# About firearms



## Hisoka Morrow (Jul 21, 2020)

JRRT always describe military weapons in obscure ways, apart from weapons for single combat like cold steel. Yet I found some proof that JRRT allowed firearms to make their appearance. 

For example, in the siege of Minas-Tirith, JRRT has mentioned that bombardment has taken a heavy roles for both defenders to destroy the siege towers or for the attackers to annihilate personnel. The "strange fire" that explode Helms-deep is obviously a indirect way to mention firearms. In the legendarium-fall of Gondolin, many "war machines" from both sides have kicked a bunch of asses.

Just provide and discuss anything you know about firearms in JRRT's lore^^


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 21, 2020)

Nothing, to be honest. Aragorn descibes a "blasting fire" at Helm's Deep, and says "they have lit the fire of Orthanc". This is apparently some form of gunpowder, but not evidence of firearms.

Something similar, or the same, is used at the Rammas Echor, though we "see" it only at a distance.

IIRC the tank-like machines at Gondolin operated more like flamethrowers, and there seems to have been something akin to Greek fire in use at Minas Tirith also.

The siege engines are specifically called catapults.

So I see no evidence for actual firearms.


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## Olorgando (Jul 21, 2020)

For one thing, as a siege engine, the counterweight trebuchet was still used as late as the late 15th century. There was quite a bit of overlap of this specific "catapult" and cannon, as for quite a while the trebuchet had greater range, accuracy and mass of missile. This also had to do with the black powder or gunpowder used as propellant. While it was less volatile than nitroglycerine or it's "tamed" form dynamite or TNT (what made Alfred Nobel's fortune, which he then donated to found the Nobel prizes as a sort of "penance" for what predictable misuses the military put his invention to), it still has a pretty severe recoil compared to modern "smokeless" powder. Which then points to another disadvantage of gunpowder, causing a fog or smog after a certain number of volleys - and earlier musketeers at least did fire in volleys as did the English bowmen of earlier eras - none of this pure fantasy "precision" shooting so popular in Robin Hood films!

And last the term fire*arms*. "A firearm is a type of gun designed to be readily carried and used by a single individual." There certainly was none of that in either books or films. Even heavy machine guns often need two soldiers to operate, and with artillery the number goes up.


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## Aldarion (Jul 21, 2020)

Regarding gunpowder artillery, we actually have Numenoreans (Lost Road ones) use rocket artillery ("our darts fly over leagues unerring").


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## Olorgando (Jul 21, 2020)

Aldarion said:


> Regarding gunpowder artillery, we actually have Numenoreans (Lost Road ones) use rocket artillery ("our darts fly over leagues unerring").


Well, maybe, but I'd put "Lost Road" definitely below "Book of Lost Tales" in terms of "canon" ... 😒


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 21, 2020)

Or "cannon".


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## Olorgando (Jul 21, 2020)

Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> Or "cannon".


No, no, no, one N. dammit! 🧐


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 21, 2020)

Hey, it was just a shot across the bows. . .


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## Olorgando (Jul 21, 2020)

Bows ain't "fire"-arms in the strict sense. Hardly any noise, no light flashes or smoke.
In a strict sense, bows were "arms-arms". Boy, those English (and earlier Welsh, from whom the English stole the idea) longbowmen had rather unusual shoulders and arms. They started training in childhood. You 'n' me, we'd have serious problems drawing a high-poundage longbow to "full-pull"!


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 21, 2020)




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## Olorgando (Jul 21, 2020)

Photon torpedoes, phasers - those seem all to be "light-arms".
Something with an entirely different connotation in the ST universe than in ours ... 😎


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 21, 2020)




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## Olorgando (Jul 21, 2020)

Hey, before I noticed and corrected it, I had posted "S*W* universe".
Triple, quadruple, quintuple ...? 😁


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 21, 2020)

I think I should quit while I'm behind. 🥴



Oh, well.


