# You're a TOLKIEN Fan if....



## Elorendil (Aug 26, 2005)

*You know you've had too much LotR when...*

I am constantly told by friends, family, etc. that I have been reading/watching too much LotR. While I don't think it's possible to have too much LotR, I thought it would be fun to have this thread and see what people come up with.
Here are a things I've thought of/personally done: 

~When you call the local radio station and dedicate a song to your friend in elvish (yes, I've actually done this!)

~When you're in the middle of choir practice and start singing the words to the song in elvish.

~When you keep hearing a voice in your head saying, "Im Arwen, tel im lathied..."

~When you're working on perfecting your recipe for lembas.


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## Mooky87 (Aug 30, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

You know you're obsessed with LOTR when...

1) Whenever you say something to someone, it is a quote from a book. (I have done this one with a friend)
2) You find yourself constantly coming on the Forum to see who has replied to the last thing you posted.

3) You begin to think of yourself as part of the Fellowship

Alll I could think of, but this is a great thread!!


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## AraCelebEarwen (Aug 30, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

OH! Too good! Here are some of mine... 

1: Your bedroom looks like an elven forest (well, almost)
2: You wake up thinking how that next bit of the story should go.
3: Your brothers know where to find you at all times! (bedroom writing or at The computer  )
4: A dark cloak is hanging from the coat rack by your door
5: Threats start to sound better in elven and black speech then english.

Some more then others, but you get the idea... 

Good idea for a thread by the way! This is fun!


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## Rosalee LuAnn (Aug 30, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

You like your hair long because it looks 'elvish'


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## Elorendil (Aug 31, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

-You dream in elvish

-At the dinner table, you say, "Give us the ssssalt sshaker, precioussss. We wantssss it, yesss, we wantssss it."

-You have a tengwar font on your computer.


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## Arat Macar (Aug 31, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

your screen name means something in a Tolkien language.

you cant go hiking without checking over your shoulder for Black Riders.

"Sting" does not refer to a british musician.

absolutely no one will play LOTR Trivial Persuit with you.

you see dog poop in the grass and insits it is ork spore.

you want to go to a bar just to sit in a dark corner with your hood up smoking a pipe.

you think twice before slipping on a ring.

you insist that the big grey quadrapeds with big ears, tusks, and a trunk are called "Olephaunts."

you are temped to actually eat "tomatoes, sausages, and nice crispy bacon."

you know of a hill somewhere near your house that you call "weathertop."

you have thought about asking your doctor to test your blood for Numenorean.


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## Elorendil (Sep 6, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

~You can sing the song of Gil-Galad.


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## e.Blackstar (Sep 6, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

You're too much of a LotR fan when you:

-Go around muttering “My Precious is lost”.
-Go ‘Tramping’ all over your garden with an old manky stick.
-After dinner you spontaneously burst into a long complicated song.
-Walk around wearing green blankets over your clothes with a leaf brooch holding it together.
-put a torch under your green cloak and turn it on so that you look like an elf that is between worlds.
-when confronted by a teacher who is concerned about your glowing green cloak as it is not school uniform cry “back you devils”, pull out ‘sword’ and charge at them as if they were orcs.
-walk around barefoot with a curly wig on your head.
-buy a gold ring and wear it on a silver chain.
-when a teachers takes any of your friends for detention etc. burst into tears and cry “they took the little ones!”
-introduce yourself as “so and so, son/daughter of so and so”.
-you go on a six month hike taking only crackers and rope just for the fun of it!
-you buy all the gear and walk around claiming to be one of the missing Istari.
-you grow your hair out to seem more elvish-and buy the ears!
-when your tutor walks in you mutter to your friend “they have a cave troll”.
-never eat melons because everyone knows ‘mellon’ means friend.
-try scaring people by wandering around muttering ”ash nazg durbatuluk,ash nazg grimbatul.ash nazg trazatulk agn burzum-ish krimpatul!!”
-start calling children hobbits
-walk around shouting ”get outta my way you orcs!”
-gaze into the jewellers muttering “they have my precioussss,my precioussss.
-when your teacher tells you “your late” you glance at them darkly and say “a wizard is never late mr. so and so, nor are they early,they arrive precisely when they mean to.”
-your friend has a large bar of chocolate so you eat some.when they accuse you of stealing you draw yourself up and shout “i am not trying to rob you!!im trying to help you”
-Whenever you have to dirsect a meeting you open it with “strangers from afar,friends of old,you have been summoned here to............”
-always refer to yourself as “we” and have arguements with yourself.i.e. 
“we want that chocolate dont we precious? smeagol says no,nasty smeagol, but gollum, yes, gollum wants the light bubbly chocolate............”
-when you answer the phone say “is it secret? is it safe?”
-you legally change your name to strider and start hanging around taverns pestering little people.
-you refer to your loved ones as “my preciousssssssssssssss”
-in the early hours of the morning you can be found lurking round your neighbours pond muttering “nicccceeeeeeee fisssssshesss” to yourself.
-instead of pepper spray you have a glass bottle and scream “ aiya earendil elenion ancalima” at muggers.
-If anyone pushes in front of you in a line you draw sword(or something sword like) and shout “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!”
-when your teacher asks for your homework you reply “if you want it,come and claim it!!”
-you claim the reason your finger is missing is because gollum bit it off
-when you are in trouble in school you angrily reply “do not be so quick to deal out death and judgement!”
- After a good meal or drink of some sort you say "Ah! that was proper fourteen-twenty,that was!
-Refer to your home as Bag End
*-Walk up to random old men and shout 'Fireworks, Gandalf! Fireworks!'*
-obtain a sword, break it and hand the shards down to your son and his son untill one of them decides to fix it.
-If you ever catch anyone trying to steal something from you in school like a pencil or something, yell at them and run away, and then say to your friend, "The ring has him, Aragorn."
-Whenever an alarm (of any sort) goes off you immediately yell, "Awake!Fire! Fear! Foes! Awake!" 
-I just went camping and thought about LOTR all the time. I was staring into the fire after part of a cardboard box got put on. It was shaped like a mountain with a point and everything. I said, "Smoke rises from the mountain of Doom..."
-you have the one ring, but you refuse to wear because you fall to the temptation of the ring 
- occasionally you dress in Middle-earthen clothes
- walk around bare foot to develop hobbit feet
- make plans to build a hobbit hole in a hill somewhere in New Zealand
- talk using terms "of old" "daughter/son of..." and so on
- when someone tells you "ur late" u reply "[insert your name] is never late [insert name of person who told u u were late]. Nor is he/she early. He/she arrives precisely when he/she means to." and then after a moment of silence you laugh.
- you buy and wear elvish ears
- you keep the one ring hidden in case the nazgul are nearby
-You think all caves covered in grass are age old hobbit holes

