# Who Is The Stinkiest Member Or The Fellowship?



## Elbereth (Jan 13, 2004)

I wasn't sure where to put this thread...because although it is relative to the movies...it is simply too silly and lighthearted to include in that section. So here it is in S&B. 

You see while watching several scenes in both TTT and RofTK, I often wondered just how rank and odorous those poor members of the fellowship actually were. This was not something we think of when we are reading the books though, since the visuals are not really there....but when you see the filth and sweat and blood, it makes you think. 

Think about it. The characters of the fellowship had been traveling for months without bathing, living in filth and sweating and bleeding all over themselves and goodness knows what else. The must have really been smelly don't you think? 

Then it got me thinking. Which member of the fellowship would be the stinkiest?

But I simply couldn't decide. So I am leaving the decision in your hands:

*WHO IS THE STINKIEST MEMBER OR THE FELLOWSHIP? *


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## celebdraug (Jan 13, 2004)

I have not met any of the characters of the movie so i cant tell who smells like what!    

But acting wise, i have to say it was Legolas! They made him sooooo....  GIRLY! and he does not have a majour role to play (not that i had a problem with that) but he is soo cool in the book (with the little he has got to say in them). But i gottta say some og his stunts were just hilarious (the horse part in TTT) abd he was a ok fighter BUT ARAGORN was better! 
And i have a think for guys with blonde hair and blue eyse, BUT he is an exception! (and that was just a wig! MUAHAHAHA)


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## Persephone (Jan 13, 2004)

I posted others, because I really dislike Celeborn, he seems powerful enough, but he does absolutely NOTHING for the war. Even when Lothlorien was attacked 3 times, it was Galadriel who had to do something...talk about being completely helpless.

But I've heard word that in Sil he did a lot of things....must get a copy of Sil!


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## Talierin (Jan 13, 2004)

No, no, you guys have this wrong.... it's not which character is your least fave, or which one was acted out the worst, it's which character would have smelled the worst after having trekked across Middle-earth... you know, sweat, grime, filth, no baths, etc...

I voted for Legolas because... well.... just because...


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## Dáin Ironfoot I (Jan 13, 2004)

Being a Maia, I bet Gandalf hasnt bathed for a few hundred years (ewww!) Becoming the White was probably an effect of washing those grimy grey garmants!


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 13, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> You see while watching several scenes in both TTT and RofTK, I often wondered just how rank and odorous those poor members of the fellowship actually were. This was not something we think of when we are reading the books though, since the visuals are not really there....but when you see the filth and sweat and blood, it makes you think.
> 
> Think about it. The characters of the fellowship had been traveling for months without bathing, living in filth and sweating and bleeding all over themselves and goodness knows what else. The must have really been smelly don't you think?
> 
> ...



This is indeed a weighty matter! 

Frankly I should say that _all_ of them most likely got pretty intensely ripe in each other's nostrils, considering where they went and what they did. 

I do not think it wise however, to extend this discussion to any other bodily aspects or functions...

Lotho


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## Persephone (Jan 13, 2004)

Talierin said:


> No, no, you guys have this wrong.... it's not which character is your least fave, or which one was acted out the worst, it's which character would have smelled the worst after having trekked across Middle-earth... you know, sweat, grime, filth, no baths, etc...
> 
> I voted for Legolas because... well.... just because...



Oh...well then Gimli should be in the lead. He looks filthy - dwarves are not known to be clean beings so he is the stinkiest.
 
Legolas come one, he may smell bad, but he doesn't look like it.


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## Turin (Jan 13, 2004)

Gimli is awsome, no matter how stinkey he is. Actually I think that they'd all be pretty stinky, unless the elves gave them some special deodrant made of malorn leaves or something. I voted for Legolas, as Tal says, just because.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 13, 2004)

Turin said:


> Gimli is awsome, no matter how stinkey he is. Actually I think that they'd all be pretty stinky, unless the elves gave them some special deodrant made of malorn leaves or something. I voted for Legolas, as Tal says, just because.