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## Olorgando (Jul 21, 2020)

Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> I think I should quit while I'm behind. 🥴
> Oh, well.
> View attachment 7699


No, no, no - just not getting better.
Cannonball flight shown as a straight line drawn by a ruler.
There is this bit called ballistics! Trigonometry! Other stuff!
🙄


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 21, 2020)

Olorgando said:


> Cannon


What was that again?


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## Olorgando (Jul 21, 2020)

Well, actually:


Olorgando said:


> For one thing, as a siege engine, the counterweight trebuchet was still used as late as the late 15th century. There was quite a bit of overlap of this specific "catapult" and *cannon*, as for quite a while the trebuchet had greater range, accuracy and mass of missile. This also had to do with the black powder or gunpowder used as propellant. While it was less volatile than nitroglycerine or it's "tamed" form dynamite or TNT (what made Alfred Nobel's fortune, which he then donated to found the Nobel prizes as a sort of "penance" for what predictable misuses the military put his invention to), it still has a pretty severe recoil compared to modern "smokeless" powder. Which then points to another disadvantage of gunpowder, causing a fog or smog after a certain number of volleys - and earlier musketeers at least did fire in volleys as did the English bowmen of earlier eras - none of this pure fantasy "precision" shooting so popular in Robin Hood films!
> 
> And last the term fire*arms*. "A firearm is a type of gun designed to be readily carried and used by a single individual." There certainly was none of that in either books or films. Even heavy machine guns often need two soldiers to operate, and with artillery the number goes up.





Olorgando said:


> No, no, no - just not getting better.
> *Cannon*ball flight shown as a straight line drawn by a ruler.
> There is this bit called ballistics! Trigonometry! Other stuff!
> 🙄


... yes, posted it twice in this thread, you're paying attention (for whatever reason 🤨 ).


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## Halasían (Jul 21, 2020)

Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> Nothing, to be honest. Aragorn descibes a "blasting fire" at Helm's Deep, and says "they have lit the fire of Orthanc". This is apparently some form of gunpowder, but not evidence of firearms.


Well said. 
As for 'gunpowder' being used at Helms Deep, I never envisioned it as PJ did in the movies, but thought of it as a 'blasting spell' conjoured by Sarumann from Orthanc, much like the way he could cause an avalanche from Caradhras onto the Redhorn Pass.



Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> Something similar, or the same, is used at the Rammas Echor, though we "see" it only at a distance.


Trying to remember this part. I'm definitely overdue for a read through Lord of the Rings.



Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> IIRC the tank-like machines at Gondolin operated more like flamethrowers, and there seems to have been something akin to Greek fire in use at Minas Tirith also.
> 
> The siege engines are specifically called catapults.
> 
> So I see no evidence for actual firearms.


Yes, I had envisioned the use of flaming 'pitchballs' being slung by either catapults/trébuchets into Minas Tirith. 
It has been many many years since I read The Silmarillion... more specificly the part about Gondolin, but for some reason I thought they were great worms (wingless dragons).



Olorgando said:


> Bows ain't "fire"-arms in the strict sense. Hardly any noise, no light flashes or smoke.
> In a strict sense, bows were "arms-arms". Boy, those English (and earlier Welsh, from whom the English stole the idea) longbowmen had rather unusual shoulders and arms. They started training in childhood. You 'n' me, we'd have serious problems drawing a high-poundage longbow to "full-pull"!


What if the arrow was lit on fire before being shot? Does _that_ make it a _'firearm_'?



Olorgando said:


> Hey, before I noticed and corrected it, I had posted "S*W* universe".
> Triple, quadruple, quintuple ...? 😁


"I hope the don't have Blasters baby..."


Oh-Kay... this thread which I deemed somewhat silly at the outset, was a fun read as it deteriorated, or was enhanced... by a good ol duel between Orloganolorian and the Squint-Eyed Southern dude! 🤣


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 21, 2020)

Halasían said:


> I never envisioned it as PJ did in the movies,


I certainly never envisioned the "Olympic torch runner".