-when your running in PE and you make your footfalls sound like the orcs in FOTR.. the movie... (y'know.. dun duh duh dun duh duh dananan..)
-When your friend asks to see your ring, u run away screaming, " no it's my preciosssssssssss!!!" 
-When u introduce ppl at the beginning of your birthday party u list off evryone's last name untill someone interups u with the plural pronunciation of their name.
- You post a sign outside on a tree of your backyard that says "Warning! Any dwarf who breaths loudly will suddenly become surrounded by beautiful elven archers"
-Decorate your home in early hobbit (and wish there was someplace you could purchase a round door and round windows!).
-Consider mushrooms a foodgroup.
-While taking walks, talk to occasional trees to see if they respond.
-Keep an "ear" out in surrounding conversations (wherever you are) for the person who mentions ANYTHING that indicates he or she is a fellow Tolkiapath and when that happens, STRIKE
-Despite a sizable wart on your foot you are willing to walk around barefoot to develop leathery hobbit feet, and you stick the hair you pull out of your brush onto the tops.
-You 'fro out your hair to match your feet.
-Your dream house has round doors with knobs in the middle.
-You refer to your midmorning snack as second breakfast.
-You have a friend who got ahold of a bootleg copy of The Two Towers, but you refuse to watch it because it just HAS to be experienced on the big screen.
-You eat six meals a day.
-You don't smoke, so you buy a bubble pipe and contemplate how you can possibly blow bubble rings.
-You have a montage of FOTR scenes and a picture of Argonath on your desktop wallpaper.
-You insist to your professors that you are neither late nor early, you arrive precisely when you mean to.
-When you see that Whitey's sells fresh fruit frozen yogurt in pints, you exclaim, "It comes in pints? I'm gettin' one!"
-As you walk passs a tree you stop to have a chat and express your happyness at the new leaf that has grown since your last conversation.
-As you walk into the headteachers office with your friends you notice the flame in his eyes and you just cant stop yourself shouting 'Fly! this is a foe beyond any of you' as you sacrfice yourself stopping him chase your fellowship with the words ''you shall not pass'
after you have a great drink or something say " ah, that was a proper fourteen-twenty." 
-Your entire family knows what to get you for Xmas, and dont even bother to ask you anymore (LotR stuff...but that was kinda obvious).
-Whilst playing the LotR PC game, you are as scared of the Ring Wraiths as anyone in the books ever was.
-Become entirely exasperated when people IM you to tell you that they've seen the movie, and understand why your so obsessed with it....You've only told that person, like, twenty times that its the BOOKS you should be obsessed with, not the MOVIES...we all know which is better!
-You mutter under your breath about those ridiculous Fool-of-a-Tooks in your class, and you call all kids "little people" or "hobbit children" 
-You know your obsessed when you and your mother have a bet that by the time you are 33, you will still love LOTR. Just as much. The loser pays the other 111 dollars. 
-You will meet the person you're going to marry on a LotR based website.