Ha ha ha! Good thought! One begins to wonder just what kind of cottage industries could be started from the uses of pulverized mallorn leaves!

Lotho


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## Niirewen (Jan 13, 2004)

Boromir's hair looks the greasiest in the movie. Ha ha, it's sad that I pay attention to these things.


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## Beorn (Jan 13, 2004)

I voted for Frodo....after all he did kinda tramp across the Dead Marshes, and through the filth of Mordor....with Orc attire...Hrmm....


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## HLGStrider (Jan 13, 2004)

I voted for Boromir for a pretty obvious reasons. The others may be not bathing, but they are alive not bathing. Boromir is dead not bathing which means he is also rotting which means he is also stinking a lot more. . .


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## Legolam (Jan 14, 2004)

To be honest, even when in Rivendell, I don't think Aragorn was ever really clean. The only time he looked remotely like he didn't stink to high heaven was on his coronation, and even then I bet there was a lingering smell. He's a ranger, has been for a very long time, and I think that, living out in the wild, his standards have slipped somewhat.

I would have said Gandalf for the same reasons, but for the point that's already been brought up, that he got cleaned up before getting sent back.


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## celebdraug (Jan 14, 2004)

Dáin Ironfoot I said:


> Being a Maia, I bet Gandalf hasnt bathed for a few hundred years (ewww!) Becoming the White was probably an effect of washing those grimy grey garmants!


 HAHAHAHA!
But compared to Aragorn he looked pretty clean you know.....


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 14, 2004)

Legolam said:


> To be honest, even when in Rivendell, I don't think Aragorn was ever really clean. The only time he looked remotely like he didn't stink to high heaven was on his coronation, and even then I bet there was a lingering smell. He's a ranger, has been for a very long time, and I think that, living out in the wild, his standards have slipped somewhat.
> 
> I would have said Gandalf for the same reasons, but for the point that's already been brought up, that he got cleaned up before getting sent back.



Actually, the last time ANY of them had a bath for sure was at the house in Crickhollow, and that was only the hobbits! After that it's never mentioned again... 

Lotho


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## Legolam (Jan 14, 2004)

That's disgusting. I bathe at least once a month ...

... whether I need it or not


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## celebdraug (Jan 14, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> Actually, the last time ANY of them had a bath for sure was at the house in Crickhollow, and that was only the hobbits! After that it's never mentioned again...
> Lotho


Man! That is SICK! and im having huch here......  
Well, they could have secret baths and which are not mentioned in the books!
Thats just the character in the book! The actors probably had a bath everyday! (well i pope so anyway!   )


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 14, 2004)

Legolam said:


> That's disgusting. I bathe at least once a month ...
> 
> ... whether I need it or not



You and I are similar. I do the same with changing my socks and underwear: I throw 'em against the wall. If they stick, I change 'em whether I need to or not. When I was in the Air Force, my sergeant would yell at me, "Come along you, what's holding you up?" And I would say, "My dirty socks..."

Lotho


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## celebdraug (Jan 14, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> You and I are similar. I do the same with changing my socks and underwear: I throw 'em against the wall. If they stick, I change 'em whether I need to or not. When I was in the Air Force, my sergeant would yell at me, "Come along you, what's holding you up?" And I would say, "My dirty socks..."
> Lotho


Grosse!!!! Well tell me that atleast you shower if you dont have a bath!


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## FIRELILY (Jan 14, 2004)

GIMLI!!!!!!! He just looks like a fat ball of...of..well..stink. The thick, matted beard, filled with bits of past meals, trapping the sweat underneath, probably some small dead animals in it too. Even if he washed, I don't think he'd hit all the vital areas. Legolas could not possibly be the stinkiest-his hair, skin etc. is too perfect. I think he (and other elves) just naturally repel grime and smelliness. Maybe that's one reason elves and dwarves didn't usually get along-elves just found dwarves too gnarly to hang out with. :/


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## Legolam (Jan 14, 2004)

Actually Celebdraug, in Scotland we don't have running water. I bathe in the local stream that runs by the town's latrines


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 14, 2004)

celebdraug said:


> Grosse!!!! Well tell me that atleast you shower if you dont have a bath!