Halasían said:


> but thought of it as a 'blasting spell' conjoured by Sarumann from Orthanc


Really? I didn't get that impression at all, but rather that the orcs brought a mine of some kind, and paced it among the stones blocking up the culvert.


Halasían said:


> much like the way he could cause an avalanche from Caradhras onto the Redhorn Pass.


I'm going to assume you're joking here. 

On the Rammas Echor:

_The watchmen cried aloud, and all the men in the City stood to arms. Now ever and anon there was a red flash, and slowly through the heavy air dull rumbles could be heard. 

'They have taken the wall!' men cried.'They have blasted breaches in it. They are coming!'_

I believe you're right about the machines at Gondolin, but as my electricity is off at the moment, I won't stumble around looking for my copy.



Ah. I'm afraid Mr. O just doesn't "do" paranomasia, as I've learned before. I should have waited for Elthir. He "gets" me. He really gets me! 😁


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## Hisoka Morrow (Jul 21, 2020)

Aldarion said:


> Regarding gunpowder artillery, we actually have Numenoreans (Lost Road ones) use rocket artillery ("our darts fly over leagues unerring").


OK...so Numenoreans used something like MLRS instead of gun arty, did they?And of course we all know that how tremendous the ammo will be costed by each shot of MLRS, in particular in comparison with gun arty or even trebuchet. 
So without doubt this can be the some account for Gondor's military decline caused by it's economic downfall, after all, the shortage of ammo is the most direct reflection of economic decline. Yeah, such tremendous cover firepower never appeared in the siege of Minas-Tirith is the best proof.
Of course it's another matter if Numenoreans use gun arty relied on accuracy and pinpoint strike much more, of course it's popularity will get infected by economic as well, like all kinds of advanced military technology, yet maybe not as direct as the MLRS carpet bombing style...



Olorgando said:


> Well, actually:
> 
> 
> ... yes, posted it twice in this thread, you're paying attention (for whatever reason 🤨 ).





Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> What was that again?





Olorgando said:


> No, no, no, one N. dammit! 🧐





Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> Or "cannon".


😈😈😈😈😈Or maybe @Olorgando is going to have his waaagh and decided to start speaking orks accents??



Olorgando said:


> For one thing, as a siege engine, the counterweight trebuchet was still used as late as the late 15th century. There was quite a bit of overlap of this specific "catapult" and cannon, as for quite a while the trebuchet had greater range, accuracy and mass of missile. This also had to do with the black powder or gunpowder used as propellant. While it was less volatile than nitroglycerine or it's "tamed" form dynamite or TNT (what made Alfred Nobel's fortune, which he then donated to found the Nobel prizes as a sort of "penance" for what predictable misuses the military put his invention to), it still has a pretty severe recoil compared to modern "smokeless" powder. Which then points to another disadvantage of gunpowder, causing a fog or smog after a certain number of volleys - and earlier musketeers at least did fire in volleys as did the English bowmen of earlier eras - none of this pure fantasy "precision" shooting so popular in Robin Hood films!


Hmmm...I'm sure JRRT never mentioned these explosion are smokeless or not...yet I prefer they might be much more possible to be the modern ones. These're my reasons.
1. Black powder will cause sulphur dioxide after explosion. And obviously we never saw any poisonous gas appear after any bombardment, no matter it's at Minas-Tirith, Helm's Deep, or so on.
2. Black power will suck if being damped, and if "Saruman's Fire" shows up in Helm's Deep is really such kind of gunpowder, then it'll have to pass via a variety of stuff will damp it such as drainage trench, unless the operators who carry these explosives really got skills.
3. The Numenoreans Exiles like Gondor, had smashed Baradur into the Stone Age during the War of the Last Alliance. This means these Numenoreans Exiles must got some horribly destructive explosives, otherwise the heavy decrease of human resources caused b the war will barely cause such destructive damage. 
And I'm not sure if Black Powder really got such destructive power or not, yet we have to take the consumption spend on all the previous conflicts into account, especially those costed by killing orcs, the best choice for cannon folders. 