(I didn't make these up. We sssstole them preciousssssss!  )

And I've done most/lots of them...


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## Daranavo (Sep 6, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

You have? Ok, who do you think you will marry that is on this site?


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## e.Blackstar (Sep 6, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

[sarcasm] Well I'm wavering between you and Hammermith. [/sarcasm] 
   



I said *most* of them, Dar. MOST. Not all.


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## AraCelebEarwen (Sep 6, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

Why did I know that he would see that one.  

Wow Black! That's some list you have there! I can admit to a few of those as well, but there's enough, who couldn't?!  

This was a good idea for a thread! It's just cool, fun, entertaining... THANKS FOR STARTING IT!!!


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## Daranavo (Sep 6, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

Well, her list is so complete. I have indeed been guilty of several however, I will NOT divulge which.


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## Mirelena (Sep 8, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

LoLoL - This is like an "LOTR Anonymous" thread.

"Hello, my name is Mirelena. It's been- *checks watch* five minutes since my precious and I have quoted an LOTR line..."

You know you've had too much LOTR when:

~You have elvish pet names for your best friends
~You find yourself automatically thanking people in elvish
~You decide that you're going to learn the same languages Tolkien learned, so that you can pick up where he left off writing Elvish.
~You call the small children you work with, "Periathan," "hobbits," and "hobytla."
~You have an LOTR marathon. . . of the appendices to the DVDs
~You and your friend have an inside joke about "We went out together. NOT 'like that,' but together!"
~You frequent LotR Role-playing sites.


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## Hobbit-GalRosie (Sep 13, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

Ha, e.blackstar, thou art discovered! Verily, I knew that thread whence thou stolest those ideas from nut and acorn! 'Twas one of my favourites, and I had a great many of those memorised, for use in times to come! Thy plagiarism shall NOT go unpunished!

Um, well, considering you didn't pretend not to have stolen them...

LOL!!!

Well, I can't help for nostalgia's sake wished that the old True Fan thread had been revived, esp. since I think that's a better way of putting it, you CAN'T have too much LotR, lol. But in either case it's good to see this going on again.

Um, ok...

~You have a dog named Huan, or a horse named Shadowfax, Asfaloth, etc, or a parakeet named Gwaihir.
~It takes you a moment to remember how to write in English as you're so used to the Tengwar now.
~You're planning an expedition on the Atlantic ocean to search for the Undying Lands.
~You can no longer remember any names for months/days except those of the Hobbits or Elves.
~You pack a sandwich for lunch wrapped in "mallorn" leaves.
~You refer to Mountain Dew as miruvor.
~You're using baldness remedies on your feet to try and make them Hobbit-like.
~You refer to the doctor's office as The Houses of Healing.
~You're composing you OWN score for the movies...
~You hope to one day meet Frodo--not Elijah Wood, but the Hobbit himself.
~You pick up random sticks in a forest to see if you can make them glow like Gandalf's staff.
~You refuse to drink anything not in a pint.
~You refer to particularly odious people as cave trolls.
~You're perfecting your Nazgul shriek.
~People go not to you for counsel because you say both no and yes.


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## Elorendil (Sep 25, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

~You see a spider on your wall and run from the room screaming, "It's Shelob!"

~Someone asks what foreign language course you took in high school and you respond, "Sindarin, Quenya, Black speech, and a little Rohirric."

~Your preschool siblings/relatives have learned how to greet people in elvish.

~You can tell what is happening in the movie just by hearing three measure of the soundtrack.


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## Barliman Butterbur (Sep 25, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

You know you've had too much LOTR when

• you find yourself sculpting your mashed potatoes into a model of Orthanc
• you shout at an old lady on the bus, "Look out the window! There goes a Nazgul!"
• you go into a bar and order a pint of 1420
• your best friend knocks at your door and you shout "NO THANK YOU!" and then have to explain yourself
• you walk to the mailbox singing "The Road Goes Ever On and On"
• you start brushing the hair on your feet

Barley


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## Shireman D (Sep 26, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

~ when you only allow your telephone to make ONE RING


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## Barliman Butterbur (Sep 26, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*



Shireman D said:


> ~ when you only allow your telephone to make ONE RING



*Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaa!*  (The scary part is, that's how I actually have my phone set!) 