Of course I do! I stand out in the rain during the rainy season, which in L.A. is at least 3 days a year!

Lotho


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## celebdraug (Jan 14, 2004)

Are you two "pulling my leg"??


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 14, 2004)

celebdraug said:


> Are you two "pulling my leg"??



Ah, you felt the tug, eh?

Ya no wot I stinks? I stinks dis thread iz becumming da most important wun in da hole TTF!

Lotho


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## Niirewen (Jan 14, 2004)

Eww.. I think this thread is getting a little too gross for me.. haha


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 14, 2004)

Niirewen said:


> Eww.. I think this thread is getting a little too gross for me.. haha



Ah! NOW we're getting somewhere!

Lotho


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## celebdraug (Jan 14, 2004)

i think we should get away from the topic of who has a bath or not and back to the original topic: "Who was the worse actor!?"
before someone pukes. lol


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 14, 2004)

celebdraug said:


> i think we should get away from the topic of who has a bath or not and back to the original topic: "Who was the worse actor!?"
> before someone pukes. lol



That wasn't the theme. The theme was who, literally, was the stinkiest, the smelliest! I think we're just getting warmed up!

Lotho


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 14, 2004)

FIRELILY said:


> GIMLI!!!!!!! He just looks like a fat ball of...of..well..stink. The thick, matted beard, filled with bits of past meals, trapping the sweat underneath, probably some small dead animals in it too. Even if he washed, I don't think he'd hit all the vital areas. Legolas could not possibly be the stinkiest-his hair, skin etc. is too perfect. I think he (and other elves) just naturally repel grime and smelliness. Maybe that's one reason elves and dwarves didn't usually get along-elves just found dwarves too gnarly to hang out with. :/



PHOOO! Now _that's_ what I call *graphic!*

Lotho


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## celebdraug (Jan 14, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> That wasn't the theme. The theme was who, literally, was the stinkiest, the smelliest! I think we're just getting warmed up!
> Lotho


I was tring to awoid the word stinkiest! lol

On topic:
I think that Gimli would be the secong stimest person! his beard is sooo slimey and god knows what he is hiding in there!  !
eek!


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## Elfhelm25 (Jan 14, 2004)

Haha. Gimli. Think about it. That heavy armor, food in his beard, possibly centuries old, grimy face........just imagine the breath from all that RED MEAT OF THE BONE. All in all, a cool, but stinky stinky character.


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## Persephone (Jan 14, 2004)

LOL!!!

Well my ranking will be:

GIMLI - for obvious reasons
ARAGORN - Because He needed to be stinky so no one will know he's the King - he wouldn't smell like one 
BOROMIR - cause like HG said, he's rotting plus he hasn't bathed so he also stinks.
SAM - Because of the four hobbits, Sam was the scruffiest even in description in the Book.
Merry / Pippin
Frodo - He was the Heir to Bilbo's "mansion-like" Bag-End so he should have _some_ class.
Legolas - He won't smell bad because he doesn't eat that much, plus elves have put an impression to me that they are extremely VAIN so he's probably looking into his looks and total aura everytime.
GANDALF - Old men don't smell as bad as young ones. Cause they don't perspire as much. Though they smell old, sometimes that's not so bad.


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## Sarah (Jan 14, 2004)

I think it was gollum, cuz he didn't bathe even before the expidition.


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## Persephone (Jan 14, 2004)

Oh yeah, Gollum is stinky, I mean talk about 500 years of nothing but raw fish! YOu'd stink up pretty bad too! Plus he doesn't really scrub when in the water, he just waddles in and catches fish, then goes straight out. Plus he also likes eating small orcs  and small goblins, man that's worse than onions!!!


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## Nimawae's hope (Jan 14, 2004)

Narya said:


> Oh yeah, Gollum is stinky, I mean talk about 500 years of nothing but raw fish! YOu'd stink up pretty bad too! Plus he doesn't really scrub when in the water, he just waddles in and catches fish, then goes straight out. Plus he also likes eating small orcs  and small goblins, man that's worse than onions!!!