What do you think?😎😎😎




Olorgando said:


> And last the term fire*arms*. "A firearm is a type of gun designed to be readily carried and used by a single individual." There certainly was none of that in either books or films. Even heavy machine guns often need two soldiers to operate, and with artillery the number goes up.


Oh please, NVM that, the firearms I'm discussing is according to the mandarin version, it says any weapons operated by propellant is an firearms, wildly speaking. 😅🤪😅🤪








火器 - 维基百科，自由的百科全书







zh.wikipedia.org


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## Halasían (Jul 22, 2020)

Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> I didn't get that impression at all, but rather that the orcs brought a mine of some kind, and paced it among the stones blocking up the culvert.


To my recollection, I don't remember there being anything carried. I do need to read that chapter again.

And yeah... I was joking about that bit... to see if you were paying attention. Caradhras was just a grumpy mountain in the book, though it is never said how a ountain was able to oppose the travellers and try and bury them with a wall of snow. 



Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> On the Rammas Echor:
> 
> _The watchmen cried aloud, and all the men in the City stood to arms. Now ever and anon there was a red flash, and slowly through the heavy air dull rumbles could be heard.
> 
> 'They have taken the wall!' men cried.'They have blasted breaches in it. They are coming!'_


Ah yes... much speculation as to what the red flash and dull rumble actually was. Don't think it was gunpowder.





Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> Ah. I'm afraid Mr. O just doesn't "do" paranomasia, as I've learned before.


Well, he _is_ *The Gandolorian*... 


and About Firearms...


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## Olorgando (Jul 22, 2020)

Halasían said:


> ...
> What if the arrow was lit on fire before being shot? Does _that_ make it a _'firearm_'?
> ...


My hunch would be that true weapons experts (which I'm not, I just have a bit over a shelf about militaria the same size as each of the three shelves of JRRT stuff I posted under the thread "book covers") would say no.
They would probably distinguish between the launcher - bow, catapult, cannon, hand-held firearm - and the missile, so for the bow the arrow. These missiles were all, immediately after leaving the launcher, subject to the trajectory being influenced only by air friction and gravity, in contrast to what we generally consider "missiles proper" being rockets, which take their propellant with them and can thus influence trajectory against the forces of friction and gravity at least for while.


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## Olorgando (Jul 22, 2020)

Halasían said:


> and About Firearms...


Someone who needs to be told that some things are not meant to be taken *that* literally? 
And I mean, this is going to impress an enemy ... how?


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## Halasían (Jul 22, 2020)

Olorgando said:


> My hunch would be that true weapons experts (which I'm not, I just have a bit over a shelf about militaria the same size as each of the three shelves of JRRT stuff I posted under the thread "book covers") would say no.
> They would probably distinguish between the launcher - bow, catapult, cannon, hand-held firearm - and the missile, so for the bow the arrow. These missiles were all, immediately after leaving the launcher, subject to the trajectory being influenced only by air friction and gravity, in contrast to what we generally consider "missiles proper" being rockets, which take their propellant with them and can thus influence trajectory against the forces of friction and gravity at least for while.





Olorgando said:


> Someone who needs to be told that some things are not meant to be taken *that* literally?
> And I mean, this is going to impress an enemy ... how?