Barley

(Correct post count 2837)


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## Wraithguard (Sep 26, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*


You refuse to play sports involving a ball for fear that Sauron will see you through his Palantìr
You write book quotes on bathroom stalls
You dumbfound your friends in a conversation, only to learn you've been speaking Adûnaic the entire time
You own LotR Monopoly, Risk, Trivial Pursuit...
You polish your limited edition, collectable, memorative, and 24 Karat gold One Rings... All forty of them


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## Elorendil (Sep 29, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

~You request the hymn of Elbereth during the 'pick a hymn' time at church.

~You lose your favorite ring and find yourself lamenting, "Losssst! Our Preciousss is lossst!"

~You head to the fireworks stand and ask if they have any fireworks designed by Gandalf.

~You start calling your younger siblings/relatives "those nasty little hobitisesss"

~You wake up in the middle of the night screaming, "GANDALF!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"


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## Noldor_returned (Nov 2, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

I'm just saying now, that I may have done some of these things, although I don't think you can ever have too much of a good thing.
I can't really think of any right now, except...
-I went over to a friend's house, and her dog was called Pippin. She said it was named by the people they got it off.


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## Mirelena (Nov 3, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

Vanawen, you're stealing mine!
You know you've had too much LOTR when:

You don't believe there is such a thing. 
You insist on naming your vehicle after a famous weapon.
The leaves start to turn, and you can't help feeling like it's time to visit Rivendell.
You sing Hobbit drinking songs to amuse yourself in lines at the airport. (Or anywhere else, for that matter)
Writing things like this is second nature.


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## Noldor_returned (Nov 3, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

If I knew enough of the songs from LOTR I would sing them anywhere, but not beacause I've had too much LOTR, I'm just like that: I sing any song that comes to mind.


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## Mirelena (Nov 3, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

OK. I'll work with you...

~You know you've had too much LOTR when you know all of the songs and they're the only ones that come to mind when waiting in line at the airport. (or anywhere else.)


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## Majimaune (Nov 8, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*



AraCelebEarwen said:


> OH! Too good! Here are some of mine...
> 
> 1: Your bedroom looks like an elven forest (well, almost)
> 2: You wake up thinking how that next bit of the story should go.
> ...


hey do you think you could give me some of those elvish threats


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## Noldor_returned (Nov 8, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*



Mirelena said:


> OK. I'll work with you...
> 
> ~You know you've had too much LOTR when you know all of the songs and they're the only ones that come to mind when waiting in line at the airport. (or anywhere else.)


 
I like this one better, but...
...that wouldn't stop me. Stop trying, and I'll admit now, I am fairly strange.
I also had a good one, but can't quite remember it...
That's it! When you see a similarity between a real life event and something in LOTR or Hobbit etc.


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## Majimaune (Nov 9, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

when you play lotr cricket
when you name your cricket bat after a weapon in lotr (Old sting, new Anduril)


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## e.Blackstar (Nov 9, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

When you name your twin fish Elladan and Elrohir. And your next hamster is going to be called Theodred.


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## AraCelebEarwen (Nov 9, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

OH! Pet names is it?! 

Cats I've had:
Sam- a big, fluffy tom cat; liked to help me when working in the garden; very friendly though almost shy at times. I miss him. 

Marry & Pippin- twins in every way; know apart by a 'm' on Marry's forehead; very mischievous, only just less so then their cuteness. Both have gone to other homes now. *sniff*

Frodo- bright green eyes; dark, wavy hair; an obsession for rings. No! I'm not kidding! If there is a hair band on the floor or anywhere within his sight, he chitters and goes in for the kill! There have been time when I only just get away without bleeding very much. He knows better now, but when he was a kitten he would dang near take your hand off to get at the little ring of elastic.  

=^.^=


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## Erestor Arcamen (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

you've had too much lotr when...

-your friends dont believe you that ur class ring is the one ring, so you hit it with an ax and instead of the ax shattering......the ring does

-you drive down the street blasting the soundtrack (mighta been said)

-when dinner is over and you've had desert you ask ur parents when its SUPPER time. when they say that you already ate reply "well once yes, but..."

-when ur mother asks u to pick up carrots and potatoes at the grocery store you reply, "Smeagol won't go, O no precious, not this time. He's frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all. We won't grub for roots and carrotses and - taters. What's taters, precious, eh, what's taters?"

-your little brother needs the ketchup at the kitchen table and dad has it, u grip ur steak knife and say, "dad give the ketchup to frodo"

resurrecting an old post at early hours of the morning!


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## e.Blackstar (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

Just wondering Erestor...is it possible 4 u not 2 rite like this? It's really annoying.


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## Corvis (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*



AraCelebEarwen said:


> OH! Too good! Here are some of mine...
> 
> 1: Your bedroom looks like an elven forest (well, almost)
> 2: You wake up thinking how that next bit of the story should go.
> ...


 
Dude, your room looks almost like an elven forest. That's pretty cool! 