I agree. That orc-eating thing alone has got to create some pretty foul smells. I can't decide though who would smell the worst......after that quest it's got to be pretty bad. You know, maybe the elves would be the worst. Out of their element and all that. Sure, they _look_ perfect, but no one ever said they _smelled_ perfect. Just a thought.


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## Elfhelm25 (Jan 14, 2004)

[GANDALF - Old men don't smell as bad as young ones. Cause they don't perspire as much. Though they smell old, sometimes that's not so bad.)

Obviously youve never volunteered in an old folk's home.


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## Persephone (Jan 14, 2004)

Elfhelm25 said:


> [GANDALF - Old men don't smell as bad as young ones. Cause they don't perspire as much. Though they smell old, sometimes that's not so bad.)
> 
> Obviously youve never volunteered in an old folk's home.





Well, no I had a grandma living with me till the day she died, and she smelled nice - always smelled like cookies, and powder. She puts a lot of Johnson's Baby powder on her body after she wakes up - she only takes a bath once a year when she was alive, but I never smelled her bad - maybe I was immune, or maybe because I love her so much, the smell didn't matter  .

Anyway, I don't understand why you'd even think of old people smelling terrible  That wasn't very nice.  (just joking!!! )


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 15, 2004)

Narya said:


> LOL!!!
> GANDALF - Old men don't smell as bad as young ones. Cause they don't perspire as much. Though they smell old, sometimes that's not so bad.



Your knowledge of old-man odors — fascinating!

Lotho


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## Persephone (Jan 15, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> Your knowledge of old-man odors — fascinating!
> 
> Lotho




I know, isn't it amazing??? (DUH!)


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## Elbereth (Jan 16, 2004)

I'm still very torn on the stink factor of the fellowship:

I think I will break it down: (10= most odorous)

#10: Gollum: he was described as smelly, and slimey. He ate lots of raw fish and had little regard for his personal well being. 

#9: Three way tie: Aragorn, Gimli, and Boromir

This was was a tough one....
Aragorn although he is regal enough...as a ranger I do not think hygiene was a top priority on his list. 
Gimli, he just appeared sloppy...although he did always manage to have a freshly braided beard...so I would assume he would take great pride in caring for himself. But he is big and brutish and I'm sure he sweated very easily...not pleasant at all.
Boromir, a soldier by trade, I'm sure he did not spend great deal of time cleaning himself. And with the decomposing flesh and all...he would rank up there as one of the stinkiest.

#6: Gandalf: although I think normally he would bathe regularly in normal circumstances...since his mind was occupied with other things...bathing not a top priority...and besides...no offense to older men but even though they sweat less...their breath become very gross indeed.

#5: four way tie: The hobbits: I think of all of the fellowship, the hobbits would care the most about their personal hygiene the most since they like maintaining the pleasantries of their hobbit lifestyle the best they can...regardless of where they are. However, because of their circumstances...they had no choice but to get pretty rank....
Merry and Pippen - spending night and day riding on the backs of those foul, dirty orcs. 
And Frodo and Sam having to trudge through the dead marshes and the ash of mordor wearing orc gear. 
The smell must have been foul indeed

#1: Legolas: I believe that he was the least foul smelling of the fellowship only because he is Elven. I am assuming that the elves are most civilized of all the races and hygiene would be most important. Legolas never had a beard...which meant less hair to stink up....he also managed to be beyond the natural elements....for example when he was able to walk above the snows of the misty mountains while the others had to trudge through it. For some reason I can see dirt just naturally repelling off of the elven race for some reason...and therefore he would be the least rank of the crew. 

well folks that is my list!

And as for the best smelling of the Lord of the Rings books....I would give that to Galadriel. She seems to be the most fair of all...and I could just imagine her smelling of sweet, calming flowers.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 16, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> I'm still very torn on the stink factor of the fellowship:
> 
> I think I will break it down: (10= most odorous)



How about a range of 1-10, 1 being "fresh and clean," 10 being "totally unbearable." The rest of you can fill in with descriptive adjectives for the other eight grades.



