# Best location of your settlements in Middle Earth



## MPetkovic01 (Dec 22, 2022)

If you need to bulild your settlements/castle to protect around 3k people of your kind, where it would be?


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## Will Whitfoot (Dec 22, 2022)

The Shire, of course!


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## MPetkovic01 (Dec 23, 2022)

Will Whitfoot said:


> The Shire, of course!


I agree, but you cant just take land from Hobbits 🤣


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## Deimos (Dec 23, 2022)

Rhosgobel of course! No contest.😁
Protected by those ferocious Rabbits😬 ... man, that place would be so secure.


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## MPetkovic01 (Dec 23, 2022)

Deimos said:


> Rhosgobel of course! No contest.😁
> Protected by those ferocious Rabbits😬 ... man, that place would be so secure.


Hahaha good choice, i would prefer west side of Misty mountain😅


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## Deimos (Dec 23, 2022)

MPetkovic01 said:


> I agree, but you cant just take land from Hobbits 🤣


Not only can you not "just take land from Hobbits", but Men (as in "big people"), wouldn't be allowed to even set foot in the Shire
per the 1427 (SR) Edict of King Elessar.



MPetkovic01 said:


> Hahaha good choice, i would prefer west side of Misty mountain😅


My real choice would be somewhere near the west coast (Firth of Lune/ Grey Havens area) , but I'd be OK with a little east of that approaching the western border of the Shire. Tho' we couldn't enter the Shire that doesn't mean we wouldn't want to have commerce with it.🙂


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## d4rk3lf (Dec 23, 2022)

I'd build a city around Amon Sul, and restore the Weathertop. 
All around the city I'd place watchtowers and huge line of border, and would force a toll to any elf that wanna reach Gray Havens.
"Wanna go to Heaven? You gotta pay a high price". 😎

Who better then Dunedains for the job? 
And I'd pay them miserably. With huge money I get, I'd spread my influence until I occupy Shire, and force high taxes upon them. All of that for the high goal: Conquering Rivendell. 
After the Rivendell and Elorond's trial, where I would (falsely) accuse him of the war crimes, and place into the prison, I'd form a collision with Dwarfs to conquer Gondor and the south lands. 
Step by step I'd conquer the Middle earth.. All except Gray Havens. I'd try to bribe Cyrdan to writte letters to the Valar's, that everything is nice and dandy in Middle Earth.


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## Deimos (Dec 23, 2022)

d4rk3lf said:


> I'd build a city around Amon Sul, and restore the Weathertop.
> All around the city I'd place watchtowers and huge line of border, and would force a toll to any elf that wanna reach Gray Havens.
> "Wanna go to Heaven? You gotta pay a high price". 😎
> 
> ...


Aieeeeee! Unbelievable as it seems a minion of Sauron has returned! 😱
You shall not do this thing (or things)! We will defeat you!
Gwaihir will carry you off (tho' he will think you are icky to hold) and drop you into the very lava of Mount Doom! (Which is better than you deserve) 😠


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## MPetkovic01 (Dec 23, 2022)

d4rk3lf said:


> I'd build a city around Amon Sul, and restore the Weathertop.
> All around the city I'd place watchtowers and huge line of border, and would force a toll to any elf that wanna reach Gray Havens.
> "Wanna go to Heaven? You gotta pay a high price". 😎
> 
> ...


Villian of forth age has appeared 🤣


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## Olorgando (Dec 23, 2022)

d4rk3lf said:


> ... All of that for the high goal: Conquering Rivendell.
> After the Rivendell and Elrond's trial, ...


🤨🤨🤨
In what Age are you planning on doing this?
Elrond left M-e in 3021 TA (1421 SR), on 29 September - which is the official end of the Third Age and the beginning of the Fourth Age.
Rivendell may not have been abandoned to the degree that Lothlórien was after Galadriel left in 3021 TA - Elladan and Elrohir may have still been around, joined by Celeborn(?). King Elessar (Aragorn) came north in 4A 16 (1436 SR), stopping off at the Brandywine Bridge. His forces would have made short work of your pathetic band of hooligans. And the Shire Hobbits led by Meriadoc the Magnificent, Master of Buckland since 4A 12 (1432 SR), and Peregrin, Thain since 4A 14 (1434 SR), would have dealt much more swiftly with the stragglers left from Aragorn's cleansing of the Weathertop region than the Hobbits led by Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo dealt with Saruman's ruffians in 3019 TA (1419 SR). ...

I'm wondering: have you read the (unpublished?) autobiographies of two of the worst non-political psychopaths of our days, Amazoff's Baysorc, and the Muskrat? 🤔🤔🤔


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## d4rk3lf (Dec 23, 2022)

Olorgando said:


> 🤨🤨🤨
> In what Age are you planning on doing this?