And you now you've had to much LOTR when you interrupt someone else's conversation by relating something they said with LOTR.


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## e.Blackstar (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*



Corvis said:


> when you interrupt someone else's conversation by relating something they said with LOTR.



Yes! Glad I'm not the only one who's done this!


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## Hammersmith (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*



e.Blackstar said:


> -never eat melons because everyone knows ‘mellon’ means friend.


Oh no! The order of the melon! Now *that* takes me back!

*Incorporates above quote into Melon Dogma*


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## Erestor Arcamen (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

yeah sorry bout the font size, somehow i changed it haha heres another one:

-when playing dodgeball you say to ur team, "their armor is weak at the neck"

-when you're fishing and u and ur friends are trying to see who can catch more fish and ur friend catches a really big fish, and you reply "it still only counts as one!"(has actually happened)

-when having school government meetings you start it out as, "Friends from Distant classrooms y [SIZE=-1]ou have
all been summoned here..."

-when you're drunk you sing: [/SIZE]*[SIZE=-1]
"Hey! Ho! To the bottle I go!
To heal my heart and drown my woe,
the rain may fall and wind may blow,
But there still be, many miles to go.
Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,
And the stream that falls from hill to plain,
but better then rain or a rippling brook, "is a mug of beer inside this Took!" [/SIZE]*[SIZE=-1] 
[/SIZE]


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## e.Blackstar (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

I didn't mean the font size, love...I meant that I hate it when u rite like this...with u and ur and 2 and 4 and no Capitilization. Not in a chatroom, are we love?

Not meaning to be anal, of course.


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## Wolfshead (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

Welcome to "You know you've had too much LOTR when..." thread number 256


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## Corvis (Dec 4, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*



Erestor Arcamen said:


> yeah sorry bout the font size, somehow i changed it haha heres another one:
> 
> -when playing dodgeball you say to ur team, "their armor is weak at the neck"[SIZE=-1]
> [/SIZE]


 
Ha,ha! Now that's funny. Have you really done that?


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## Erestor Arcamen (Dec 5, 2005)

*Re: You know you've had too much LotR when...*

unfortunately no but i'd like too lol, thatd be fun.


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## Eledhwen (Aug 17, 2008)

You're a Tolkien fan if....


You won't drink in a pub unless it sells Real Draft Ale from the wood.
You take off on long walks, with your pack loaded with digestive biscuits wrapped in leaves and a length of coiled rope.
You do your gardening barefoot in cropped trousers and a yellow waistcoat.
Your door hanger says "No admittance except on party business"

Your turn....


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## Illuin (Aug 17, 2008)

*You have a Tolkien iPod Touch; where nothing but Tolkien unabridged audio books, artwork, film soundtrack is allowed.


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## Eledhwen (Aug 17, 2008)

Illuin said:


> *You have an Tolkien iPod Touch; where nothing but Tolkien unabridged audio books, artwork, film soundtrack is allowed.


LOL!

*You buy dog-eared paperback copies of The Lord of the Rings from market stalls and car boot sales, just to make sure they get a good home.


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## chrysophalax (Aug 17, 2008)

You only date people with as much, if not more knowledge of Tolkien than you have.


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## Illuin (Aug 17, 2008)

_



*You buy dog-eared paperback copies of The Lord of the Rings from market stalls and car boot sales, just to make sure they get a good home.

Click to expand...

_ 
Guilty!




> _You only date people with as much, if not more knowledge of Tolkien than you have. _


 
Well, then I would have never been on a date .


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## Illuin (Aug 17, 2008)

You have a very formal living room, yet on the wall you have large maps of Middle-Earth, Beleriand, Numenor, and the Lonely Mountain matted in beautiful frames.


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## Prince of Cats (Aug 17, 2008)

Do you have such framed maps, Illuin?  That'd be a sight

You know You're a Tolkien Fan if you accidentally call the name Manwe or Ulmo instead of a Saint for aid

And also I think Firawyn has one to add here after seeing her tatoo


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## Illuin (Aug 17, 2008)

> by The Prince
> _You know You're a Tolkien Fan if you accidentally call the name Manwe or Ulmo instead of a Saint for aid_


 




LOL Indeed!

GUILTY!!!


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## Prince of Cats (Aug 17, 2008)

guilty


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## Firawyn (Aug 17, 2008)

*if you have a tattoo pertaining to Tolkien.

*if the first thing you put on your wall in your new apartment was the map of Middle Earth.

*if you've gotten quite comfortable pointing to yourself and saying "Tolkien Nerd"

*if your everyone you know calls you when they have a Tolkien question.

*when you frequent TTF more often than you frequent your pillow.