> ...no offense to older men but even though they sweat less...their breath becomes very gross indeed.



Hey! What old men have _you_ been hanging around lately? I for one am _very_ hygeinic! If you don't believe it, here, smell: _WHOOOOOOSHHHHH...._ See? Right up there with Galadriel!


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## celebdraug (Jan 16, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> Hey! What old men have _you_ been hanging around lately? I for one am _very_ hygeinic! If you don't believe it, here, smell: _WHOOOOOOSHHHHH...._ See? Right up there with Galadriel!


Lol! I think she was referring to SOME old men, not alll of em!


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## Elbereth (Jan 16, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> How about a range of 1-10, 1 being "fresh and clean," 10 being "totally unbearable." The rest of you can fill in with descriptive adjectives for the other eight grades.




Thanks for the advise....I was running low on adjectives last night at 1:45am. 




> Hey! What old men have _you_ been hanging around lately? I for one am _very_ hygeinic! If you don't believe it, here, smell: _WHOOOOOOSHHHHH...._ See? Right up there with Galadriel!



Sorry I didn't mean to offend you...I'm sure your breath is as sweet as a lily. I base it off of my grandfather and a few older uncles in my family...they may smell good...but I just don't want to get very close to them when we talk...


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## Barliman Butterbur (Jan 17, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> Thanks for the advise....I was running low on adjectives last night at 1:45am.
> Sorry I didn't mean to offend you...I'm sure your breath is as sweet as a lily. I base it off of my grandfather and a few older uncles in my family...they may smell good...but I just don't want to get very close to them when we talk...



Good Lord! Sorry you're having that trouble. Try giving them a mixture of ordinary toothpaste blended with pulverized mallorn leaves...

Lotho


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## Ireth Telrúnya (Jan 28, 2004)

According to some it's Aragorn... (Even Galadriel can smell him, though she doesn't see him!!! hehehe ROTHFLMAO!!!)


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## Sarde (Jan 28, 2004)

Anyway, Lotho, you're not even old. Old is 80 and up!


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## celebdraug (Jan 30, 2004)

> Anyway, Lotho, you're not even old


 And compared to Legolas and the other elves youre still a child!


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## FIRELILY (Jan 30, 2004)

No, no! It can't be Aragorn. Where is the element of surprise for a Ranger if his musky self can be whiffed-out 50 yards away? 
It's got to be Gimli. Dwarves aren't pretty (not even the women) or subtle and they take pride in those long, matted, crusty old beards. Their short, stocky builds leave lots of potential perspiration hot spots. A nice-smelling dwarf would surely be looked upon by his fellow dwarves with suspicion and be labeled a sissy.


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## Elbereth (Feb 3, 2004)

Actually when I think about it...I would say that Merry and Pippen would have been the best smelling of the Fellowship, since after the sacking of Isengard they were in fresh supply of the sweet smelling pipeweed, which I am sure would block out any pesky bodily odors.


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## FIRELILY (Feb 3, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> Actually when I think about it...I would say that Merry and Pippen would have been the best smelling of the Fellowship, since after the sacking of Isengard they were in fresh supply of the sweet smelling pipeweed, which I am sure would block out any pesky bodily odors.


Coming from a town where there are a lot of "neo-hippies" who use patchouli for that same purpose, I can tell you it DOESN'T work. 
However, I don't think the hobbits would be particularly smelly. I think that their concern with the simple/ordinary would extend to their daily hygiene.
Plus, being small might diminish their smellitude too.


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## grendel (Feb 3, 2004)

You've gotta think dwarves were the least interested in hygeine.


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## Elbereth (Feb 4, 2004)

and here is a funny thought that popped into my head just now....I was trying to think about how Sauruman would smell like...it came to me that he would probably smell like light talcum powder and faint English Leather cologne. Maybe it is just me...


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## Nimawae's hope (Feb 4, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> and here is a funny thought that popped into my head just now....I was trying to think about how Sauruman would smell like...it came to me that he would probably smell like light talcum powder and faint English Leather cologne. Maybe it is just me...



