# Star Wars has everything over the Titanic



## HLGStrider (Jun 23, 2005)

This is a bit outdated (it was originally written during Titantic's release on video, I believe), but I just found it and I think it's hilarious.



[size=+2]Star Wars vs. Titanic[/size]



Titanic's big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive. 

Star Wars has WAY cooler action figure potential. 

Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water. 

Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is just marriage bait. 

Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage. 

When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it. 

It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun. 

Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral. 

Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship. 

We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for fun. 

Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? 

People have not lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star Wars on the bow of a cruise liner. 

Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hut. 

Two words: John Williams. 

There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars. 

Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"? 

If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key. 

Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes. 

We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated "Luke... I am your father"? Han Solo would've missed the dang iceberg!


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## KPurpleRainbow (Jul 9, 2005)

"Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith" has been called 'Titanic in space.'


It's WAY better than Titanic. 

But I still prefer Kate Winslet over that skeleton Natalie Portman.


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## Hammersmith (Jul 10, 2005)

Agreed to all of the above. KPR, your username is frighteningly familiar. Do you/did you post on any other forums?


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## KPurpleRainbow (Jul 10, 2005)

Hammersmith said:


> Agreed to all of the above. KPR, your username is frighteningly familiar. Do you/did you post on any other forums?




Yes.


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## Mooky87 (Jul 12, 2005)

That was really good! I loved it! I love both Natalie and Kate. They are great actresses!!


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## Corvis (Nov 21, 2005)

Something that has bothered me is that for twenty years Star Wars was numer 1 for most grossing film of all time with about $480,000,000 (I believe that's the right amount) but then Titanic comes along and beats Star Wars for the top spot with over $600,000,000. However,ticket prices costed a lot more in 1997 than they did in 1977 so if you do the math more people went to see Star Wars than Titanic. So the money made means nothing when it comes down to who is number 1 at the box office.


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## Firawyn (Nov 26, 2005)

Ham agreed. 

And on another note....add all six movies together.....

TITANIC IS SUNK!!!!


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