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## Illuin (Aug 17, 2008)

> by Firawyn
> _*if your everyone you know calls you when they have a Tolkien question._
> _*when you frequent TTF more often than you frequent your pillow._


 





When you purchase a new filing cabinet (nice by the way), for detailed genealogies, family trees, maps; and have them placed in impeccable order; alphabetized and categorized.


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## Durin's Bane (Aug 18, 2008)

You people are sick!
You are a Tolkien fan if every time you go out the front door you start singing "The road goes ever on and on..."


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## HLGStrider (Aug 18, 2008)

> *if your everyone you know calls you when they have a Tolkien question.



place, Barnes and Noble Cafe
time about a year and a half ago

I'm cleaning something when the cafe phone rings. It's Matt (not husband Matt) at the customer service desk.

Matt: Heidi, what year did JRR Tolkien die?
Me: 1973
Matt: Thanks.

Click.

I paused. Did that really just happen?


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## Illuin (Aug 18, 2008)

Wow Strider, I think that takes the cake.


When you.............ah never mind; I'll have social workers arriving at my door if I mention that.


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## Gilthoniel (Aug 18, 2008)

...when bored in public, you spend your time imagining what race the people around you would be.

...when you see an eagle flying, in your mind you try and imagine it's higher up that it actually is, and is, in fact Gwaihir.

...if when someone does something stupid, you say 'Fool of a Took!'


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## Eledhwen (Aug 19, 2008)

HLGStrider said:


> place, Barnes and Noble Cafe
> time about a year and a half ago
> 
> I'm cleaning something when the cafe phone rings. It's Matt (not husband Matt) at the customer service desk.
> ...



If that was the $500,000 question on 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?' then I'd ask for a cut.

You're a Tolkien fan if you find yourself humming "The road goes ever on and on" as you walk down the street. You're an even worse case if you sing "Sing Hey for the bath at close of day, that washes the weary mud away", as you'd have to make up your own tune (Tolkien only recites it on the Tolkien audio collection).


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## HLGStrider (Aug 19, 2008)

You can remember the year Tolkien died by going backwards down the numbers in the ring poem

1-Dark Lord
9-Mortal Men
7-Dwarf Lords
3-Elven Kings

One of my daughters favorite songs is my rendition of 'Fifteen birds in five fir trees" from the Hobbit. . . . there might be some Goblin on her father's side of the family.


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## Illuin (Aug 19, 2008)

> by HLGStrider
> _You can remember the year Tolkien died by going backwards down the numbers in the ring poem_
> 
> _1-Dark Lord_
> ...


 
Oh...... my God!



That has reached a new level Strider.


You adopt a deformed stray kitty(holes for ears; no lobes) and name him Gollum.


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## Prince of Cats (Aug 19, 2008)

Howabout if you shaved your kitty to make it more like Gollum? (not guilty!!!)


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## Gilthoniel (Aug 19, 2008)

If you've ever secrectly checked in the mirror after putting on a new ring, jus to check you're not invisible.

If you've ever considered buying replica LOTR merchandise - ie. The One Ring, or The Shards of Narsil.

or, for that matter, if you ever saved up £275 for an exact copy of Glamdring...
Gee, that would be obsessive..


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## Firawyn (Aug 19, 2008)

Oh...wow.

I have the pin that is on the cloaks Galadriel gave the Fellowship...and a letter opener version of Sting...hehe.


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## nodnarb (Aug 19, 2008)

i have the witchking sword on the wall by my bed...in case of intruders ya know


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## chrysophalax (Aug 19, 2008)

"You're an even worse case if you sing "Sing Hey for the bath at close of day, that washes the weary mud away", as you'd have to make up your own tune (Tolkien only recites it on the Tolkien audio collection)."

Am absolutely guilty!

...If you always refer to Venus as Earendil, Orion as Menelmacar and Ursa Major as the Hay Wain.


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## Illuin (Aug 19, 2008)

> _by chrysophalax_
> _"If you always refer to Venus as Earendil"_


 
Guilty!!!

If you buy small, detailed models of Barad-dûr and Orthanc, cut the bottoms out, fill them with rocks, silicone the bottoms back on, and put them in your aquarium .


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## HLGStrider (Aug 19, 2008)

That's a really cool idea. I used to have a Gollum action figurine on my desk but it has since by a "frost dragon." 

I had a pair of lambs once named Merry and Pippin and a ram named Bilbo . . . sheep are wonderful animals.


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## Illuin (Aug 19, 2008)

> by HLGStrider
> _That's a really cool idea._




I was going to go all the way, but realized there wouldn't be enough places for the fish to hide on the “Mordor” side of the aquarium .


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## Noldor_returned (Aug 20, 2008)

If when studying Sparta and Pompeii/Herculaneum you start mistaking events of real life for events from LOTR, such as replacing Vesuvius with Mt. Doom, seeing Aragorn as Leonidas with 300 Gondorians instead of Spartans. Many more also, but these are what stuck in my mind.


