# A New Low?



## baragund (Feb 23, 2004)

Last weekend, I took my 9-year-old to a birthday party at a place that had, among other things, a video arcade. Inside the arcade there was (are you ready?) a LOTR *pinball machine*, complete with depictions of all of our favorite characters and scenes from the LOTR films.

I stared at the thing for a few minutes, listening to the blinks, blonks, bells, sirens, explosions, etc. etc. emanating from it as the full impact of the absurdity of the thing sank in. Not only is it a particularly heinous example of the crass commercialism that engulfs blockbuster movies these days, but also I don’t think somebody could have dreamed up something that is more diametrically opposed to the spirit of Middle-earth if they had a think tank working on it 24/7!

Think of all of the vistas and environments that JRRT created in his writings; the bucolic harmony of the Shire, the eerie stillness of the Barrow Downs (oops, that doesn’t count) the comfortable seclusion of Rivendell, the silent ruins of Moria, the paradise-like Lothlorien, the prairies of Rohan with the wind whispering through the grasses, the dignity of Minas Tirith and its surrounding lands, the brooding terror of Minas Morgul, the ancient majesty of Fangorn and the Old Forest (that doesn’t count either), the gentle serenity of the Gray Havens. Now think of all that being represented by a clanking pinball machine! JRRT must be spinning in his grave (er, bouncing off the bumpers may be more appropriate here)

I don’t think my reaction is unreasonable. I happen to enjoy the films for what they are and I can appreciate the filmmakers wanting to make as much off of merchandising as they can. I also happen to love pinball games. But this just struck me as too out-of-whack.

Has anybody else seen a LOTR pinball machine? What does the rest of the gang think? Am I overreacting?


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## Sarde (Feb 23, 2004)

I thank God that I have not seen any LotR pinball machines.  You are not overreacting. It is crazy.


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## Bucky (Feb 23, 2004)

_Has anybody else seen a LOTR pinball machine? What does the rest of the gang think? Am I overreacting?
_

No, not at all......

I think a rally/protest is in order.

We can all gather outside the factory where the pinball machines are made & sing "We shall overcome."


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## Snaga (Feb 23, 2004)

You mean you didn't wantonly destroy it? You are under-reacting!


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## Ol'gaffer (Feb 23, 2004)

Hmm.

oh the countless Euros that I've spent on this machine. 

I don't know about anyone else, but I think that this is a fun arcade thingy. Not as fun as Dance Dance Revolution, but that's another story.

I'm not bothered by it at all, it's just a silly bit of commercialism that is everywhere, might as well enjoy it.


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## Confusticated (Feb 23, 2004)

I haven't seen this pinball machine but I have encountered other products. Dark Lords... greedy corperations, Saurons of the world, are profiting off of this.


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## baragund (Feb 23, 2004)

Hmmm....

The purist in me wants to embrace Snaga's approach. A few well-placed blows with a 16 lb. (that's around 7 1/4 kg for the rest of the world) sledge hammer would make me feel better.  _[Now I need to put on my 'responsible adult' hat and remind everyone that I mean that in jest and I don't really advocate the destruction of property in any way.]_ 

Nom's remark makes me wonder.... What is the *tackiest and most tasteless* example of commercial exploitation of JRRT's works that you have seen?

Before I saw the pinball game, I would have said the little figurines that came with a Burger King (I think) kids meal after FOTR came out in the theaters. 

Can anybody top the LOTR Pinball Game for sheer tackiness and lack of taste?


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## rs691919 (Feb 23, 2004)

baragund said:


> Can anybody top the LOTR Pinball Game for sheer tackiness and lack of taste?




The movies? Oh, that was tooooooo easy!


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## Confusticated (Feb 23, 2004)

Hi baragund! There are a few I can't recall right now, but some that I do remember would be Burger King (as you mentioned) and LotR on Soda cans! Soda... nothing but water, sugar and chemicals! Aimed at children (no doubt) at that!

I was unfortunate enough to be called into a room where some MTV awards were being watched, and Gollum came out to accept an award. I didn't have the heart to tell me mother who called me in out of knowing I love LotR, how tasteless I found that a character of JRRT was on TV using such profanity. Now I'm not some angel who never uses it myself, or who is offended by its general use... but a character of JRRT? Not that Gollum would have been above uttering such things if he existed in our modern times... but all the same something about this was unsettling. I am aware that some fans enjoyed this, I read some praise of it at this forum... and maybe it is me who took the thing too seriously... but can't help a gut reaction!