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## Olorgando (Jul 22, 2020)

Halasían said:


>


Aw, c'mon, S-eS already posted that one. I mean, I'd have expected a triple at least. 😞


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## Aldarion (Jul 22, 2020)

Olorgando said:


> Aw, c'mon, S-eS already posted that one. I mean, I'd have expected a triple at least. 😞



Is this better?:


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## Olorgando (Jul 22, 2020)

Aldarion said:


> Is this better?:


Ah yes, dear old Q. 😁
My viewing of all Star Trek series has been quite sporadic (and "Deep Space 9" seemed to me to be "Dallas 'n' Dynasty is Space", which is *not* a compliment!). I mean, all of them are re-run here on different channels, but I do not feel drawn to watching them. Q left me with a feeling of being a bit, or actually way more than a bit, over the top. 🧐
Sooooo ...
I'm not sure if it can count as a quadruple, which would probably be Q's opinion ...
Or, if I were to depreciate to compensate for his relentless magniloquence, it's actually only a single. 🙄

And anyway, what's with the Star Trek quotes? As I nagged in an above post, they have very little to do with what anyone would call *fire*arms. It seems to be all light arms ("photon" torpedoes, right!) in a very specific way - at least for the Federation Starship Enterprise. 🤔


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## Halasían (Jul 22, 2020)

Olorgando said:


> And anyway, what's with the Star Trek quotes? As I nagged in an above post, they have very little to do with what anyone would call *fire*arms. It seems to be all light arms ("photon" torpedoes, right!) in a very specific way - at least for the Federation Starship Enterprise. 🤔


Gandolorian, You haven't taken into account the _Sonic Disruptors_ the Klingons used in the Original Star Trek series.
You (nearly) did take into account of the _Blasters_ used in Star Wars, but you edited and removed that prospect.




Olorgando said:


> My hunch would be that true weapons experts (which I'm not, I just have a bit over a shelf about militaria the same size as each of the three shelves of JRRT stuff I posted under the thread "book covers") would say no.
> They would probably distinguish between the launcher - bow, catapult, cannon, hand-held firearm - and the missile, so for the bow the arrow. These missiles were all, immediately after leaving the launcher, subject to the trajectory being influenced only by air friction and gravity, in contrast to what we generally consider "missiles proper" being rockets, which take their propellant with them and can thus influence trajectory against the forces of friction and gravity at least for while.



As far as firearms in Middle Earth, this post reminded me of this:






Not sure why... 🤣


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## Olorgando (Jul 23, 2020)

Halasían said:


> Gandolorian, You haven't taken into account the _Sonic Disruptors_ the Klingons used in the Original Star Trek series.


_*Sonic *Disruptors_ - in the vacuum of space? 🤨
Oh well, warp speed, beaming, and photon torpedoes are all science fantasy too, so what the hey. 😁


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## Halasían (Jul 23, 2020)

Olorgando said:


> _*Sonic *Disruptors_ - in the vacuum of space? 🤨


Um, yeah.... they were a hand-operated weapons used on planets with people and atmospheres and stuff.


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 23, 2020)

Halasían said:


> I don't remember there being anything carried


With good reason: nothing is mentioned about it. It comes as a complete surprise to both defenders and reader.



Halasían said:


> Ah yes... much speculation as to what the red flash and dull rumble actually was. Don't think it was gunpowder.


Perhaps I should have said "gunpowder analogue". 😁

A legitimate argument can be made for putting various incidents in the category of spells or sorcery, given that such things certainly exist in ME; it's just my impression that the author was introducing elements pointing to a progression towards a "diabolical technology" by those seeking domination without scruple. It's of a piece with his comments in The Hobbit about the technological abilities of the goblins.

It's similar with the trenches dug by the orcs around Minas Tirith, "filled with fire, though how it was kindled or fed, by art or devilry, none could see".

By_ art _or _devilry. _As is so often the case, Tolkin leaves it ambiguous, and argument could be made for either. Yet I believe a hint lies -- literally -- in the "foul sump of oily many-coloured ooze" at the bottom of the crater into which Frodo & company crawl near the Black Gate. My interpretation? Mordor has discovered petroleum.

In any event, it seems clear that all these incidents were informed by the author's experience on the Somme.