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## Gilthoniel (Aug 20, 2008)

If you post on this forum?

or, alternatively, if you ever grow a beard, dress in green and brown, walk around slowly, and respond automatically to any statement with:

"BUR-RUH-RUMMM! Don't be so haasty!"


EDIT: Just realised that my 100th post was a jocular tale of Entish mockery...
I really do bring a lot to this board, don't I?


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## Firawyn (Aug 21, 2008)

Gilthoniel said:


> If you post on this forum?



I'll toast to that!  Cheers!



OR - 

If you are in a restaurant and it's FREEZING, and you're first thought is "where is my elven cloak?"


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## Confusticated (Aug 23, 2008)

I think I mentioned something like this happening to me a few years ago but...

If, when reading, you begin to pronounce the word _celebrate_ in your head as if it were elvish. Something like Kelebrateh. Guilty!


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## YayGollum (Aug 23, 2008)

Hm. I sometimes pronounce it like that, but that's just because I took four years of Latin. oh well. Ah, um, you happen to be a Tolkien fan, at least at the moment, if you are always saying that you owe your life to the guy, due to the fact that being fans of his was one of the reasons your parents became fans of each other.


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## Confusticated (Aug 23, 2008)

That applies to my son!


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## Firawyn (Aug 24, 2008)

Haha, nice one Yay.

Now I've got to relate a conversation I had with my sister yesterday.

She had asked me what I would do with my life after the age of 50, and I, who've always wanted to live to the century mark, told her - mind you without a second thought - 

"I'm gunna be an elf when I grow up - fifty is young!"



She was like "Okkkaayyyy."


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## baragund (Aug 25, 2008)

You're a REAL Tolkien Fan if you can still find something to post about for 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 years or more.


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## Gilthoniel (Nov 7, 2008)

Sorry to resurrect this bad boy, but this one just happened to me...

You see the word 'HOME' written in capital letters, and immediately think 'History of Middle-Earth'.


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## Majimaune (Nov 7, 2008)

Oh that is pretty bad Gilthoniel.

It's pretty bad that whenever I say my school name I have to go Lorien, as in Lothlorien in Lord of the Rings.


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## Prince of Cats (Nov 7, 2008)

If you start singing about how the table is laden when skipping through the leaves


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## Firawyn (Nov 7, 2008)

If you are fully prepared to disown friends and family if they do not read Tolkien...


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## Illuin (Nov 7, 2008)

If you mathematically scale the size of Barad-dûr (even just taking the estimated dimensions from the movies), and compare them to skyscrapers around you. I see The Empire State Building up close very often, and imagine stacking five of them on top of each other (the rumored height of Barad-dûr). I then sketch pictures using a scale and a ruler comparing the height and size of the Empire State Building with the Dark Tower. 

Have I actually gone mad?


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## Gilthoniel (Nov 7, 2008)

No, no, no!
Perfectly normal behaviour for a sane person...


*runs away*


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## Firawyn (Nov 8, 2008)

Not mad, no, but you _have_ been bitten by the Tolkien Bug.


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## Illuin (Nov 8, 2008)

> by Firawyn
> _Not mad, no, but you have been bitten by the Tolkien Bug._


 
Bitten long ago, and the neurotoxins from the bite have finally crippled my central nervous system. I think I’m more Hydra than Human now .


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## Aisteru (Nov 9, 2008)

Illuin said:


> If you mathematically scale the size of Barad-dûr (even just taking the estimated dimensions from the movies), and compare them to skyscrapers around you. I see The Empire State Building up close very often, and imagine stacking five of them on top of each other (the rumored height of Barad-dûr). I then sketch pictures using a scale and a ruler comparing the height and size of the Empire State Building with the Dark Tower.
> 
> Have I actually gone mad?


 


Not mad, but you have become my inspiration for the forseeable future. That is one of the coolest things I've ever heard. If you ever scan those drawings onto your computer, I would love to see them.


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## Firawyn (Nov 9, 2008)

Hell, post 'em here, I wanna see!!!


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## baragund (Nov 10, 2008)

Hmmm... It never occurred to me that the height of Barad-Dur is the equivalent of five Empire State buildings.

Talk about the Owner of the establishment trying to compensate for something...


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## Firawyn (Nov 10, 2008)

You know I was doing some research on Dwarves, in general mythology, and found that in Norse legend, dwarfish appearance was that of what we imagine as a modern "vampire". Thought that was interesting.


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## Hobbit-GalRosie (Feb 22, 2009)

Gilthoniel said:


> Sorry to resurrect this bad boy, but this one just happened to me...
> 
> You see the word 'HOME' written in capital letters, and immediately think 'History of Middle-Earth'.