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## Ol'gaffer (Feb 24, 2004)

Nóm said:


> Hi baragund! There are a few I can't recall right now, but some that I do remember would be Burger King (as you mentioned) and LotR on Soda cans! Soda... nothing but water, sugar and chemicals! Aimed at children (no doubt) at that!
> 
> I was unfortunate enough to be called into a room where some MTV awards were being watched, and Gollum came out to accept an award. I didn't have the heart to tell me mother who called me in out of knowing I love LotR, how tasteless I found that a character of JRRT was on TV using such profanity. Now I'm not some angel who never uses it myself, or who is offended by its general use... but a character of JRRT? Not that Gollum would have been above uttering such things if he existed in our modern times... but all the same something about this was unsettling. I am aware that some fans enjoyed this, I read some praise of it at this forum... and maybe it is me who took the thing too seriously... but can't help a gut reaction!



I was rolling on the floor in tears, laughing so hard it hurt when I saw that.

I thought that every purist in the world was cheering when Gollum called PJ a "lousy hack!"

It was possibly the funniest thing I've seen in a long, long time. Funnier than a cat on a tramboline.


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## Confusticated (Feb 24, 2004)

Ol'gaffer said:


> I was rolling on the floor in tears, laughing so hard it hurt when I saw that.



Well... then you have to admit it was painful to watch.


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## Sarde (Feb 24, 2004)

I didn't find the Gollum thing funny at all. I must be getting too old for MTV thingies.


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## Snaga (Feb 24, 2004)

baragund said:


> The purist in me wants to embrace Snaga's approach.


As long as you recognise I am not motivated at all by purism, but just the orcish love of destruction!

I am thinking I should launch a Lord of the Rings Agent Orange brand, just to get the most inappropriate exploitation award!


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## Sarah (Feb 24, 2004)

My dad mentioned that he saw one at a movie theatre last weekend in boston. I wish i had went. I'd have spent the two hours he was in the movies playing that game!


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## Deleted member 3778 (Feb 24, 2004)

What about all the painfully ridiculous, chunky, oversized plastic toys they're selling? _“Boromir and Lurtz-pack…relive the scene! See how Boromir desperately tries to call for help with tiny pathetic horn, while Lurtz ruthlessly shoots him full of arrows. A great gift for any seven-year old fan!” _ >.<

such fun…


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## Aulë (Feb 24, 2004)

I saw some LotR-printed toilet paper today....! 
Poor Frodo and Sam: and they thought the trip to Mordor was dangerous.....


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## Gandalf White (Feb 24, 2004)

Aulë said:


> I saw some LotR-printed toilet paper today....!
> Poor Frodo and Sam: and they thought the trip to Mordor was dangerous.....



Yes, now they must travel to the crack of doom several times daily...


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## Sarde (Feb 24, 2004)

Are you serious??? Toilet paper???


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## Aulë (Feb 24, 2004)

Yep, everyone's favourite Tolkien characters are now being flushed down a toilet on a regular basis...


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## Sarde (Feb 24, 2004)

I'm not one of those who holds Tolkien's works sacred, but I am tempted to call this blasphemous. I mean, people wiping their butt with Frodo??? Maybe something for the opponents of the movie on this site?


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## Sarah (Feb 24, 2004)

Ithilin said:


> What about all the painfully ridiculous, chunky, oversized plastic toys they're selling? _“Boromir and Lurtz-pack…relive the scene! See how Boromir desperately tries to call for help with tiny pathetic horn, while Lurtz ruthlessly shoots him full of arrows. A great gift for any seven-year old fan!” _ >.<
> 
> such fun…



Hey! I collect those! I have, at the moment, Sam in Mordor armour, Pippin with armour from Minas Tirith, and Helm's Deep Aragorn. I also have Legolas and Gimli on horseback. But that doesn't include all my pewter figures, or my snowglobe...


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## baragund (Feb 25, 2004)

Hi Nom!!  

When you were talking about Gollum at the MTV awards, did you mean Andy Serkis (spelling?) the actor or was it Gollum the character? If it was Gollum the movie character, then yes, that must have been pretty wierd and pretty tacky!

