2002)

> _Originally posted by YayGollum _
> *Yay for messing a thread up just to talk about Gollum!  The Mods got rid of the Gollum Fan Club, so it's their fault!  Anyways, so what if Frodo did most of the work? He went crazy and couldn't destroy the Ring. Gollum did. So he's the Hero. No doubt about it. Also, Gollum was only kidding about eating Bilbo. You can't tell that he was just messing with him? Well, maybe that's just some crazy idea of mine. oh well. *




Did hey really? I can see their POV concerning The one word game . But the Gollum fan club was actually quite funny.


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## YayGollum (Oct 28, 2002)

Well, thank you very much. It was the most fun I ever had over here. It was my very first thread and I was very proud of it being around for so long. It had spammed many times before and the Mods definitely had a lot of time to warn me. I guess I thought that they were just letting me do my own thing in there. oh well. You just watch this thing get deleted, too. What would you have done if you had directed the movie?


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## LadyGaladriel (Oct 28, 2002)

> _Originally posted by YayGollum _
> *Well, thank you very much. It was the most fun I ever had over here. It was my very first thread and I was very proud of it being around for so long. It had spammed many times before and the Mods definitely had a lot of time to warn me. I guess I thought that they were just letting me do my own thing in there. oh well. You just watch this thing get deleted, too. What would you have done if you had directed the movie?  *



who me???

If I had directed it I would have been a very happy person. I would have put everything possible in


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## Ascamaciliel (Nov 9, 2002)

as would I, though I probably would have had to have taken out some of the dialogue since there's so much. it would be like 10 hours


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## Legolas_lover12 (Nov 10, 2002)

i, for one, wouldn't mind that.  LOL. but i have a feeling some ppl would.


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## Wolfshead (Nov 11, 2002)

> If the film was directed by me


It would be crap  *Leaves to go and praise Jackson*. People give him such a hard time, criticising him 'n all, so you need to ask them, could you do any better? Every time, the answer will be no. Anyhow, that doesn't really fit in with the general running of this thread, so...


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## Legolas_lover12 (Nov 11, 2002)

yes. i hated it when there used to be all those threads that were dissin' PJ. i thought he did a very good job.


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## Wonko The Sane (Nov 15, 2002)

I'm sure someone here must've pointed this out already, but the title of your thread is grammatically clumsy and perhaps even a bit incorrect. 

Perhaps it should read: "If I had directed the film" 

However, to say, "If the film was directed by me" is wrong on so many levels I just can't even begin to know where to start.

Sorry...crazy English-Tool in me had to say that.


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## Legolas_lover12 (Nov 15, 2002)

ok ...um why does this matter ....


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## Wonko The Sane (Nov 15, 2002)

Doesn't...just bothered my crazy grammatical mind and I had to say something.

Feel free to ignore it.


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## Anira the Elf (Nov 17, 2002)

i know. stuff like that bugs me too. but then again my mom is a teacher and majored in English so why would it bug me at all... wonko's right, by the way ( or should i say 'by the way, wonko's right' ??? )

i donno what i would feel if the ilm was directed by u. i love PJ and praise him often. so, i'd keep it the way it is cept for a few things here and there. ok. alot of things. but thats beside the point.


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## Wonko The Sane (Nov 18, 2002)

As a serious response to this thread I wouldn't want to change a thing about this movie.
Not that I don't think you could do a good job directing it, sure you have no experience and stuff, but maybe you're a genius in a canvas chair, I don't know. 
What I DO know is that this movie--although some of the aspects were disappointing in what was left out or what changed--met my expectations fully. So much of it was exactly as I pictured, and to see it on the big screen was just breathtaking. I was pleased with the film, it was as good as I'd hoped and I don't think that I'd have it changed, even if we COULD have seen Galadriel's gifts to The Fellowship, or left out all the Arwen extras.


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## Anira the Elf (Nov 19, 2002)

ya! they didn't put in that one guy/elf in the movie. they ended up giving Arwen too much credit. but i totaly agree with u on everything wonks.


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## Wonko The Sane (Nov 20, 2002)

Glorfindel...
Yeah. I would really have liked to see him in it as Glorfindel's a beast and one of my favorite Elves.
But still, I think people rag on PJ too much.
He did such an excellent job, I mean...sure Sam's accent was minging...and he could have included more Brits in the cast to make it more authentic, but still it was amazing and I wouldn't change it!
I mean...those characters just come to life...Viggo Mortenson IS Aragorn...


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## Anira the Elf (Nov 20, 2002)

also if u look at the extra features on the Lort:FotR DVD the y tell u somewhere that Viggo was the most into the whole thing.

If _I_ had directed the film it would have been a way, way longer movie.


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## Legolas_lover12 (Nov 21, 2002)

yes, i would just make it longer too. otha than that it is gr8


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## Wonko The Sane (Nov 22, 2002)

Um...I haven't seen the extended DVD version, but I heard from a very reliable and quite delectable source that it's just TOO long that way...

Anyway...yeah. The End. I'll reserve MY judgement till I see it.


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## Halasían (Jun 23, 2018)

I would write the screenplay and direct it, and I could have made it closer to the books without losing any of the 'movie appeal'.


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## Kinofnerdanel (Jun 23, 2018)

I would have started with 10 other movies about the Silmarillion


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## Olorgando (Sep 1, 2019)

Me, a director? Easy one. Within five minutes into the (attempt at) a first take:
a) (bad case) Cast and crew would have presented me with a unanimous decision that if I do not step down they will lynch me, or
b) (good case) I'm alone on the *bleeping* set, as all of Cast and crew have left it (except for those that have not recovered sufficiently from their ROTFL attack to be able to walk again).
Get real! What one should realize at my age is, at a minimum, what one is very definitely not good at! 🤣


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