So, so guilty. I thought that was just normal...


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## Voronwen (Mar 23, 2009)

> You're a TOLKIEN Fan if....


 
You have the same 3 most-cherished books that live eternally on your end table at all times, because you're in them so often it just doesn't make any sense to ever put them away: 

The Silmarillion

Sauron Defeated

The Lord of the Rings


_Not necessarily in that order...._


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## Ithrynluin (Mar 23, 2009)

Voronwen said:


> Sauron Defeated



Wow, that's the first time I've seen that one mentioned among favourites. Care to elaborate why you like it so much?


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## Voronwen (Mar 23, 2009)

Ithrynluin said:


> Care to elaborate why you like it so much?


 
It's the second half that makes it a favorite for me. I love all those variations on the Akallabeth... (I wish it had been 1000 pages long!). I just love all things Numenorean...


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## Firawyn (Mar 23, 2009)

Haha yea I keep my copy of "Tolkien's World A to Z" by my bed. Always, always in reach!


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## Varokhâr (Mar 24, 2009)

Voronwen said:


> It's the second half that makes it a favorite for me. I love all those variations on the Akallabeth... (I wish it had been 1000 pages long!). I just love all things Numenorean...



Indeed; the second half gives it a special charm


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## Nenya (Apr 5, 2009)

~ if, every time that someone reminds you not to be late you thoroughly explain to them that wizards come neither late nor too early but always on the time they are needed

~ if every time you leave your friends you say "farewell my lads" instead of "goodbye" and if they ask you why you are leaving, you answer "i have to cast The Ring in the Crack of Doom. You can't follow me there"

~ if you actually think that shouting "Elbereth Gilthoniel" at school would scare the teacher you hate away

~ if you try to walk as light and noiseless as you can because elves walk , move etc that way and because hobbits can move very silently in the woods


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## Úlairi (Apr 5, 2009)

If you stand out the front of a supermarket and bar the entry of customers crying: "_You shall not pass_!"

*Cheers,*

*Úlairi.*


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## Firawyn (Apr 5, 2009)

Úlairi said:


> If you stand out the front of a supermarket and bar the entry of customers crying: "_You shall not pass_!"
> 
> *Cheers,*
> 
> *Úlairi.*



HAHA I like that one!


How about - 

~ Your favorite thing to do on Facebook is look for book faithful Lord of the Rings Flair.


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## Illuin (Apr 6, 2009)

When talking to kids about alcohol abuse, you always compare the effects of alcoholism to the effects of wearing a Ring of Power, and in the end you become a booze-wraith (_Bûz-gûl_ ); bereft of will, and completely enslaved by the _spirit_ in the bottle.


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## Firawyn (Apr 7, 2009)

Illuin said:


> When talking to kids about alcohol abuse, you always compare the effects of alcoholism to the effects of wearing a Ring of Power, and in the end you become a booze-wraith (_Bûz-gûl_ ); bereft of will, and completely enslaved by the _spirit_ in the bottle.




ROFL! What were you doing, talking to kids about boos? *curious*


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## Voronwen (Apr 7, 2009)

Illuin said:


> _Bûz-gûl_


 
That is *hilarious*!!!  




> You're a TOLKIEN Fan if....


 
...you see some random scribble on the sidewalk, and to you.... it looks like Tengwar!!!!


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## Illuin (Apr 7, 2009)

> Originally posted by *Firawyn*
> _ROFL! What were you doing, talking to kids about boos? *curious*_


 
Well to me, anyone who is around the age of a traditional _undergraduate student _is a kid . I guess I should have used the words _"young person"_ . I always talk to students about booze if they bring it up, and let them know that it might make them feel invincible at the moment, but in the end....da, da, da.......you fade into nothingness if you can't _"give up the Ring"._


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## chrysophalax (Apr 8, 2009)

"What were you doing, talking to kids about boos?" -Firawyn

Honestly, Illuin...are you trying to frighten children (young people) with scary stories again?


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## Alcarinque (Apr 8, 2009)

*You 're a Tolkien fan if sensing the evil close, doesn't stop you from going your way!*


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## Firawyn (Apr 8, 2009)

Illuin said:


> Well to me, anyone who is around the age of a traditional _undergraduate student _is a kid . I guess I should have used the words _"young person"_ . I always talk to students about booze if they bring it up, and let them know that it might make them feel invincible at the moment, but in the end....da, da, da.......you fade into nothingness if you can't _"give up the Ring"._



Ahhh, I see. Well the way I look at it, I've got two great-grandparents still living, and to THEM, you yourself are still "a kid". It's all a matter of perspective. I choose to look at people as - oh, get this! - PEOPLE!  Age doesn't make any difference to me.


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