LOL! For some strange reason that seems perfectly logical. I don't know why. So, would that make him the best smelling or the worst?


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## Persephone (Feb 5, 2004)

Talcum Powder and british cologne? Come on Elby!!! Saruman is NOTHING like that! To me he should smell like old sheets - you know the ones you see on discount stores! I don't know how to describe them, though when you get one, it's distinct.

As for Gandalf, when he became the White - he strikes me as someone who smells like VerNel.

I think the best smelling of all the people of middle earth would be Galadriel - she strikes me as someone who smells like...like...spring!


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 5, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> Actually when I think about it...I would say that Merry and Pippen would have been the best smelling of the Fellowship, since after the sacking of Isengard they were in fresh supply of the sweet smelling pipeweed, which I am sure would block out any pesky bodily odors.



Good God, this thread is still going! Anyway, what lass in her right mind would want to French kiss a couple of hobbits whose breath smell from beer and pipe tobacco??!

Lotho


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 5, 2004)

celebdraug said:


> And compared to Legolas and the other elves youre still a child!



Hey Cel, you just earned a place on my Buddy List!

Lotho


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 5, 2004)

FIRELILY said:


> Coming from a town where there are a lot of "neo-hippies" who use patchouli for that same purpose, I can tell you it DOESN'T work.
> However, I don't think the hobbits would be particularly smelly. I think that their concern with the simple/ordinary would extend to their daily hygiene.
> Plus, being small might diminish their smellitude too.



"SMELLITUDE"???!!!



Lotho


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 5, 2004)

Sarde said:


> Anyway, Lotho, you're not even old. Old is 80 and up!



"Old" is anyone 15 years older than I am at any given age.

Lotho


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## Sarde (Feb 5, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> "Old" is anyone 15 years older than I am at any given age.
> 
> Lotho



Well, then for me 'old' is anyone 54 years older than I am at any given age. Which will soon leave hardly any old people!


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 5, 2004)

BTW Sarde, your signature is brilliant!

Lotho


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## Sarde (Feb 5, 2004)

Thanks.  My dad really likes it too. I sent him an e-mail and he called me on the phone to say he loved my signature (I use it in e-mails too).


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## Ireth Telrúnya (Feb 6, 2004)

Sarde, I thought this too. Though I didn't comment on it. I've heard this before but I didn't know it was Vaclaw Havel who said it. He's a writer isn't he? (Besides being a president) 
I came to know this is very true after having meeting too many people who thought that they had found the truth already...I also thougth this myself for some time until I realized that it wasn't really so.


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## Sarde (Feb 6, 2004)

I actually realised that I myself sometimes tend to be a know-it-all and so my siggie is also there to remind me of something. 

But it is a fact that no one knows THE truth. There is not THE truth, really. Or maybe it is there, but we have no way of knowing it...


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## Elbereth (Feb 8, 2004)

ok folks...let's stay on topic now.

Now I just saw the RoTK again last night...and I realized that a few of the fellowship had more opportunities to clean up than I first realized. 

When the gang returns back to Edoras after picking up the two hobbits in Isengard...they clean up then. Which gives everyone in the fellowship minus Sam, Frodo and Boromir (of course because he is dead)...a chance to be fresh and clean... 

Then also after the battle of Minas Tirith...we also see the fellowship there cleaned up again as well. 

The only two remaining fellowship members who do not have a chance to clean up at all since they left Rivendell was Sam and Frodo...so although they were more inclined to clean than the rest...they really had no opportunity to do so. 

So unfortunately Frodo and Sam were the stinkiest of the fellowship. 

Any objections?


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## Elessar II (Feb 8, 2004)

Well, although all of the fellowship except for Sam and Frodo had chances to clean up, the question is, did they. For starters, Gimli doesn't strike me as the type of dude who's going to bathe when he's dirty, especially when there's war looming. And that brings up an interesting question, do dwarves bathe?


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 9, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> ...unfortunately Frodo and Sam were the stinkiest of the fellowship. Any objections?



