# A Thread for People That DON'T Like Elves



## Uminya (Mar 13, 2004)

Yes, this is our chance. Gather, my minions, my fellows! Gather so that we may spit at the thought of those pointy-eared cheap-scapes!

Men, hobbits, dwarves, orcs, trolls, ents, dragons, and huorns are all welcome...but NO ELVES!

Here's a joke to start off with:

How do you get a Noldo to cough up the money he owes you?

...You stick your finger down his throat, 'cause that's all he's ever going to pay. *cue raucous laughter*


----------



## Aulë (Mar 13, 2004)

I have dreamed of this moment sionce I joined TTF!!!  

Down with those boring sods of Elves!
Always whinging about the past, and about how everything is doomed...
Zzzz...


----------



## Uminya (Mar 13, 2004)

How many point-ears does it take to screw in a light bulb?

...4...One to start screwing it in, another to kill the first, thinking that he had stolen a Silmaril, a third to tell the second that he's doomed to exile, and a fourth to not know what the light is and screw it in by accident.


----------



## Kementari (Mar 13, 2004)

*is accosted by a posse of dwarves and forced to read from a card*

I love dwarves, they have uber-sexy beards, and are way cooler than the pointy eared cheap-scapes!


----------



## Uminya (Mar 13, 2004)

See what happens when you stand up for the pointy-eared scum?! 

Come, minions! We have not nearly enough!

Down with the pointy-ears!


----------



## Sôval Phârë (Mar 14, 2004)

Yes! I too am sick of those pointy-ears sitting pretty in their ivory towers and looking down their noses at us regular, hardworking folk! I'll bet they think their poo doesn't stink. Pff. Let the anti-elf revolution begin!


----------



## Firawyn (Mar 14, 2004)

Stupid,stupid,stupid Elves!!! They ruin me! I mean, over at MERPG, I'm in a RP that an army of elves attack our city! Disgracful!!!


----------



## Turin (Mar 16, 2004)

Filthy pointy ears don't deserve immortality! They never use it to do something usefull. I only like one elf, Haldir, just because he was cool in the movie. The dwarves rule!


----------



## Uminya (Mar 17, 2004)

Yes! Down with the pointy-eared scum! Rise, blunt-ears! Rise, bearded folk!

Everyone always fawns over how great the elves are...pah! We dwarves did way more on our own than those point-ears ever could. Even orcs would have lots of big cities and fair vales and whatnot if the Valar had played favorites to them instead. But NOOOOO, they have to like the elves and forget and bebother the rest of us! Well who needs them? Only Vala worth his sand is Mahal (praise be unto him!). As for the rest, confusticate and bebother them to no end! Sittin over there on there fancy little rock *spit* dispicable! Ghastly! Miserable! Decadent! May their eyes rot and their ears fall off!


----------



## Fuzzy_Feet88 (Mar 21, 2004)

Down with the pointy ears... is not like they do anything anyway. 
*acting like an Elf* 
" Look at me i'm legolas! im a little pretty boy that nances around...la la la"
Leave Middle-Earth to the real heroes!!


----------



## Eledhwen (Mar 21, 2004)

*I'm afraid I don't dislike Elves, but....*

I Notice that nobody voted to bring the Dwarves, Men or Hobbits to safety in Valinor when Morgoth was running rampant. We mortals would have stayed, we wouldn't have bumped off the Teleri and nicked their ships. I expect the Ainur didn't want their precious realm littering with our expired bodies (nothing rots there).


----------



## Arda (Mar 29, 2004)

*.*

As Eru said in The Simillarion Men when they die go back beyond the limits of the world (meaning heavan basically) and they will have a say in how the world is remade after it comes to an end. So that is the "gift" that men get though no one in the Kindom of Arda knows it. Elves just run away to the west like little <removed>. It was they who helped Sauron make the rings of power as told IN The Simillarion. But they just run away to save their precious immortality which just so happens when they die they go to the halls of Mandos and are let out after a certain period of time so they don't even have to worry about dieing, those little <removed>.

Ahem, watch your language, please!

- ithrynluin


----------



## Darkknight (Apr 24, 2004)

The Elves and the Ents are my favourite species. Their longetivity and collective historical knowledge impresses me, but I can see why they are considered aloof and arrogant...


----------



## Confusticated (Sep 16, 2004)

Rog said:


> I have dreamed of this moment sionce I joined TTF!!!
> 
> Down with those boring sods of Elves!
> Always whinging about the past, and about how everything is doomed...
> Zzzz...




Hehe yeah, and then back in the past all they did do when they weren't fighting is make shiney things. I mean what do they do, sit around all day braiding eachother hair and singing? Oh, and making fun of dwarves and hobbits. Who know what they say about men when no one is around. Saeros was the only one who had the guts to say it to a man's face.


I'd like to show up at one of their hippy gatherings with a machine gun.


----------



## Barliman Butterbur (Sep 16, 2004)

*Re: I'm afraid I don't dislike Elves, but....*



Eledhwen said:


> I Notice that nobody voted to bring the Dwarves, Men or Hobbits to safety in Valinor when Morgoth was running rampant. We mortals would have stayed, we wouldn't have bumped off the Teleri and nicked their ships. I expect the Ainur didn't want their precious realm littering with our expired bodies (nothing rots there).



And isn't it good to have a thread where all can gather to HATE for no good reason...nothing like starting a thread for officially sanctioned and mod-condoned bigotry... *"Ah for God's sake Barley, it's just a JOKE!"* I hear someone saying to me, totally exasperated. Ah, I say, but that's how it starts...

And by the way: there is no such term as "cheap scape." I believe what you're thinking of is "scapegoat," an innocent person or persons on which to lay blame. It comes from the old tribal ceremonial custom of putting all the tribe's sins on a goat and sending forth into the wilderness, leaving the tribe sinless. This is one step up from animal sacrifice. Lastly, you seem to have confused all of that with "cheapskate," which means a stingy person.

Barley


----------



## e.Blackstar (Sep 19, 2004)

Elves aren;t sooooooo bad...but they are often quite annoying...little nancy prancy "doom-is-near" buggers!


----------