I dunno.... I think the LOTR toilet paper is tackier than the pinball machine.


"...travel to the crack of doom several times daily...", GW, that was _very_ funny!! What is it? ROTFLOL I believe


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## Gandalf White (Feb 25, 2004)

baragund said:


> When you were talking about Gollum at the MTV awards, did you mean Andy Serkis (spelling?) the actor or was it Gollum the character? If it was Gollum the movie character, then yes, that must have been pretty wierd and pretty tacky!



Actually, both were there. Gollum was doing all the cussing and swearing, with Andy Serkis looking embarassed. It's the on the TT:EE if you want to see it...


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 25, 2004)

baragund said:


> ...
> 
> I stared at the thing for a few minutes, listening to the blinks, blonks, bells, sirens, explosions, etc. etc. emanating from it as the full impact of the absurdity of the thing sank in....
> Has anybody else seen a LOTR pinball machine? What does the rest of the gang think? Am I overreacting?



You're fine. You just need to understand two things: (1) If there is money to be made _any way at all,_ someone will think of it. (2) There are those who hold _nothing_ "sacred."

Lotho


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## elf_queen (Feb 29, 2004)

The LotR pinball machine is cool! I played on it while my mom and dad were doing completely frivolous things like looking for furnature.  I think that anything that has to do with LotR is the coolest thing in the world. 

Check that last statement. TOILET PAPER????? LotR TOILET PAPER??? That's just plain absurd. There's no other word for it. 

Oh wait, how about nuts, crazy,...


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## baragund (Mar 1, 2004)

Hmmmmm....

I think the LOTR toilet paper takes the cake for being the most tasteless example of merchandising. Worse than the pinball machine.


Can anybody top LOTR toilet paper for sheer tackiness, lack of taste, vulgarity, etc. etc.?


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## Arvedui (Mar 1, 2004)

Peter Jackson has topped it numerous times...


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## Parrot (Mar 1, 2004)

baragund said:


> Hmmmmm....
> 
> I think the LOTR toilet paper takes the cake for being the most tasteless example of merchandising.


Did you taste it before, or after?


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## Sarde (Mar 1, 2004)

Parrot said:


> Did you taste it before, or after?



   ROTFLMAO!!!   

That's just disgusting!


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## Deleted member 3778 (Mar 1, 2004)

this may or may not be appropriate, but I remember one incident where my art class had recieved the "honour" of deciding how the bathroom walls were to be painted (don't ask - it was a psyco school >.< ) 

anyway, me and my friends naturally wanted everything to be LotR-ish, even the toilet seats (_the One Ring, third stall from the left_) so maybe that toilet paper wasn't so useless afterall


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## Barliman Butterbur (Mar 1, 2004)

baragund said:


> ...
> 
> Can anybody top LOTR toilet paper for sheer tackiness, lack of taste, vulgarity, etc. etc.?



Sure, but this is a family-friendly board!

Lotho


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## baragund (Jul 6, 2004)

This thread is dedicated to heinous examples of crass commercialism that exploit LOTR and anything Tolkienesque. I've discovered a couple of updates on this that I'd like to share with the gang.  

As the parents of small children, and especially since my wife is an elementary school teacher, this particular branch of the House of Beor receives catalogs in the mail for all kinds of wacky kids stuff. One of these is a catalog dedicated to supplies for children's birthday parties. Now my youngest is approaching her 6th birthday so I go ahead and flip through the thing one afternoon. Sure enough, along with Harry Potter, Powerpuff Girls, Kimpossible, Sponge Bob Squarepants, etc. is a birthday party set with a LOTR theme!  Paper plates, cups, napkins, streamers and party favors with all of your favorite characters and scenes from the New Line films. 

Then last weekend we're doing the grocery shopping and I see Viggo whats-his-name as Aragorn plastered on a box of Cap'n Crunch cereal.

What at world! Anybody else have new examples of gross commercial exploitation of M-E?


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## baragund (Jul 6, 2007)

Let's bump up this thread with a new sample of LOTR commercialism:

I was flipping through the pages of a tabloid the other day. (Of course this was while standing on line at the supermarket checkout. I would never actually buy one of these things.) There I found I found and advertisement for a LOTR _train set_. I think this beats the pinball machine described above for sheer weirdness, but not as tacky as the toilet paper.


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