Impeccable irrefutable logic!

Lotho


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## Ireth Telrúnya (Feb 9, 2004)

There were no stinky members in the fellowship all of them were pretty good... despite their smell before bath....


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## celebdraug (Feb 9, 2004)

suprisingly enought no one has voted for Sam, Pippen, and Merry. Sam did look pretty messed up in the third movie...


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## FIRELILY (Feb 9, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> "SMELLITUDE"???!!!
> 
> 
> 
> Lotho


Oops! Sorry. I MEANT to say "smelliosity". 

P.S. You'd be amazed at the number of "lasses" who think pipe tobacco and beer smells on small men with hairy feet are a good combo.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 9, 2004)

FIRELILY said:


> Oops! Sorry. I MEANT to say "smelliosity".
> 
> P.S. You'd be amazed at the number of "lasses" who think pipe tobacco and beer smells on small men with hairy feet are a good combo.



I would indeed!
 

Lotho


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## FIRELILY (Feb 9, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> ok folks...let's stay on topic now.
> 
> Now I just saw the RoTK again last night...and I realized that a few of the fellowship had more opportunities to clean up than I first realized.
> 
> ...


Um... yeah, me [looks around to see if any other hands are up]. 
I believe that Frodo and Sam had a chance to freshen up when they met up with Faramir and Co. But I really think because the hobbits loved the bath, they would've found any opportunity to "create" a bath i.e. showering in the rain, splashing the morning dew on their faces, whatever (I can see it now...Sam making a foot soak for Mr. Frodo with rainwater and herbs that he collected in his cooking pan).
Gimli, however, seems like he'd revel in his own ripe dwarf musk . Aaaaah! the smell of Khazad in the morning!

P.S. I love this thread.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 9, 2004)

FIRELILY said:


> Aaaaah! the smell of Khazad in the morning!
> 
> P.S. I love this thread.



There's a fortune to be made for whomever gets in on the ground floor of the bubble-bath market in Middle-earth!

Lotho


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## FIRELILY (Feb 9, 2004)

Lotho_Pimple said:


> There's a fortune to be made for whomever gets in on the ground floor of the bubble-bath market in Middle-earth!
> 
> Lotho


-or the clothespin market 

BUT....just to confound me, a friend has brought up to me that one can buy natural mineral crystal deodorants and that perhaps Gimli and/or dwarves in general could've used something like this in the pursuit of corpi dulci (ha! I'm pretending I remember Latin). I say, no water-no clean. But know water-know clean.


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## Niirewen (Feb 9, 2004)

Ha ha, is this thread still going? I never knew people could have such extensive conversations about hygiene..   It's very interesting though.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 9, 2004)

Niirewen said:


> Ha ha, is this thread still going? I never knew people could have such extensive conversations about hygiene..   It's very interesting though.



It does amaze, does it not? But still, I think that Gimli would enjoy jumping into a hot bubble bath (and selling bath powder packets to all his friends a la multilevel marketing) much more than scraping his armpits clean with no-smell crystals!

Lotho


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## Elessar II (Feb 9, 2004)

Oh, no question about it! The only problem with the bubble bath is the struggle we'd have getting Gimli out of his armor. The buildup of sweat, oils, dirt, and filth would make that job quite unpleasant I imagine.


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## Gandalf White (Feb 9, 2004)

I was looking at all the votes for poor Gimli and wondered, what proof do we have that Dwarves in general (or Gimli in particular) disliked to bathe? Where is this said, or implied?

I'm getting sick of the stereotypes, people!


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## Elbereth (Feb 10, 2004)

Elessar II said:


> Oh, no question about it! The only problem with the bubble bath is the struggle we'd have getting Gimli out of his armor. The buildup of sweat, oils, dirt, and filth would make that job quite unpleasant I imagine.



Actually with all the sweat and oil...I would think it would slide right off beautifully.  


And GandalfWhite, you do have a point...nowhere in the books does it imply that the dwarves were not hygenic...but it also does not imply that they were. So really, it is anyone's guess. 