As for Caradhras, it has to do with the nature of romance-mode writing. This isn't the place to go into it, so I'll just mention Northrop Frye's comment that the romance world is neither totally alive, like the world of myth, nor mostly dead, like ours.

I must correct my earlier post: you're quite right that only dragons appear at Gondolin in the published Silmarillion; I should have made clear that I was referring to BoLT, which I assume Hisoka was talking about. Which means it certainly can't be considered canon.

But neither is it "cannon". 😉


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## Olorgando (Jul 23, 2020)

Halasían said:


> Um, yeah.... they were a hand-operated weapons used on planets with people and atmospheres and stuff.


Ah, those scenes when some crew members beam down onto planets with Styrofoam rocks.
It sounds like they might be ineffective against Heavy Metal fans ... 🤔


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## Olorgando (Jul 23, 2020)

Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> ... can't be considered canon.
> But neither is it "cannon". 😉


First Star Trek, now a 1970s TV series about a fat private detective; at least William Conrad's character used firearms. 🤓


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## Ealdwyn (Jul 23, 2020)

It's probably a mistake to wade in on this, er, lively debate 😜

Europe had gunpowder from the early medieval period - which in many other respects is consistent with the level of technology in LotR. At the Siege of Calais in the mid 1300s they had "siege guns". Hand cannons appeared in Europe in the 1400s. So I dont think there's anything incongruous in the idea of gunpowder in ME.


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 23, 2020)

I think the basic question is whether firearms -- projectile weapons powered by munitions -- existed. For those, I find no evidence.


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## Aldarion (Jul 23, 2020)

Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> I think the basic question is whether firearms -- projectile weapons powered by munitions -- existed. For those, I find no evidence.



I am not aware of their existence either, not even in the _Lost Road_ (which arguably has spaceships...).

Question: what about fire_legs_?


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## Ealdwyn (Jul 23, 2020)

That sort of wasn't what I was getting at. I was saying that, considering the level of technology in LotR, and a similar point in earth history, you could infer the existence of weapons that use gunpowder. I agree that there's no evidence in the books to confirm their existence - hence the inference.


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 23, 2020)

Aldarion said:


> Question: what about fire_legs_?


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## Olorgando (Jul 23, 2020)

Ealdwyn said:


> It's probably a mistake to wade in on this, er, lively debate 😜
> 
> Europe had gunpowder from the early medieval period - which in many other respects is consistent with the level of technology in LotR. At the Siege of Calais in the mid 1300s they had "siege guns". Hand cannons appeared in Europe in the 1400s. So I dont think there's anything incongruous in the idea of gunpowder in ME.


😁
I think Aldarion may be the go-to for detailed information.

But as to Middle Ages: a somewhat arbitrary western term, covering about the time from when the last Western Roman Emperor Romulus Augustulus, a child, was overthrown in 476 AD to Columbus's "discovery" of America (which he believed was India right up to his death). So about 1000 years. How the experts divide this up into early, high and late, I do not know off-hand (if they even agree among themselves). Early might be up to Charlemagne or a bit, who was crowned Emperor by Pope Leo II in 800 AD. That siege of Calais by Edward III of England (following on the crushing defeat of French noble cavalry by English longbowmen (and a few others) at Crécy in 1347 AD) would definitely have been late Middle Ages. And Edward used artillery *and* trebuchets in that siege. As I mentioned in my earlier post, there was an overlap in the use of these weapons, trebuchets being used as late as the siege of Rhodes in 1480 AD.

I would think the time of Charlemagne might compare better to the level of (weapons) technology in LoTR than high or late Middle Ages. But this is more a gut feeling than based on detailed armaments inventory lists from Minas Tirith ... 😉

EDIT: Hey, where did those four posts come from?


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 23, 2020)

I've suggested elswhere a c. fifth century parallel.