We should ask author of this thread, what age is on his mind.
I was considering from second to forth age.
If it's forth - great!
Much less hassle with Galadriel and Elrond gone (although, I'd be sorry for not taking the rich toll for passage out of them).
I guess, very end of the third age would be perfect for me. If Gandalf wanted to intervene, I'd remind him that his job is done, and have no authority to be involved in M.E. stuff, and that he can talk to Tom, pay the toll, and just leave.


Olorgando said:


> I'm wondering: have you read the (unpublished?) autobiographies of two of the worst non-political psychopaths of our days, Amazoff's Baysorc, and the Muskrat? 🤔🤔🤔


Nope,
but if you referring that I am a psychopath, let me assure you that I am not.
You see... I am very emotional, and very much ethically worried (not the trait of a psycho), of well being... of... 
....myself.


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## Deimos (Dec 23, 2022)

d4rk3lf said:


> ....
> but if you referring that I am a psychopath, let me assure you that I am not.
> You see... I am very emotional, and very much ethically worried (not the trait of a psycho), of well being... of...
> ....myself.


🤣


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## Olorgando (Dec 23, 2022)

d4rk3lf said:


> ... but if you referring that I am a psychopath, let me assure you that I am not.


An author needs source material, especially if writing about things he / she is personally unfamiliar with. Like JRRT mined the Norse, Finnish, Celtic, ... mythologies for a lot of his characters, and European history mainly from antiquity and the Middle Ages for places and events.
Your post had such a nice megalomaniac touch that Bezorc and Muskrat just came to mind naturally. 😁
(I have no idea if either has published, or intends to publish, an autobiography.)


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## d4rk3lf (Dec 23, 2022)

Olorgando said:


> if writing about things he / she is personally unfamiliar


How dare you assuming my gender?
Mayne I am... I don't know.... a mix between gay Orc and trans elf?


Olorgando said:


> Your post had such a nice megalomaniac touch----


Oh, wow... thank you my friend.


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## Olorgando (Dec 23, 2022)

d4rk3lf said:


> How dare you assuming my gender?
> Maybe I am... I don't know.... a mix between gay Orc and trans elf?


Do your parents know what you post here??? 

As to that gender stuff, besides the (in English) he / she / it (a character in the "Addams Family" franchise), I haven't been able to sort the confusing babble about the "other" stuff in any way that reduces my confusion ...



d4rk3lf said:


> Olorgando said:
> 
> 
> > Your post had such a nice megalomaniac touch
> ...


Erm ...


d4rk3lf said:


> I'd build a city around Amon Sul, and restore the Weathertop.
> All around the city I'd place watchtowers and huge line of border, and would force a toll to any elf that wanna reach Gray Havens.
> "Wanna go to Heaven? You gotta pay a high price". 😎
> Who better then Dunedains for the job?
> ...


Don' tell me you were expecting this brilliant example of megalomania to be considered the sayings of a Buddhist Zen Master. OK, never mind Bezorc and Muskrat, there have been more than enough biographies of psychopathic megalomaniacs of the 20th century to provide fodder for such satirical musings. 😁


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## d4rk3lf (Dec 24, 2022)

Olorgando said:


> Do your parents know what you post here???


I was drunk last night when I made that last post, and was just fooling around.  

Cheers bro.


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## Will Whitfoot (Dec 25, 2022)

MPetkovic01 said:


> I agree, but you cant just take land from Hobbits 🤣


But... I AM a hobbit. As mayor, I'd rally with the Master and the Thain to organize fortifying the bounds and the Hedge to protect The Shire, not only from orcs and goblins and wargs, but also from you lot apparently!


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## Squint-eyed Southerner (Dec 25, 2022)

d4rk3lf said:


> I was drunk last night when I made that last post, and was just fooling around.
> 
> Cheers bro.


Mr. O was awarded the Grump badge for a reason, you know. 😉


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## d4rk3lf (Dec 26, 2022)

Squint-eyed Southerner said:


> Mr. O was awarded the Grump badge for a reason, you know. 😉


I hope the forum administration will recognize my enormous effort in trying to get, same, or similar badge. 🤘


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## Olorgando (Dec 26, 2022)

d4rk3lf said:


> I hope the forum administration will recognize my enormous effort in trying to get, same, or similar badge. 🤘


Grumpiness ha much in common with humor. In fact, as you probably know, one line of humor takes it as its starting point (think Statler and Waldorf, my favorite Muppets). And as with humor, success - of the "punch line", so to speak - can depend on the audience. With some, the reaction will be 🤣, with others 🙄, others again 🤔 or 🥱, and lots in between. And as with many awards, the criteria for bestowment are murky at best.


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## d4rk3lf (Dec 26, 2022)

Olorgando said:


> Grumpiness ha much in common with humor.


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