The only characters that Tolkien really mentions having a foul smell was Gollum and the Orcs. But think about it folks....if Frodo and Sam had to travel with Gollum for an extended period of time...had to romp around with him....don't you think some of Gollum's smell would rub off on them? Think about it.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Feb 10, 2004)

Elbereth said:


> Actually with all the sweat and oil...I would think it would slide right off beautifully.
> 
> 
> And GandalfWhite, you do have a point...nowhere in the books does it imply that the dwarves were not hygenic...but it also does not imply that they were. So really, it is anyone's guess.
> ...



By golly folks, there's just no doubt about it in my mind any more: this thread is THE most profound, meaningful and just plain old by-golly-gee-whiz IMPORTANT thread anywhere on TTF! I'm going to do my part to keep it going FOREVER!!!

Lotho


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## Gandalf White (Feb 10, 2004)

You've helped me decide to cast my vote for 'Other,' being Gollum. 

As Elbereth said, Tolkien wrote that he smelled bad and I'm sure he wasn't one to keep clean. Yes, F & S had to travel a long way with him, but as someone pointed out, surely the hobbits would take any chance to clean up a bit, thereby being less dirty than Gollum.


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## Fechin (Feb 11, 2004)

Well Gollum he has to sink look at him. And why would anyone vote for Gandalf or Legolas. Legolas look clean as a whistle. Gimil also would not too well.


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## Elessar II (Feb 13, 2004)

Fechin said:


> Well Gollum he has to sink look at him. And why would anyone vote for Gandalf or Legolas. Legolas look clean as a whistle.



I don't think the people who voted Legolas as the stinkiest meant physically stinky...


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Apr 12, 2021)

I went sniffing around in the archives, and decided this smelly old poll needed a good airing.


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## Shadow (Apr 12, 2021)

Gimli is the obvious choice here.


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## Licky Linguist (Apr 12, 2021)

Boromir's boat may have capsized somewhere on the river, so he might be clean.


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## Ealdwyn (Apr 12, 2021)

I'm going for Other (non fellowship). Orcses is stinkiest, precious!


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## Elthir (Apr 12, 2021)

I don't even know who smelled worse between Slinker and Stinker!


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## Halasían (Apr 12, 2021)

The thread title specificly mentions _The Fellowship_ so I gave it to the dwarf. However, it would probably technically be whoever in the fellowship farted last. If a wider scope is used, then I understand some of the Uruk-Hai Saruman brewed up with his mannish-orc/orcish-man experimentations had a really powerful stench to them.


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## Olorgando (Apr 13, 2021)

Well, they all did a lot of "hiking" with no access to sanitary facilities; even if it was winter when they set out from Rivendell, you can still work up a sweat in difficult terrain. And it got warmer the further south they got.
So I would think a question to be asked would be "when were any members of the Fellowship at their stinkiest.

I think Sam and Frodo near the end of the Dead Marshes would probably win hands down. I mean. There is this one part where, to paraphrase, Sam, Frodo and Gollum basically agree there is nothing to choose between then stink-wise, as all three "... were slimed and fouled almost up to their necks and stank in one another's nostrils. ... '[_Sam speaking_] The stink nearly knocks me down with my nose held. You stink, and master stinks; the whole place stinks.' 'Yes, yes, and Sam stinks!' answered Gollum."


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## Ealdwyn (Apr 13, 2021)

Olorgando said:


> Well, they all did a lot of "hiking" with no access to sanitary facilities; even if it was winter when they set out from Rivendell, you can still work up a sweat in difficult terrain. And it got warmer the further south they got.


I'm pretty sure that mithril has anti-bacterial properties, and so his shirt would keep Frodo fresh and fragrant all the way to Cirith Ungol


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## Olorgando (Apr 13, 2021)

Ealdwyn said:


> I'm pretty sure that mithril has anti-bacterial properties, and so his shirt would keep Frodo fresh and fragrant all the way to Cirith Ungol


Be that as it may: in the Dead Marshes the stinky gunk was on whatever was outermost, and Frodo's mithril shirt was hidden underneath the odd layer of his clothing.


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