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## Aldarion (Jul 23, 2020)

Ealdwyn said:


> It's probably a mistake to wade in on this, er, lively debate 😜
> 
> Europe had gunpowder from the early medieval period - which in many other respects is consistent with the level of technology in LotR. At the Siege of Calais in the mid 1300s they had "siege guns". Hand cannons appeared in Europe in the 1400s. So I dont think there's anything incongruous in the idea of gunpowder in ME.



Actually, Europe first got introduced to gunpowder weapons by Mongols - who used rockets in their 13th century invasion. There are also some other (presumably Greek-fire-like) gunpowder weapons in 13th century as well. Then you have cannons in 14th century.


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## Olorgando (Jul 23, 2020)

Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> Aldarion said:
> 
> 
> > Question: what about fire_legs_?
> ...


That's easy: that would be Road Runner and Speedy Gonzales. Wile E. Coyote and Sylvester the Cat sure get burned again and again.
Arriba Beep-beep!


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## Ealdwyn (Jul 23, 2020)

Firelegs?


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## Elthir (Jul 23, 2020)

Was it 







Or


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## Halasían (Jul 23, 2020)

Aldarion said:


> Question: what about fire_legs_?









Squint-eyed Southerner said:


>


Good facepalm!


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 23, 2020)

Elthir said:


> Or


Fired eggs are for dyslexics.


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## Ealdwyn (Jul 23, 2020)




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## Olorgando (Jul 23, 2020)

Halasían said:


>


Left unchecked, that could quickly lead to a firefly ... ouch!


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## Hisoka Morrow (Jul 23, 2020)

Ealdwyn said:


> View attachment 7710



Morgoth has only got one ball」

Sauron has two but very small」

Gothmog has something similar」

Poor Old Witch-King has no balls at all」

P.S., in mandarin, eggs sometimes mean "balls" of male's genitals.


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## Elthir (Jul 24, 2020)

My earlier egg introduction isn't about any kind of human anatomy (except legs) . . . ahh . . . anyway . . . please forgive my eggcentricities.



Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> Fired eggs are for dyslexics.




I got that on my second read!

I must be slipping.


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## Olorgando (Jul 24, 2020)

Elthir said:


> . . . please forgive my eggcentricities.


Well, you sure egged on Ealdwyn to a reply - using the right fired fried egg from you post. 🍳


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## Elthir (Jul 24, 2020)

"Then Areggorn took leave lovingly of Elreg; and the next day said farewell to his favorite chicken, and to the House of Poletree, and to Arweg, and he went out into the wild."


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## Ealdwyn (Jul 24, 2020)

Elthir said:


> "Then Areggorn took leave lovingly of Elreg; and the next day said farewell to his favorite chicken, and to the House of Poletree, and to Arweg, and he went out into the wild."


 One Egg to rule them all, 
One Egg to find them, 
One Egg to bring them all 
and in the omelette bind them


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## Elthir (Jul 24, 2020)

Ealdwyn said:


> One Egg to rule them all,
> One Egg to find them,
> One Egg to bring them all
> and in the omelette bind them



Eggcellent!


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## Halasían (Jul 24, 2020)

This thread has really become silly...


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## Aldarion (Jul 25, 2020)




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## Olorgando (Jul 25, 2020)

Halasían said:


> This thread has really become silly...


You may have found the source of the outbursts of silliness:
Too many Monty Python fans here! 😁


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 26, 2020)

I think I'm going to sit the rest of this one out.


Just call me


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## Olorgando (Jul 26, 2020)

Things getting too eggsit(t)ing for you?


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Jul 26, 2020)

I can't eggsactly eggsplain it.


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## Olorgando (Jul 26, 2020)

They are quite popular as missiles (hand-propelled), most effeggtive when past eggspiration date. 🤾‍♂️


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## Olorgando (Jul 26, 2020)

Aged tomatoes are the next most favorite projeggtile on similar occasions. While larger, they have a structural problem: if *too* advanced in "ripening", if you try to throw them, you only end up with smelly ketchup dripping from your hands. 🤢


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